Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Customer Service - Comcast Style

Standing in line this morning at the Comcast Customer Service Center in Lewes, DE
(yes, I know using "Comcast" and "Customer Service" in the same sentence is a classic oxymoron)

Well that's an hour and a half I'll never get back.  

I choose this morning to return my old Comcast modem.  You know, the one that I'm renting for $8.00 a month that gave out last week during their outage.  The one that triggered two very boring blog rants posts by me about our local Internet service provider, Comcast.  

I knew I was in for a long wait this morning to just return my old modem. I was prepared.  Or I thought I was.  I guess one is never prepared to wait (standing the whole time) in line for almost an hour and a half to complete a transaction that takes less than two minutes.  

Now admiringly I had the option of boxing up my old (now useless) modem and sending it back via UPS to Comcast.  But I figured that since I would have to go to the UPS store on Route One anyway why not just stop at the Comcast Customer Service Store (now there is an oxymoron if I ever heard one - "Comcast Customer Service") and drop off my old equipment.  I would literally be going by the Comcast Customer Service center (does me repeating "Customer Service" in the same sentence with Comcast make me a liar?) on my way to the UPS store on Route One.  Oh sure, I've been to the aforementioned Comcast place before.  How bad could it be?  Well, pretty bad as it turned out. 

At least two disgruntled customers bolted out the door while I was there.  One of the Comcast customer service employees shouted out "Anyone here returning equipment you can return it at the United Parcel store at the Rt. 24 turnoff of Rt. 1". 

Oh NOW you tell me.  Well, I had already been in line for about a half an hour and had bonded with the guy behind me in line (I asked him if he would like to be the executor of my will) and I wasn't about to go out on the rain slicked Route One, make a U-turn and go the opposite direction of my home JUST.TO.RETURN EQUIPMENT.

As I was standing in line, in renewed amazement at how Comcast is so consistently insistent on maintaining their well deserved reputation for atrocious customer service,

I noted that they could do a FEW things to improve our little corner of the customer service world this morning.

For one thing they could have one of those number dispensing machines so everyone could take a slip of paper with their number instead of standing in line anonymously eyeing each new entrant into the Customer Service Cave of Frustration that is their local Customer Service Center.  I'm telling you folks, I'm feeling like a Republican candidate for president with all these lies I'm telling but I digress (again).  

Another suggestion would be to, now get this Comcast in case any of you are trolling the Internet for negative comments about your We Have No Competition in Lower Slower Delaware So We Can Do Anything We like company.  Now write down this revolutionary idea:

How about having more customer service representatives?  Of course you would have to pay for that, paying employees is going to take some of your precious millions (if not billions) away from your bottom line.  We all know that Comcast puts their money into sales.  MORE SALES! MORE PROFIT.  There is no profit in hiring more employees to provide . . . . what?  Customer service.  What's that?

See the photo at the top of this post?  I took that this morning as I stood at the end of the line which literally DID.NOT.MOVE for a solid 45 minutes.  See the customer service guy on the right?  After he was finished with his customer (which, he left unsatisfactorily, he told them to call Comcast on the phone to resolve their problem)


That's right folks.  By the time I got to the young black lady on the left, that other guy was STILL GONE.  I assume we went on lunch break.  Initially I thought he took a bathroom break but he was gone so long, it HAD TO BE lunch or else he was constipated. 

So that's how I spent my morning folks, literally standing in line for one hour and forty-five minutes to complete a transaction that took less than two minutes.  

Hey, here's another idea.  When they hire that other service person, how about have one who handles nothing but returns?  But hey, then if Comcast took that suggestion of mine, how would they continue to maintain their reputation as one of the worst service companies in the United States.

There were times this morning folks I felt like I was in the Russia of the 50's standing in a long queue for bread.  

Quite frankly folks, I do not know of another company that so relentlessly is so deficient on even basic customer service.  

Brian Roberts (Comcast CEO, who just happens to be the SON of the founder Ralph Roberts), do you hear that?  Probably not, he's in another meeting figuring out how to take over another company and become even a bigger monopoly.  

Yes folks, this is how a monopoly operations.  Remember Ma Bell before that wise judge broke her up into seven separate telephone companies?  

It's time someone took a long hard look at Comcast. And the Comcast bigwigs wonder why their merger with Time-Warner was turned down. 

Comcast needs competition.  Come one Verizon and bring FIOS into Lower Slower Delaware.  Surely there is at least one politician that Comcast doesn't own in Lower Slower. 


Ur-spo said...

The title of the entry itself was enough to get the gist of the contents.
Oh the pain.

nitewrit said...


Ah, yes, I dreaded any trip to the Comcast Store, which is nothing at all like a trip to the Apple Store. I think I'll may blog about my last visit to it.


Ron said...

I read on the Internet that Brian Roberts, the crown prince who inherited the Comcast empire from his father Ralph Roberts said he has committed 300 mil to improving Comcast's customer service. Must be a slow go if my experience at their customer service center yesterday was any indication. At least the customer service representative told me to "Have a good day" when I left. Maybe that's the extent of their "improvements."

Ron said...

Dr. Spo,
You have no idea. Comcast's customer service is God Awful. And they seem intent on maintaining their reputation as the worst customer service company in the United States, even surpassing some government agencies. THEY.ARE.AWFUL.