Thursday, June 04, 2015

A Sharp Edge

Ron's sharp edge


Yesterday I let my emotions get the better of me and I wrote something unkind about a certain segment of our society.  I won't tell you what it was because I don't want to repeat my ignorance but I did want to make the point that I battle often with my sharp edge.

Like many, I think of myself as a Nice Guy.  Kind to old ladies, babies and small animals.  Well, actually I am kind to THAT segment of society.  But there are other segments (am I using that word "segment" too much?) of society in which I all to frequently rant about when they frustrate or annoy me. You know, the Usual Suspects:

Parents who bring their small children to restaurants


This is what I want to see when I go to a restaurant - dad bringing his little perfect miracle iodine with him when all this kid wants to do is either play in his backyard or go to nappy time - why do parents inflict their kids on the rest of us at public restaurants?


Lying politicians (a term which is actually an oxymoron)




Religious hypocrites




Telemarketers




Celebrities who have the "Do you know who I am?" attitude.


Reese "Do you know who I am?" Witherspoon


You know, the USUAL SUSPECTS.  I could go on and on and . . . . on. 

You all know I'm gay, right?  Well, we gays aren't a totally homogenous group either.  There are as many different gradations of personalities in gay people as there are in straight people.  The only difference is between gay and straight people is they go to bed with members of their own sex. 

You all know I live near Gayberry (aka Rehoboth Beach) Delaware.  We have a large OLDER gay population here in Toonerville.  Lots of lesbians.  Lots of cliquish older gay men mostly from Washington D.C., who are rather full of themselves. There, I did the sharp edge thing again by referring to the "cliquish older gay men from Washington D.C."  Well, we do have them but some would take offense to the tone of my reference to them in this manner.  

So let me make this clear: while I may often make broad sharp remarks about my fellow members of the LGBT community, that doesn't mean I have friends in that community that I like and respect and (I hope) like and respect me.  In fact, I think I have more lesbian friends than I do from that older   gay male D.C. crowd who have the famous pool parties of Fuchter Street in Rehoboth. I'm still waiting for my invite to one of those parties.

After yesterday's posting, I was chastised by "Anonymous" for referring to some loud lesbian women in a rather blunt description (accurate by the way) who were drunk and raucous. They occupied the booth behind my visiting friend Pat and I during our meal at the Modern Mixture restaurant in Rehoboth last week.  They were so loud and so insistent on letting everyone know what a GOOD TIME they were having, that Pat and I couldn't even carry on a conversation.  

Hey, I'm all for having a good time and even getting a buzz on and raising my voice but man oh man (no pun intended), you get a group of women together and boozed up . . . . . . they are LOUD!  

Reminds me of the times I used to ride the school bus when I was a kid.  Whenever there were two or more girls who sat together on the bus, all they did was giggle.  GIGGLE, GIGGLE, GIGGLE. 




I always tried to sit as far away from them as I could because that giggling drove me nuts. Now when I go into a restaurant and I see THE GIRLS in a booth together, you can bet I'm either going to go into another restaurant or sit as far away as I can from them. There is absolutely no pleasure in dining out with a friend or friends when others are so oblivious to anyone else but themselves. 

I've since removed the offending paragraph from yesterday's posting.  I will try and control my more base impulses in future postings so I don't unfairly paint a whole group of people because of the inconsiderate and rude behavior of some.  And yet, I will try to remain true to my blog of expressing how I really feel instead of having one of those bland blogs that are BORING. 

I admit this is a challenge folks but I believe I am up to it.  

Sometimes I wonder where I got this "sharp edge."  I think from my Mom.  My Mom was one of the nicest women you could ever know.  Yet she had that sharp edge which I seem to have inherited.  I think a lot of her attitude came from her Cinderella like upbringing.  Of not being good enough, the wrong side of the tracks, not appreciated.  She was often very defensive, many times when she had no reason to be so.  Unfortunately I think I inherited that gene. I just hope I don't end up like her, embittered and distrustful of those trying to help her.  That is my real fear, and not of offending a group of loud and obnoxious women who sat in a booth behind me on Memorial Day Sunday. 

Life is complicated isn't it? But never dull. That's why I blog. 

By the way, in response to the person ("Anonymous") who posted a comment yesterday, I understand completely and appreciate your concern.  It is a valid concern which I should be more aware of.  I don't want to go into details in this public forum but let's just say I've gotten into trouble before with things I've written in my blog and I don't want to get into that kind of trouble again.  That's why I took out the offending passage from my blog yesterday and will try to be more careful in the future.  I can still post an interesting blog without resorting to my more base instincts.  Thanks again for  your very helpful advice which I have taken. 


20 comments:

  1. (you knew I'd respond to this one, didn't you?)

    Ron, NEVER feel that you have to apologize for anything that you say. You have never been rude or offensive. You always express your true feelings and that's why we like your blog.

    I spent half of my life catering to other people's feelings and walking on proverbial eggshells to appease the sensitive. The only thing I ever got in return was ulcers and an inferiority complex. I'm all for being polite and tactful, but I'll never again apologize for expressing my feelings and beliefs.

    When I had my old blog "Lone Star Concerto", THREE ladies (I'm using the term loosely) dropped me in ONE day simply because I said something negative about Hillary Clinton. One of the "ladies" told me that I need "sensitivity training".

    Unfortunately, we live in a hyper-sensitive society, where everybody is offended by everything. I think people should lighten up and roll with the punches.

    By the way - - I didn't see the alleged "offensive" remark that you made on your previous post, nor did I read the comment. I simply get pissed when we are suppressed from expressing our opinions.
    Keep on writing, Ron, and telling it like it is.

    That's the extent of my ramble.
    Do I feel better?
    Hell, yea.



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    1. Jon,
      Everything you say is absolutely right. I didn't want to put the specifics of the so called "insult" and the response from the commentator (who is well intentioned I have no doubt) on my blog because of it might still cause a problem at work. You're right, we live in a society today where SOME people are SOOO sensitive. Believe it or not I've had the most problems (a complaint directly to my boss) from gays. I'll send you an e-mail telling you about the details both then and now. I don't want THAT problem again although I do consider it extra sensitive and actually silly. Like you, I've lived all my life bending over backwards trying not to offend and get along with people but you know what? The people who don't like me still don't like me especially those who I've tried not to offend. So these days I let the cards fall MOSTLY where they fall except perhaps, I just don't want another one of THOSE conversations from my boss at work. I'll send that e-mail off to you now.
      Ron

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    2. Ron, thanks for the email. Now that I know the story (stories) I can fully understand why you need to be careful. Despite all the hassles, you should be delighted that your blog so so popular.

      When I write in my blog, all I have to worry about is offending a few middle-aged farm ladies. My adoring fans.

      Hey, I'm glad Tony appreciates my humor (comment below). I do my best to incorporate it into my blog......but I'm not always successful.......

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    3. Jon,
      I try not to let my blog postings affect my work environment but every now and then I step in it. By the way, I find it fascinating that you have such a large following of middle-aged farm ladies. I guess I can see why because you are a very likable guy, even though you probably don't see that good character trait in yourself. You may be a little over the board on your conservative views (keep smiling) but I understand because I used to have the same views until I was almost screwed out of my VA benefits by the Bush administration, getting us into a needless war causing so much death and destruction, almost wrecking the economy, restricting voter rights and their continuing hostility to gays (keep smiling). Not that most of the Dems are much better, most of them work for their corporate masters anyway and not the average American just struggling to get by. But at least the Democrats don't put me into a second class status as a citizen of this country. See, there I go on my rant which I try to avoid, being "careful" again.
      Thanks for your comments Jon. Always appreciated.
      Ron

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  2. wonderful write up. humans are great

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  3. The funny thing about you Ron is that you tend to want it both ways. You want to write your opinion, even if it comes off the cuff without necessarily thinking of potential consequences, then you back down when readers challenge you on it. If you want to be an opinionated entertaining blogger, then fuck what people say--but if you have people either hating you or loving you then you are doing your job as a writer. The worst that can be said about some of your opinions is that they are THIN--they are based on a story that is not flushed out. For instance, what is the story of the couple who bring their children to a restaurant? Do you think they WANT to annoy others? Don't young couples have the right to a night out as well as everyone else? Now, as far as Cheney goes, I agree with you--he is just a fuckwad through and through!!

    Though I didn't read it, it sounds like your post from yesterday bothered Coward, er, I mean, Anonymous, because it tied their bad behavior to being lesbians. Loud people come in all stripes. Does this make you homophobic? Well, a little, but then we ALL are to some extent because we are all raised in a homophobic culture. You think we are immune?

    If you want to be brash, do it with humor, as Jon does so well. (Otherwise he would be losing readers daily!) As Oscar WIlde once said, “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”

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    1. Tony,
      Funny thing is, I agree with you!back to bring opinionated.
      Ron

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  4. Ron, I read your previous post yesterday, before you adjusted it, and found nothing that offended my sensibilities. In fact, I read parts of it aloud to my wife and we both laughed over their similarity to some dining encounters we've had --but we know most people are considerate diners and those disruptions are fortunately few and far between, easily dismissed. You were speaking generally and freely and I guess we're all supposed to be politically corrected away from free speech. I shudder to think what little would be left of human literature if it underwent political correction.

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    1. Geo.,
      I would like to think that I don't fall victim to the politically correct speech police in today's society but perhaps I do to some extent. I've already gotten into trouble where I work for things I've said in my blog. I guess if I'm going to write a blog eventually I'm going to offend somebody who doesn't agree with my views. I try to be respectful to everyone but I admit I do have a hard time being respectful to people or aren't respectful to me. I tend to speak my mind and let them know. But where the pocketbook (money) is involved, that's probably where I have to be more careful. But one thing remains true, there are a lot of fat assed lesbians down here.
      Ron

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  5. Ron,

    Nice little unapologetic apology there. There is no right to not be offended with good reason; everyone can take offense at something. I hate all these people apologizing all the time for what they say, whether intended or not, because someone somewhere took umbrage and got their back up. I do believe in the right to free speech and to have free speech one has to accept that you won't always like what some others have to say. You choose to be a writer. If you are concerned about who loves you or hates you, then you made the wrong choice.

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    1. Larry,
      I agree with you Larry, the pendulum has perhaps swung too far in the other direction for politically correct speech. As long as I write a blog I'm going to offend someone. I do have to traverse that fine line between making broad sweeping statements about people (like conservative Republicans as you know) and fine tuning my statements so I don't affect someone's precious pocket book. God forbid someone should lose a few bucks of business from what I say in my silly, little blog postings. Actually I should be flattered that my blog postings have that much sway and influence. Now if I can just figure out how to make money off of my blog. One thing is for sure though, I'll offend someone in the future again with my blog postings.
      Ron

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  6. Ron. those of us who know you, know that this is who you are, a part of your being. We don't let it get to us. I should write something stronger, you get more comments then I do, I have tried to remain "NICE" and am probably bland. I also hate people who are unduly noisy in a public place, I avoid restaurants with children and loud groups of people. As I have gotten older, and my hearing has faded a bit, I can't hold a conversation with the background noise.

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    1. David,
      You are very kind and insightful. Yes, I am who I am (isn't that a song)? All my life I have resisted "playing it safe." Of course this has affected my pocketbook (money) because I was never a vice president at any of the banks were I worked even though I often had that responsibility. I came out gay and often expressed my opinions. While my work (which was excellent - trust operations) was appreciated and much in demand (too much sometimes) because I didn't play the "safe" politically correct game I was never promoted to those esteemed positions as some of my peers were who did play it safe. They only expressed their opinions in private and stayed in the closet during their employment. I know more than a few of my peers who are now retired bank vice presidents who now live in the Rehoboth area and are out now that it is safe and they are enjoying generous pensions unlike me, who spoke my mind and lived openly. I still remember one encounter that I had with a vice president who I started to work for when I changed bank jobs in 1986 - he said "Ron, you do great work but you have a BIG MOUTH." Of course he played it safe and hide in full view, and got the promotions. I got the work but not the promotions. Bill (my husband) often berated me because I was openly gay at work and did express my opinion when I saw things that were wrong instead of "just going along." My default position is to speak my mind but at the same time I try to be respectful of people, even if they are lesbians who have fat asses.
      Ron

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  7. Hey Ron - did you do that drawing at the top of today's post? Well - I see you put your hair shirt on today. Haven't we all said things from time to time which might have jumped out of us without too much thought but out of emotion at the time. I'm guilty. But a nice recovery indeed. Love your list!

    Pat

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    1. Pat,
      No, I didn't do that drawing at the top of my blog but it's one I would have done. I felt it expressed my feelings exactly.
      When I made my "fat assed lesbians" reference, a little voice warned me not too but I barreled ahead anyway. You know me (smile). I am surprised at the number of comments I've received from this blog posting. I didn't intend to create such a ruckus but that, sometimes, seems to be my lot in life. I'm just being me.
      Ron

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  8. Anonymous11:29 AM

    Of course, you use lying politicians as an oxymoron in ironic mode. maybe honest politicians would be a serious oxymoron. I am glad you are recovering. Juan.

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    1. You're right Juan. I should have said "honest politician" is an oxymoron. "Lying politician" is as expected as the sun coming up in the morning or a telemarketer calling you to give you money.
      Ron

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