The Bills

Three of my best friends are named Bill. There is Bill K., my partner of 45 years and “best friend” (even though he’s not speaking to me now because of a near accident we almost had a couple of days ago.)

Another Bill, is my long time friend (since grade school), Bill B. We became close when we played in the marching band (he the bass drum and me the Sousaphone.) Either Bill or I would save a seat for each other on the band bus for the away football games. After graduation Bill B. and I gradually grew apart and didn’t become close again until we met at our 25th class reunion.

The third Bill, is Bill P. I met Bill P. when I began working at Girard Bank in Philadelphia in 1965. In a few years he was my boss for the next 20 years until I left the bank in a corporate reorganization. Bill P. and I went out to lunch almost every day when we worked together.

Over the years I’ve remained in contact with both Bill B. from my childhood and Bill P. from my workplace. I lived with with Bill K., so he was the one constant. Both Bill B. and Bill P. have met Bill K. They all like one another. However, Bill B. and Bill P. have never met one another. Yesterday morning I corrected that life history anomaly.

I stay in contact with both other Bill’s through e-mail and by phone. Bill B. lives in Downingtown, Pennsylvania and Bill P. lives near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Yesterday I called Bill K. on the phone. I wanted to tease him about the outcome of the presidential election. Both Bill P. and Bill B. are on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me. They’re conservative Republicans and I am a liberal Democrat. Even so, we’re good friends. Birds of a feather or something like that. Anyway, while talking to Bill P. I thought “Why not have a three-way phone conversation and call Bill B. so I could introduce these two good friends of mine from different phases of my life?” I called Bill B. His wife told me he was in the shower. I asked her if she could call him to the phone dripping wet and all that (employing a little friendly humor which I don’t think she appreciated.) She advised me to call in about 10 minutes.

I continued to talk to Bill P. (as good friends we never run out of things to talk about), until the 10 minutes were up. I called Bill B. with Bill P. on the line. Bill B. came on the line and I asked him if he would like to meet my other “Bill” friend. He said “Sure!” I hit the Flash button on my phone and thus connected the two separate parts of my life that were heretofore unconnected. As I knew it would happen, both Bill’s got along fine. Both are football fans (Bill P. the Steelers and Bill B. the Eagles). Our three way conversation continued for about 15 minutes until Bill B. had to leave to attend Saturday morning chores.

I’ve often thought about the different friends that I’ve made in the different phases of my life and would it be nice if they knew one another. With the two Bill’s yesterday, it is amazing how similar they are in their personalities. Both are witty have a wicked dry sense of humor. Both are very private (unlike me.) Both are smart as a whip and very hard workers. Both married well and have wonderful wives (who I also like a lot.) Both have raised children who love and adore them and remain close to them even in their adulthood. I’m glad I was able to finally complete the circle yesterday and introduce them to one another, even if it was only over the phone.

Over the years I’ve often wondered what we had in common. They’re straight, I’m gay. Their conservative, I’m liberal. They have a four year college degree and I have a two year associate’s degree. They have children, I don’t. Perhaps the main thing we have in common is our realistic view on life and its absurdities. Even though we’re looking at life through opposite ends of the political spectrum, we can still mock the hypocrisy and phoniness that we see all about us. Perhaps our friendship is defined by that factor that defines all true friendships and that is the fact that they accept me as I am; flaws and all as I do them.

Have we had our differences over the years? Absolutely! But our friendship has always remained intact. And the reason for that is I like these guys. They both have a heart of gold and I will always treasure their friendship. If I should die tomorrow, I will go to my grave knowing that I was fortunate in having lifelong friends such as these two Bills.

Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t have other good friends. I read or heard somewhere that one can consider themselves lucky if they go through life with good friends that they can count on one hand. I’m very lucky. I can count my good friends on two hands. In a future posting I’ll tell the story of my friends Larry, Stuart, Don, Bob, Bob, Bob and Bob. Yes, there are a lot of Bob’s.

Lately, I’ve spiced up my list of friends with a Wayne, Doug and Harvey. I have had an interesting life. It would make a good mini-series. Actually, we all have interesting lives. I’m fortunate that I am at the age now (some of my friends didn’t make it – Sal, Alice, and Ron) that I can look back and reflect. For that I am thankful. It's been a good journey.

Silent Treatment

I'm getting the silent treatment now from Bill. That was a close call yesterday. It was stupid of me on my part to even listen to his suggestion to pass on the right. This too will pass.

To occupy my mind with something else today, I worked printing address labels to send postcards out to my classmates for our 50th class reunion. It was an all afternoon job. I worked with the mail merge feature of Word. I've done this before but I don't know how I did it. This time I even used the wizard and I still don't know how I did it. Good old Microsoft, God forbid that they would make something intuitive. After about four hours I got the labels printed. I'll send them off to my classmate Carole to send out.

We had a nice day yesterday but the cold has descended upon us again. This morning I saw a new Jacqui Lawson card that featured a tropical island with warm summer breezes. I sent it out to all my friends to remind them that better days are coming.

Hope you all like the picture I've posted to this blog. Weren't you all enthralled by Aretha's big gray bow at the inauguration? Apparently the Bushes were too.

Dodged a Bullet

Every now and then we get a winter day like today. After weeks of single degree temperatures, the thermometer reached the low 50's. Today was a treat. Sunny skies, low winds, mild temperature. Even the birds knew today was special. A flock of sparrows visited my backyard this morning, checking out the accommodations. It was nice to see these harbingers of spring.

Today was a day for a walk. It’s been months since I took this simple refreshing pleasure. I took advantage of this opportunity and walked in the development behind my house. Hundreds of honking snow geese passed over me in the skies above my head. A couple of buzzards, gliding on their long black wing spans, punctured the white sea of snow geese. A gentle breeze caressed my face. I took the long way through the development, finishing my walk about 45 minutes later.

Refreshed after my walk I decided this was a good day to wash my car. This was a good time to get the winter gunk off of it. I asked Bill if he wanted to accompany me. Bill and I drove to the car wash in Milton. Bill sat in the car while I lathered up my car. After rinsing the car, I drove it around to the back of the car wash to dry it off. This was the first glitch in the day. I forgot to put my bucket with sponges and drying clothes in it.

I drove out of the car wash with my dripping wet car to the nearby gas station to get some gas. I’ve never used the gas station in Milton because it is one of these old style gas stations which are hard to get into and charge too much for gas. The second glitch happened. While at the light waiting for the car in front of me to make a left hand turn Bill insisted that I pass the car on the right to get through the intersection. I was hesitant to because I’m not comfortable passing on the right. Well, I was right in this instance because as I passing the stopped car on the right, I almost had a collision with a car coming in the opposite direction that was making a left hand turn through the intersection. I dodge a bullet this time. The oncoming car slammed on their horn, letting me know I almost was the cause of an accident. I immediately said to Bill “I knew I should have done that!” This is the problem driving with Bill. For years I wouldn’t drive with him as a passenger in my car because he is a hopeless backseat driver. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve said “Do you want to drive the car? You’re going to cause me to have an accident!” I shouldn’t have listened to him this time but I wanted to avoid an argument. I blame myself.

I have another friend who likes to give directions while I’m driving. I think it’s a personality thing. I don’t know if it is their arrogance and superiority complex or their contempt of me. Maybe they're just trying to help me. However, I doubt it. It seems no matter what I do when I have this kind of person as a passenger, they feel a need to give directions. Whatever the root cause of this kind of personality, it is very dangerous to drive with someone like this as a passenger. I find that driving with a person that has this need to control you’re either defending your driving or giving in to their scolds just to shut them up. Either way, it makes for a dangerous situation. The only solution I can see is to completely ignore them. It’s interesting but if I dared to give them directions, they would have a fit.

Bill’s upset now and won’t be speaking to me for awhile. We’ve been through this before. Even after 45 years, there are bumps in the road. He’ll get over it. We’ve been down this road before. I’m just thankful we didn’t have an accident. Thank you God.

The Cold Days of Winter

January and February are my least favorite months of the year. One of my goals in retirement was to have enough money that I could move to warmer climes during this time of year. I also wanted to have an in ground pool. The pool I can do without. However, I haven’t given up on my goal of leaving the cold northern winters.

Two good friends of mine depart today for a cruise in the Caribbean. While that sounds romantic and luxurious, I don’t want to go through the hassle of taking a plane to the ship departure point in Florida. It would take me at least a week to recover from the stress of modern day travel. I haven’t taken a plane since 9/11 and I don’t intend to while taking off one’s shoes is a requirement to fly as a passenger in a plane.

Other friends and relatives have winter snug boxes in Florida. My cousin Jack and his wife are already ensconced in their North Port Myers Florida abode. Friends Sandy and Bob, Evie and Barb, and Jack and Judy are all enjoying the warm tropical nights of the Sunshine State. A very good friend of mine, Stuart, didn't take any chances of catching a winter chill. He lives in Ft. Lauderdale year round. But there is a price to pay. Stuart misses the change in seasons. He laments that he doesn’t see those colorful harbingers of Spring, the tulips

My winter stays in the north aren’t as bad as they were when I lived in Pennsylvania. In Pennsylvania, the first snow usually hit the ground around Thanksgiving. Throughout December and early January more snow would fall. Some year (like this year), one would also get the freezing rain. Freezing rain looks pretty on the trees and bushes but isn’t so good for the electric power. Nor is black ice good for traveling the winding roads of hilly Pennsylvania. The good thing about living on the coastal plain of southern Delaware is that when we do get snow it doesn’t last for more than a day. What we do get in abundance down here are the strong winds. At the end of the year we had wind gusts up to 50 mph. Those winds will cut right through you and make you wish you were sipping a pina colada on a sandy beach in Florida.

My solution is to stay in my house as much as I can. My house has a lot of windows which takes advantage of the passive solar heat. My bedroom is ideally located to capture the warmth of the daytime sun. Like my brother John who lives in Greenville, South Carolina who manages the heat and humidity of the southern summers by darting between his air-conditioned house, car and church (where he works.) I manage the cold by darting between my house, car and hotel (where I work.)

One good thing about living in southern Delaware that I take comfort in is that the winters don’t last as long as they did when I lived in Pennsylvania. Where I live now, spring arrives when it is supposed to arrive. In just a little over a month the first daffodils will push their way through the cold earth to be greeted with appreciative smiles from all of us who stuck it out this winter in Delaware. That day can't come soon enough. It's cold out there!

The Day Is Here

The day is here. Our country begins anew. Watch the inauguration today and try not to get choked up. What a wonderful day. Finally, we are all one.

The Charles Schulz Philosophy

A friend sent this to me this morning. It is well worth reading and pondering. The premise is absolutely true with me. I cannot remember the famous award winners. However, I can remember those who made a difference in my life. And that includes the person who sent this list to me. Thank you Diane.

The Charles Schulz Philosophy:

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials... the most money... or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most! "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia !" "Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Taken!"

To quote that great philosopher Judy Garland:

"Be the first rate version of yourself, not the second rate version of someone else."

Free At Last!

The last week or so, I have experienced periodic feelings of euphoria. Butterflies would invade my stomach. I thought, "What is this? Am I finally going to with the Powerball Lottery?" But, I check my Powerball tickets twice a week (Thursdays and Sundays) and alas, I am no closer now to winning than I was three years ago when I purchased my first ticket.

Then, it was a day or two ago I realized what was causing my feeling of euphoria. This feeling was much like the feeling I used to experience as a kid right before Christmas. "What was Santa going to bring ME?" But this was much more than the feeling in anticipation of Christmas. Much bigger. Then I realized. George W. Bush will soon be gone from our lives. GONE! Hard to believe. The nightmare of the past eight years is finally coming to an end. Somehow our country has survived, barely. It is finally going to be over. Bush's smirking presence, his cluelessness, his arrogance, his stupidity, will be gone. GONE! IT'S OVER!

Bush is even put his ranch in Crawford up for sale. This is the same ranch he used as a prop during the past eight years that he was just a "Good ole Texas boy." He's moving into a house that he hasn't even seen in Houston. Talk about lack of curiosity. He left the selection of the house up to his wife Laura. Reportedly Bush is working on his library and his memoirs. Now there is an oxymoron if there ever was one. A George W. Bush library. The George W. Bush memoirs. After eight years of lies who would buy a book of lies? His base? Perhaps.

Some of my conservative friends have told me that they are going to give Barack Obama "a chance." Notice the unwitting arrogance of such a statement. They say they will "wait and see" how he does. This attitude truly baffles me because I don't see how we could have done much worse than the past eight years under the grand therapy session of George W. Bush trying to prove to his father that he wasn't a loser and wastrel. If nothing else remember this about George W. Bush, he was our first president who had a criminal conviction (DUI.)

Below is a response I left on my friend Lar's blog. Lar had posted a thoughtful and invocative piece on the direction that our country may be going under our new president, Barack Obama.

Lar,

That was a thoughtful and heartfelt posting Lar. It was invocative and hopeful. Today we are at the threshold of a new dawn. The last eight years have been the worst in our nation's history. Our country was led by an incompetent enabled by a coterie of criminals and self aggrandizers to the brink of financial and moral collapse. The only good thing that can be said of George W. Bush, is that his monumental failure as a leader has cleared the path for Barack Obama to the presidency. Just as Herbert Hoover lead to Franklin D. Roosevelt; Jimmy Carter lead to Ronald Reagan; and Richard Nixon lead to Bill Clinton. George W. Bush has cleared the path for the resurrection of our country by the election of Barack Obama.

From an administration that caused untold destruction to America's moral standing in the world by condoning torture, repealing the right of habeas corpus, and eavesdropping on American citizens, ignoring death and destruction during one of the worst natural disasters in our country's history; our country now is only a few days away from resurrecting its rightful place as the moral leader of the world.

I thank God that this country has proved itself strong enough to withstand the assault on our country's Christian-Judaeo constitutional foundations by Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld and the rest of the criminal co-conspirators the Republican administration of the past eight years.

The heavy yoke of bi-partisanship and of pitting segments of our society against one another just so the "base" would continue to support the criminals of the Bush Administration and put them back in power so they could continue raping our country with their grossly unfair tax cuts for the rich only, will soon be lifted from our backs.

It will be a pleasure to see the future leader of our country without wincing in embarrassment at his latest struggle with the English language and his frat boy smirking arrogance. It will be with pleasure to see the future leader of our country visit groups around country of all people instead of the captive audiences of military academies and bases. It will be a pleasure to see all the citizens of our country (not just white conservatives) surround him, genuinely smiling and happy to be in his presence. It will be a pleasure to respect our new leader instead of making excuses for him and blaming someone else for his failures. It will be a pleasure to see George W. Bush go away.

I am so happy over this prospect that I have butterflies in my stomach from the anticipation of Inauguration Day, January 20th. The day this country goes forward into a new era with pride and dignity. I thank God for producing such a man as Barack Obama. I thank God that the majority of voters have seen through the lies and deceptions of the past eight years and voted Barack Obama as our next president and leader of our country. My heart is overflowing with hope and love for our country and all of its citizens. The New Day is here. To quote Martin Luther King:

"Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."
-- "I Have a Dream" speech, August 28, 1963