Christmas Countdown 2022

 

Bill listening to his radio in our sunroom tonight.

This time next year Christmas 2022 will be another memory.

I'm always amazed at how fast time goes by. Here we are, another year almost gone. 

The photo above is of Bill sitting in our sun room.  Bill spends most of his day sitting in our sun room. When he doesn't, like this morning, means that I'm occupied with trying to contain him from doing any more damage around here. Because of Bill's blindness, he cannot do what he used to do. But I understand he wants to do something because he doesn't want to just sit in our sunroom all day. I understand that. 

This morning he was down in is bedroom hammering. "What is he doing now?" I thought? He was hanging a picture. Oh God. 

I stopped doing what I was doing during one of my Me Time and went downstairs to help him. He wanted to pull the wires from the wire that he from one of his many previous projects. I don't know if I got through to him this morning that he doesn't have to wire our house anymore because things are done wireless (WIFI) now days. He doesn't understand how that works. Bill's career was as an electronics technician for RCA and then GE. He never progressed past the 80's when he retired. 

This past weekend we wanted to hook up a new doorbell. Yes, a doorbell, the old fashion kind. I explained to him that I now have Ring Doorbell which sounds like a real doorbell (rings in the house) and that I can access through my iPhone. I told him that I could be in California and I can still access whoever is at the front door with my iPhone. He doesn't understand. 

I don't want to bore the readers of this blog but I guess you can get the gist that I'm a bit frustrated today. Yes, I have my good days and then my bad days. Today was a bad day. I'm venting. 

I am so tired. January will be two years of total caregiving for Bill. I cannot and Bill will not accept any other way at this time of his life. I cannot put him in a facility. We can't afford it and I wouldn't do it if I could. I couldn't sleep at night knowing he was under the "care" of some impersonal "facility" that is actually a warehouse for people at the end of their lives whose family does not or cannot care for them. 

I fully realize that my situation is a "First World Problem." I'm not living in Ukraine where monster Putin is torturing a whole country for his megalomania. Bill is ambulatory. He can get around. He's not mean or nasty. He's appreciative. My life could be a lot worse and in many ways I'm very lucky. But still, this isn't easy folks. 

You know as exhausting it was to have that kitten a few weeks ago, I miss her. She bonded with me right away and was a comfort to me. She was a stress reliever. I will never get another cat as long as I'm caring for Bill but I think I will if I ever make to being alone again. That little, bright, whip smart kitten provided something I'm missing right now, peace. Now it makes sense what Bill said the second day I had the kitten. He said "I think you care more about that cat than you do me."  I said "She's just a kitten, she's trying to get used to her new surroundings." But right away I realized that I was robbing Peter to pay Paul and that wasn't working. Thus, I got rid of the cat. 

Talking to Pat last night (on FaceTime) I told him I always yearned to live alone. I grew up in a very chaotic household. When I was about twelve years old my goal when I grew up and left home was to have my own place. I just wanted to live alone. The irony is that only happened for two brief periods in my life. Once when I got out of the Army and the few months before I met Bill in 1964. After a six month courtship he wanted me to move in with him. I declined, just wanting to be "friends." That was the first time he got angry in our relationship. He said if I didn't move in with him he would end our relationship. He did say that if I moved in with him I could "go out" anytime I wanted to. He would never 'hold me back." And true to his promise, he never did. The other time I lived by myself was in 1980 when we were building our dream house in Pennsylvania. We had sold our town house in Center City Philadelphia and our dream house in the country wasn't finished. Ah, those days when I didn't have a problem selling a house. At that time I got an apartment in Center City for a year. Our house in the country was finished a few months before my lease was up and Bill begged me to move to our house in the country. He said "Please make it a home." So I left my lease three months early. And now here I am, eighty-one years old never having really lived alone or having a cat. Again a "First World Problem." 

Thanks for listening to my vent folks. Just getting through each day one day at a time. 

Marriage Equality Act

Cool Joe Biden with his aviator glasses ready to sign the Respect for Marriage Act

 President Biden signed the Marriage Equality Act today. This means same sex and interracial marriages are LEGAL in all fifty states. Hear that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas? Recently Justice Thomas said those acts should be "reconsidered." This while Thomas and his fellow conservative Supreme Court Justices reversed Roe Versus Wade, a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body. 

Say what you want about Joe Biden. He has trouble talking. Reads a speech poorly from the TelePrompter but his heart is in the right place. 

Remember in 2013 when Joe Biden was on one of those Sunday talk shows and was asked about same sex marriage. He got into BIG trouble with the White House (President Obama included) when he said he approved of same sex marriage. That took courage and for that I will be eternally appreciative to Joe Biden for signing the Respect For Marriage Act into law.

I remember how disappointed I was with former President Clinton who promised that gays could serve in the military. Then when crunch time came to pass a law, he buckled and signed a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" bill which was chickenshit and he knew it. Again, Republicans or Democrats, all seem to find gay people like me expendable. By the way, that's when I lost respect for Clinton. Even arch conservative senator Barry Goldwater urged him to sign a stronger bill legalizing gays to service in the military. He told Clinton "You're the president, issue the order and any general or admiral who doesn't want to follow your order, fire them or let them resign." Clinton of course did not do that because Clinton was/is a weasel. Not as bad as Trump, who is truly evil and the greatest threat this country has ever faced, but just a weasel. Remember how allowing gays to openly serve in the military was going to "ruin" the military? How did that work out? Of course I knew it would because I was in the military for three long years and had many gay friends in the military. In fact I didn't know anybody else who was gay until I was in the military. And were we all swinging naked from the chandeliers harassing the straight guys to have sex? Of course not! And if any gay did that he of course would be kicked out of the military just like any straight guy harassing a woman. End of discussion. 

Same with same sex marriage. Why are so many straight people afraid, yes AFRAID of same sex couples marrying? That's something I never understood. That we should have the same rights and protections and tax table (yes, taxes) that straight couples have. Lord knows we paid in excess of taxes lo these many years before same sex marriages because legal. And here comes Clarence Thomas, full of himself after he and his fellow conservative Supreme Court Justices effectively repealed Roe Versus Wade which stood for forty-nine years and gave women the right over their own bodies. Thomas spews out we should "reconsider" those laws including the one that gives same sex couples the right for intimacy in the privacy of their own bedrooms. What an asshole Thomas is! Yes, I said it. Asshole. 

I'm getting all worked up now. Time to wrap this up. Thank you Joe Biden, stutter and all, for signing this bill that simply gives me and Bill (or whoever I'm married to) the right to live just like any other couple in this country. 

President Biden signs the Respect for Marriage Act

Relight My Fire

The last few weeks, since I discovered classic disco DJ mixes on my Premium You Tube channel, I've been reviewing many compilations. Some are good, some are not so good and some are just going through the motions. But this mix, it is the BEST I've heard so far. Puts me in a good mood. And I need to be in a good mood because I almost tripped over another goddamn mouse in our house yesterday.

I was making my homemade applesauce and I opened the pantry door to get a bowl and the little bugger scurried out! WHERE ARE THESE MICE COMING FROM?!

This has to be the worst year for field mice invasion of Casa Tipton-Kelly. Honest to God, these frigging mice! I am not sharing my house with mice!

I think this is the same mouse that was in my bedroom last month. I don't know where it's been hanging out since then because I totally cleaned out my bedroom including pulling all the rugs out from underneath my bed., where I had them stored. I put cedar wood in between the rugs. Mice don't like that smell. 

I sprayed with mint last night. They HATE that smell. It's a bit overpowering for me too. I don't want to do that all the time. 

I pulled out the rest of my mousetraps. The lethal kind and the TinCat which catches them live where I dispose of them at the Broadkill River (appropriately named although I do let them out live, after I relocate them it's up to them to survive). 

Last night I briefly considered getting another cat, this time an adult cat. I checked the Humane Association's website and there was a thirteen and a half year old calico kitty up for adoption, no fee. Her name was "Sweetie Pie", which is a term of endearment I've often used with my favorite pets and people. I filled out the adoption papers online before I went to bed. When I informed Bill this morning of what I had done, he wasn't for it. He said "Just get more mouse traps", and you know what? He's right. I really can't take care of him and a cat, at the same time. Plus, cats no matter what their age, like to climb counters and Bill (and I) hate to see a cat in a sink. My brother's cat practically lives in his sink (she likes to drink from the tap).  So this morning I sent the Humane Association an e-mail withdrawing my application for an adoption. It's just as well, having a cat or any pet would severely restrict my future travel plans. 

I was feeling down about this whole situation this morning but my spirits are miraculously lifted now listening to this DJ disco mix. Brings back great memories of when I used to go to the after hours club in Philly and totally immerse my self in the beat while I danced with my sticks. I still have those sticks too. Maybe someday, when I get out of the caregiving business and disposing of field mice invading my house I'll have a few more opportunities to immerse myself into The Beat. But for now, I have a mouse to catch.

Morning Routine

Ever wonder how I spend my mornings after I take care of Bill, and have my breakfast? Of course you have!

After breakfast I tell Bill "I'm going to my office." This is MY TIME. There are two times during the day that I set aside for MY TIME. This time in the morning and in the evening after Bill goes to bed (usually about 6 PM). 

This is when I check my online scrabble games. Last week there was a glitch on FaceTime with ScrabbleGo and I couldn't play my Scrabble games. That threw my whole MY TIME schedule off balance. Thank God they fixed that now I can resume my regular stress reducing activity. 

When I play my online Scrabble games I also play a continuous DJ disco mix from my premium YouTube account. I'm not much of a dancer but I do enjoy dancing or at least moving to the beat. We all find ways to relieve stress, this is my way.

I don't know how much of this YouTube video will play on my blog because I received a notice that I violated a copy write with one or more of the songs on this video. Oh EXCUSE me! Anyway, this is my method for living my new life since taking care of Bill. I no longer have my part-time work at the hotel or my quarterly trips with Pat vary my life. 

No excuses or complaints, I just adjust.

Have a great day!

More Doctors' Appointments Today

 

This morning I had my annual visit to my urologist. My visit was delayed by a few months because he had to have emergency surgery. I asked him if I could ask him what happen and he said "Sure, I'll tell  you. I've told everyone." He said he awoke one morning and had this terrible pain in his forehead, "the worst pain I've ever experienced." This from my urologist who has heard more stories from his patients about their kidneys stone pain which, to me, is the worst pain possible. I've been through that experience several times and I hope to hell I never have to go through it again in my life.

He said he was taken to the Emergency Room and after X-rays they detected a tumor in his frontal lobe that was bleeding! He was taken by ambulance to Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, the same hospital that saved my Bill's life two years ago (and wanted to perform brain surgery to relieve the swelling on his brain, which I turned them down). He said they removed the tumor through his nose! Thank God it was a non cancerous tumor and he back to normal now. He is only fifty-four years old.  

Just goes to show you how fragile our lives are. Again, proves the point to me to make every day count. Take nothing for granted and be grateful for all the good things in your life and try to get by the bad things for tomorrow my be our last day. 

When I was  young I didn't think of such frailty of life even though I almost lost my life through hospital neglect when I contacted a staph infection through a routine hernia operation. After I got over than near miss, I thought I would live forever. Nowadays I am thankful for each day that I am of sound mind and can get around on my own two feet without falling flat on my face (which I've done more than a few times in the past few years).

Now it's almost time for our second doctor's appointment today. This one for Bill at his audiologist to get his ears cleaned and check his hearing aids. This Friday I have a full body check at my dermatologist, which I am dreading. This body at my age? You don't want to know.

More stream of conscientious tomorrow folks. This is fun!

Random Thoughts On A Monday In December

As I sit here this cold December morning in my comfy home office (smallest bedroom at Casa Tipton-Kelly which I converted in my home office), random thought race through my mind. 

Generally I like my blog posts to have a specific subject but this one will be scattered. So fasten your seatbelts folks and come along with me for the ride. 

On the weekends I usually like to watch one of my DVD that I've rented from Netflix. Generally most of the movies I chose are gawd awful. Last night was no exception. One was "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies." Absolutely terrible! I could only get through ten minutes of that crap. It opens with two women sucking each other's faces. Okay, okay I get it. It's a "with it" movie. Watching two women, or two men for that matter, swapping spit does NOTHING for me. Hear that movie makers? Once I got past that gross opening, there was a gathering of young folks at a country house. I had read a synopsis of the movie and knew it was going to be a "Scream" type movie, lost of slashing and funny.  What was I thinking? Sure, none of the characters were sympathetic so maybe I wanted to see them disappear but this movie, soooo bad. I couldn't even make it to the slasher part. And Pete Davidson? What is his talent?  I don't get him. I guess I am officially an Old Fuddy Duddy Bah Humbug Old Man. 

The second movie I didn't even want to put in my DVD player. It was "American Underdog". I read the reviews and was put off by the miscasting. The actor playing the main character was too old, something that so many movies do. Having twenty-somethings playing high school teenagers. Doesn't work casting directors. Pat liked the movie but I wasn't in for a miscast movie. 

The third movie was the latest "Downton Abbey." Pat thinks Downton Abbey is so boring. Not me, I love all those class conflict soap opera stories. And last night was no exception. I've seen all the episodes of "Downton Abbey" and now both movies and I was not disappointed. I won't give away anything but I can tell you my tears were triggered TWICE from two story lines. Of course I knew I was being manipulated but I LOVED IT! And how nice to find that Thomas the butler finally found happiness. 

Last week I watched the first three episodes of "White Lotus". I LOVED IT! That's my next DVD!

Change of subject, I can no longer access my Scrabble GO games on Facebook. How disappointing! Pat and I always have eight games going plus I have one with Sassy Bear. So much fun each morning and evening to  update my games. Now that is gone too. But of course I have to remind myself this is only a First World Problem. The Russians are bombing the hell out of the Ukrainians and Trump the Criminal is still on the loose. My "problems", such as they are, are NOTHING in comparison. Plus my blogger friend Jon in Tennessee is going through a rough patch. By comparison I am living the Life of Riley.

I miss my kitty, Fiona the calico kitten I adopted from the local SPCA last month. I've checked their website and I don't see where she is up for adoption so I assume (I hope) she has found a good home to keep her interest and take good care of her. I would love to have kept her but it just wasn't possible. Taking care of Bill and myself, that takes all my resources. A fact which quickly became apparent the two weeks she was here. Maybe sometime in the future I'll adopt another cat, but then maybe not. Should I survive Bill I would like to resume my travel trips with Pat and having a pet would interfere with those plans. I would like to travel while I can still get around on my own, which is getting more difficult each day. My arthritis is creeping up on me. 

As I am typing this blog I'm also listening to a Studio 54 track of non stop continuous disco music. Normally I would be updating my Scrabble games but since Scopley has screwed that up, I'll probably be typing more blog entries. Aren't  you lucky?

After I finish this posting I'm going to Food Lion to check out the turkeys. Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas I miss having a turkey dinner. I've decided that I'm going to roast a turkey breast. Bill can't eat (chew) any food so all this will be for me. I tried a Healthy Choice frozen turkey dinner last night but it tasted like cardboard like all frozen foods tastes to me. Why I keep going back to those frozen entrees is beyond me. Maybe I'm expecting them to get it right finally. Yesterday I made candied sweet potatoes and they were SO GOOD. That's what has me on the turkey now.

For the past months I've been making homemade potato salad. Folks, I'm going to shamelessly brag and tell you I make the BEST potato salad. I also make the best cabbage and hamburger soup. All these years cooking and I finally figured out that I don't have to follow printed recipes exactly. I do my own recipes and they are the BEST.

Folks, I am happy to report I haven't heard any more "HO! HO! HO!"s I heard one in a commercial last month and I thought, "Uh oh, here we go!" I cannot stand that fake Santa "HO! HO! HO!"

Lately I've been having a lot of dreams. Almost every afternoon (the exception being when I have some kind of appointment), I take a nap. The duration is usually at least an hour or two. This time is where I've been having the dreams. Most of them are disturbing. Not nightmares, I don't think I've ever had a nightmare in my life. I've had some intense dreams (like losing my iPhone) but no dreams where I wake up screaming like they do in the movies. But I do have these dreams, most of which I forget eventually, but I do remember whether they were good or bad. Many of my dreams are of my former pets, family and friends. The one yesterday was of one of my friends. One of my gay friends ("Ron" was also his name) who was also my platonic friend. But in my dreams he wanted to be more than platonic. And I didn't want to be. Strictly platonic Ron. I kept pushing him aways until I finally got out of the situation and woke up. What was THAT all about? 

Yesterday I mailed all of our Christmas cards out, only twenty-eight this year. There was a time when I mailed as many as sixty. Most of the cards were mailed to former co-workers, friends and family who I never see in person. However, most of them have died off now and as a result my world is shrinking. I'm fading out folks. 

My youngest brother John checked out this past September. He was only seventy-eight years old. He teased me about being 80 years old. He said in his card that he didn't think he would reach 80. He was right. Poor John. He so enjoyed life. And he brought so much joy to his family. They miss him terribly. But he is at peace. I firmly believe when you die there is NOTHING. A total void. We who are left behind suffer the pain of your loss. Maybe, just maybe there is reincarnation. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. All these stories about Heaven, and an everlasting life. To me all made up stories to keep the serfs in line during the Middle Ages by the LORDS. No disrespect to any of my readers who find comfort in their beliefs, I'm just stating my belief. There is NOTHING when you die. Make the most of every day here on earth while  you're alive. Survival is the name of the game. And if you can get a little time in for joy and happiness and satisfaction, all the better.

Have a great day everyone!

Dance All Your Troubles Away

With all the trouble in the world I decided to post this happy dance video of Special Disco Studio 54 Paolotes, New York City. 

The past few weeks here at Casa Tipton-Kelly have been a little down. I miss my kitty (Fiona) but it was not to be at this time of my life when I have to devote most of my time caring for Bill and maintaining our home. But rest assured if the day should ever come that I am alone here at Casa Tipton-Kelly I will get another little calico (my favorite color) kitty to keep me company and to keep her out of a shelter. 

This morning I addressed my Christmas cards and had this You Tube video on as background to keep me in a good mood. To keep me from slipping into a funk. There are some other issues in my life which are personal that is also contributing to my melancholy which for reasons of privacy of the other party I'm not going to go into here in this public forum. I've learned my lesson from past blog posts be being too open. Whenever I feel myself slipping into that Black Hole of Depression I put a continuous disco mix on which never fails to lift my spirits. And I remind myself that all my "problems" are First World Problems. I remind myself self that I'm not living in Ukraine where the Russians are trying to bomb the Ukrainians into submission. I remind myself that eventually, The Criminal Trump and his enablers will be held accountable for his lifetime of crime and their treasonous activities that almost cost us our democracy. Life is fragile folks. Something I've learned in my four score years on this planet. We never get another go round. Make the most of every day while you can and be thankful for what you have now, imperfect as it may be. And sit back and play this video of Studio 54 music. I hope it makes you feel as good as it does for me.