Sunday, September 20, 2015

Unrepressed Rants on a Sunday Morn

Me and Pat (with out now lost out of fashion greasy hats) on Hollywood Boulevard with the Chateau Marmont in the background, last January and our unfashionable regular legged jeans - we were so gauche. But we will be back, albeit with new hats but the same unfashionable (and comfortable) jeans.


This morning I was trying to think "What do I write about in my blog today?"

Several subject matter has been trolling through my brain the past few weeks.  One thing that's been really bugging me is the ever increasing ads in the magazines I subscribe too.  I've already let my subscriptions to National Enquirer and Globe run out.  For as much as I pay (over $100 a year for each one) for those tabloid rags, I'm hardly getting my money's worth because there is little if any real gossip (I am a gossip monger).  Mostly their subject matter is Obama is gay, Obama is a womanizer (how can he be both?),


Obama isn't an American (heard that before), Obama is a secret Muslim (heard that one too before) - but you get the gist of it.  Also the other subject matter is that Camilla hates Queen Elizabeth


and is plotting against her to gain the crown for herself or variants thereof of that same subject matter.  

Especially the National Enquirer, where the ads kept creeping in through the back pages.  And Mike Walker, their gossip columnist?  He's more concerned with making up words like "spy witness" that one almost needs a translator to read his non-gossip crap.  No more, I let both subscriptions run out.

Then there is Vanity Fair.  I used to like that magazine because of its well written and researched articles. Even though I had to plow through slick pages and pages of perfume ads (usually while I'm eating, smelling magazine page perfume isn't a good mix), I tolerated that idiocy. But lately, the ads have increased and the quality of their articles have decreased.  Ever read an article, about people you don't know, and the article makes no sense.  Vanity Fair must been hiring recent college graduates who, of course, don't know how to write since many of them partied and cheated their way through college and are now among the cool set with their skinny legged jeans

Yeah, right. This looks "good." The Fashionistas has dictated this IS THE FASHION. 


(and, BTW, what's THAT all about?  Looks like crap on guys who have a horrible shape.  Doesn't even look good on guys with a good shape).  

This past week I received my Vanity Fair and guess who was on the cover?  Mark Zuckerberg. 




Major Gag.

Here we go, the deification of Mark Zuckerberg.

WTF?  Why in the world do I want to read ANYTHING about Mark Zuckerberg?  What's next? A retrospective on Bill Gates? 


And then, to top everything else off, not only is this issue of Vanity Fair stuffed with even more ads, I get a SEPARATE magazine of Ralph Lipshitz Lauren ads.  Big whoop!

Okay folks, this blog is becoming a Sunday Morning Rant Of Things That Are Bothering Me.

One more rant.  Notice how all the TV commercials for movies always feature someone SCREAMING?  And loud banging noises?  There's a movie about Mt. Everest.  BANG! BANG! BANG! and HOLLERING!  Loud hollering.

Then there's a movie about Bobby Fischer, the chess champion of a Previous Life. The despicable Toby Maguire

Okay, we got it. He can holler but can he act?


(and believe me folks, Toby is despicable, read the Vanity Fair article of a few years ago about him and his gambling and how he treats his underlings - like scum) plays Bobby Fischer.  And yes, lots of BANGING and HOLLERING in this trailer too.  




Is that what acting is about these days?  Hollering?

Last night I watched one of the current "in" movies by the Canadian director David Cronenberg called "Maps to the Stars."



 It was supposed to be a satire on Hollywood.    Well, if you want to see Oscar winner Julianne Moore (who I like by the way) sitting on the toilet, shitting and farting 




while talking to her murderous, crazy personal assistant, and, yes, wiping her ass - then this is the movie for you.  Rotten Tomatoes says:

"Narratively unwieldy and totally jumbled, Maps to the Stars still has enough bite to satisfy David Cronenberg fans in need of a cooly acidic fix"

You think?  Well, if you're the type that goes to one of those "cool" Vanity Fair get togethers, then this IS the film for you.  For me, I'm just trying to imagine one of my favorite film actresses like Olivia De Havilland sitting on a toiled, farting while delivering her lines.  

A satirical take on Hollywood?  Well, I guess.  I for one greatly enjoyed the exterior shots of Los Angeles, where I saw many of the same locations that Pat and I trod upon when we visited Los Angeles last January and will return again this January.  I love the palm trees but have absolutely no desire to see a famous Oscar winning actress sitting on a toilet taking a dump.

Ah, now I feel so much better now that I've gotten these rants out in the open.

Have a great day!!!!


8 comments:

  1. LOL
    throw out all those rubbishy things and I will send you some proper reads to better your character and soothe your failed nerves.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. In the process of throwing out "all those rubbishy things."

      Delete
  2. I haven't read any magazines or tabloids in many years, but I never fail to be amazed by those incredible headlines in the tabloids. I remember when the blaring headlines announced that Laura Bush was filing for divorce. That was about fifteen years ago.

    So, the queen is dying and Camilla is going to seize the throne! I think the angry multitudes would behead Camilla if she ever became queen. One thing for sure, her horse-face wouldn't look too good on a postage stamp.
    I'm not going to mention my opinion on Barry Hussein Obama (or whatever the hell his name really is) because it will stir the wrath of all the dumbass, misinformed people who voted for him. (should I insert a SMILE here???).

    I remember long ago when I was a kid and the Enquirer wasn't a celebrity tabloid. They used to run really bizarre articles about freaks and flukes of nature. Kind of like a side show tabloid. The magazines that I used to read were the Village Voice, Rolling Stone, After Dark, GQ, Opera News, the Advocate, and Life. I miss those days when the printed word had power and influence. Now everything is on the Internet and magazines are largely passe.

    Oh, I just remembered that I LOVED to read True West when I was a kid - - and later (much later) I wrote a few articles for them

    And MAD Magazine. That was my favorite!!!!!
    This comment is damn damn long. Sorry for the ramble, Ron, but your post inspired me.

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    Replies
    1. Jon,
      I always love your comments, the longer the better. You have such a wealth of information and always interesting. I used to read Newsweek, Time and, believe it or not, the National Review (back when I was a Goldwater/Reagan Republican). I used to have fun reading the tabloids but now they're just trash. So devoid of originality and obsessed with Camilla and Obama. I get it, I get it (what sells tabloids to the masses). What I liked reading about in the tabloids was the real gossip of movie stars but there is very little of that these days because they know they'll be sued by the stars and the bottom line is everything isn't it? And besides, they know trashing Obama will always sell magazines so they do it. What I get a kick out of is that they can't make up their mind is he a womanizer or gay; a Muslim or a whatever. These days I read People, Us and Entertainment Weekly but I'm getting ready to let my ET Weekly subscription run out too because I don't recognize 80% of the names they report on. Another sign of my old age.
      Ron

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  3. Ron

    Apparently there's an app you can buy which enables you to read hundreds of magazines which you might like for probably a modicum of the price of several subscriptions. I've never been a big reader - that you can probably tell. And the only two magazines I follow are Dwell and Atomic Ranch because I'm really into modernist architecture and furniture. And these are basically picture books. However, I must admit I like the ads in these editions as I'm interested in what's out there. I do manage to thumb thru our two freebie newspapers put out by the regular subscription newspapers of Toronto. I, like Jon, used to love Mad Magazine as well.

    Pat

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  4. I've just read this after having given your following one [re: regrets], the eye over. - but now that I have there's nothing much to add without getting into deep arguments about, for e.g. 'Maps to the Stars'. Could be seeing 'Everest' later this week which I'll have to watch in 3D as so many are saying that it's the scenery that is the (only!) real star, with those actors' names that we do know hidden behind goggles and thick beards - and that's only the women!
    And btw: Who on earth really likes skinny jeans? If you ask me it's a triumph of advertising over aesthetics.
    And Her Maj is dying? Good heavens! I'd never have believed it for a woman coming up to 90! Just goes to show how careful we've got to be. The lovely Camilla must hold her horses (literally!) and be patient for just a wee while longer.

    Anyway, as for this ranty post of yours, better out than in, I say!

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  5. Anonymous11:16 AM

    I had to laugh at your comment about Olivia on the toilet, although her sister Joan Fontaine would probably have loved it (apparently, they hated each other). And come to think of it, that might have made a great scene at the end of The Heiress. ~~ NB

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