Saturday, June 30, 2018

Family Matters

Today I had a call from one of my brothers. He informed me that our other brother is very ill. 

Today my estrangement from my brothers ended. 

Whatever differences we had in the past, they mean nothing now.  Those differences are minor and probably mostly my fault due to my overly sensitive nature. 

My brothers and I are about a year apart in age, which means we're all old.  

All three of us are facing increasing medical issues. Years ago we used to take care of our Mother. We all teased our Mother about all her doctors' appointments. Karma has a way of getting back to you. Now we schedule our weeks and months around medical appointments.

My brothers and I had a wonderful Mother. We also had a good father but he was mostly indifferent to us. My brothers and I were always closer to our Mother than our father. However, my youngest brother, who I feature here in my video compilation, was the "pet" of our father, which I highly resented when I was younger.  But then I was the "moma's boy" so I guess it all evened out except for our middle brother. Oh yes, we had the classic sibling definition. But I have to say our Mother loved us all even though she didn't display physical affection like hugs. We weren't a "huggy" family but she protected us like a fierce Moma Bear. And we weren't spoiled either. She taught us all responsibility and how to fend for ourselves. A good Mother, we were very lucky to have such a mom.

Mom and "her boys" - 1951

However, as I became an adult we grew very close.  I grew to respect and like my youngest brother, much to my surprise, as I never had when we were younger.

Growing up I kept mostly to myself with my friends. My two younger brothers were best friends.

Now we're at that time of our life when we realize that most of our best days are behind us.  Now we're all fighting against Father Time.  Trying to eek out a few more good days, weeks, months and even years of peace and serenity with our families.

Labor Day- 2005

My youngest brother is very ill. I plan to visit him next month. It will be good to see him again.

I'm glad we're all back together. This is as it should be. 

Petty differences and hurt feelings. They mean nothing at a time like this.  

We're brothers. Mom always called us "My boys."

She took good care of us.  Now is the time for us to take care of one another. 

August 2010 - my father's funeral - last time we were all together

Friends and lovers come and go. 

Brothers are forever.

French Creek State Park, July 26, 1956 (I remember the day because it was the day the ocean liner Andrea Doria sunk)


Anonymous said...

It’s a shame it takes something like this to bring you and your brothers back together, but at least it is happening. I hope you will have a nice visit when you go there and whatever bad feelings have existed are put completely to rest.

Despite the indifference of your father to his sons, it sounds like you all had a pretty good childhood. You certainly had a very nice mother. Who took all these photos of you and your brothers? Was it your mother?

I feel like I almost know you and your brothers since I’ve been reading your posts for years now. There’s another reason I feel a connection but I don’t want to talk about that.

I will be reading to learn about your visit with John when it happens in the near future.

Ron said...

Thank you for your comments. I am glad my brother broke the ice and called me to inform me of our other brother's condition. The negative feelings I have had in the past are gone now. It is much more important for me to support my brother at this time of his life in which he undergoing so much. Like he said yesterday "We all get our turn Ronnie, now it is my turn."
You're right that we did have a good upbringing in spite of our father's indifference to us. "Indifference" is a kind way of saying I don't think he wanted us. Constantly put us down but it could have been a lot worse.
To answer your questions who took the photos? Me of course. I got my first camera (which I wanted badly) Christmas 1953. Except for the baby pictures, I took or my camera took all those other pictures. And of course I have a load more. Some of the color pictures I didn't take though, John's family took those pictures.
I will keep you apprised of our visit.
Thanks again for your comments.

Raybeard said...

Red Letter Day for you, Ron - and despite the grave circumstances in which it's come about I'm sure you'll be glad that the day didn't come too late.

Btw: Re-reading the above you MAY want to clarify/edit the sentence following the photo 'Mom and her boys' - "I grew to respect and like him.......", making clear that the 'him' = your father (presumably), otherwise it just comes out of nowhere and could equally apply to one of your brothers. Having said that, there's no need for you to publish this comment, but just wanted to register that I've read this post and can well appreciate just how important a development this is. Pleased for you.

jayveesonata said...

What a fantastic post, Ron, and one that we can all relate to. In this vast,\ and complicated scheme of things, family is all we have - and despite our differences, we must stick together. I'm glad that you've made plans to see your brother and I wish him well.

I haven't been blogging lately due to the emergency plumbing problems that I've had. I'm in the process of fixing the pipes (I decided to do it myself, despite many apprehensions). Hopefully I'll finish soon.

The heat here is extreme and we've been having endless storms and power outages. Take care and keep cool (easier said than done). Jon

jayveesonata said...

I signed in with a different Google account, so my name will probably appear as JayveeSonata instead of Jon...

Ron said...

Nothing wrong with taking a break from blogging. I've done it often myself but I always come back. Heat is brutal here too. So hot today for my Mexican landscapers to trim my holly trees (they put it off until next Saturday). Now you know it's hot if it's too hot for them.
I haven't seen or talked to my brother for five years now. I've always gotten along with him since we were adults, unlike when we were growing up then there was a fierce rivalry. I just didn't like him.
Thank goodness we're not having power outages here. That's all I would need in this extreme heat. Pat's having problems with his renter in Palm Springs. Always calling up about something. The latest, which Pat is dealing with now, is no hot water. My good friend here Mike also had a water problem. No water. He had to use his neighbors backyard hose. His problem is fixed now, albeit at weekend plumber rates. I hope you get your problem straightened out soon. Always something isn't it? Try to stay cool.

Ur-spo said...

I hope it goes well for the both of you.

WARPed said...

Well wishes and prayers for your brother.



Ron said...

Dr. Spo,
Doesn't look well but hopefully I can see him soon. He has to go to the Cleveland clinic this week. Maybe next week or the week after Pat and I can visit him at his home in South Carolina. I haven't seen him in several years. It will be good to see him again.

Ron said...

Thank you Andy.

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