Saturday, October 04, 2014

Musical Chairs

Sunset of Life


I just finished watching two more episodes of "The Good Wife" at the Tipton Cinema (my 60 inch TV in my bedroom). Oh how I love that show.  I'm finding that I prefer television series like "Orange is the New Black" and "TGW" to most of the current movie offerings. I'm not a fan of slasher movies, nor a fan of message movies, nor a fan of Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson movies (the two "actors" that seem to be in every other movie).  My tastes lean more towards Christine Baranski. (Excellent taste Ron.)

Christine Baranski

This morning I called my friend Ed at the hospital where he's been the past week.  I couldn't understand his answers to my questions as to when he's getting out or what his condition is.  Ed lives alone in Pennsylvania.  His "friend" Jay died four years ago.  I asked him how he's going to get home when he gets out of the hospital.  He said "The same way I got here, by ambulance."  

Today the obituary for my longtime friend Bob appeared in the local paper.  Another friend has serious medical issues.  He's been blogging but I haven't seen a posting from him for a couple days now.

That got me to thinking of all my friends who are now gone.  There was both Ron H. and Sal D.  

Sal and Ron H. - Ft. Meade, MD - 1962


My good friends during my Ft. Meade days.  The first two gay guys I knew in my life.  Funny thing that friendship, again no romantic attraction or hanky panky, just a mutual close friendship.  Ron H. died in 2005 and Sal died two weeks before Bill and I move to Delaware in 2006.  In fact he died in October, another anniversary.

I don't want to make this blog about deaths but here is one last one.  Bob S., the first guy I did get romantic with.  Of course he's long gone.  I wondered what would have happened if we stayed together. Of course that was impossible because he was already married with three kids when we were "going together."  Here's his wedding picture (I cut out his wife out of respect to her, she's still living according to her daughter who saw my original post a few years ago about Bob S. and contacted me - such is the power of my blog postings when I put out the whole name of individuals which is why I don't do it now unless I have a reason too).  

Bob S. - The First One


I think back to those days when I used to live in Center City Philly. Friday night was my going out night. Friday and Saturday nights. I used to live for those nights. I would meet my friends at the 247 Bar (a leather and western bar at 247 South Seventeen Street in Philly). Somewhere I have a picture of that bar (outside shot) but I don't know where not and I'm too tired to look for it.  I wonder how many of my old friends are still around. None I bet.

Then there are the random guys I met.  Only for a weekend but were so nice I've never forgotten them.  This is Manual Lopez.


Manuel Lopez 1968

I have no fear of posting his name because I know he's long gone and besides, how many "Manual Lopez's" are there in the world.  Lots.  I met Manuel in the late 60's.  He was one of the Cuban Boat People.  Yep, I do not discriminate.  I liked Manual but he went with another.  The other guy dumped him and I heard Manual committed suicide.  What a waste.  I've never forgotten Manual.  What a nice person he was who came to a new country only to become so depressed that he took his own life.  


Then there were those who I have no photo of (can you believe it?)  During my Army days I had this terrific crush on this little ball of energy named David Van C.  Last year while surfing the Internet I decided to put his name in the search engine and I discovered he died in a head on crash in Indiana.  The newspaper report said he was speeding and passed a car on a solid white line road and met a tractor trailer head on.  Not much was left of David or his car.  I thought "David, David . . . . what were you doing?" When I knew him at Ft. Meade he was always in a hurry.  Maybe one of the things that attracted me to him besides his cute looks and compact little body. He was a ball of energy.  Gone now.

So what did this blog post turn out to be?  I just let my brain flow folks.  Letting it flow on this quiet Friday night with the rain falling gently outside.  

I have two more DVD's of "The Good Wife."  That's what I'm going to do this weekend, immerse myself into some good old drama and get my mind off of the fact that in this game of the Musical Chairs of Life, I still have a chair for me.


Musical Chairs

16 comments:

  1. That attractive-looking young man, Manuel, had a most disarming smile and I can easily imagine others falling for him. So tragic that it fronted deep problems. Reminds me of a similarly beautiful smiley guy, still in his 20s, whom I got to know in a Day Centre for people with mental health insecurities. He likewise killed himself. Anyone not knowing would never guess what difficulties lay hidden below that cheerful exterior. I suppose the lesson for those of us on the outside is not to make assumptions. People may well look well-adjusted and able to cope, but it can be an involuntary deception.

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    1. Ray,
      Manuel's story is so sad because not only was he a very handsome guy he had the personality to match. I only knew him a short time. When I tried to look him up again a few months after we met, that's when I was told he was in a relationship and very happy. Unfortunately, about a year later the person he was with left him. I didn't know that person. I was then told that Manual was so devastated that he took his own life. To this day I still remember when I heard that news. It was a sunny Sunday in Philadelphia and Abbie Hoffman and his lefties were going to stage a demonstration in Philly. For some reason I also remember what the weather was like on sad days like this.
      Ron

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    2. Yes, it's strange how certain particular pieces of sad news evokes all the atmosphere of the moment around it. Though it was hardly someone known to me, I can conjure up everything surrounding hearing the news of Brian Epstein's death, for some reason - more than I can for most others who meant so much to me personally.
      Though in Manuel's case it was the unexpectedness on a personal level that will have been so crushing to you.

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    3. Ray,
      Suicide, someone does it because they are in extreme pain or other case like about to be tortured without any chance of escape, is such a waste. Manuel had such a bright future. Good-looking, intelligent, healthy and to throw it all away because some jerk dropped him. So tragic.
      Ron

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    4. It very much sounds in his case that it MIGHT have been more a matter of "I'll teach him a lesson - and then when it's done he'll be sorry!" Of course I can't know what was going on in his mind but it's understandable if it was so as it's a temptation we've ALL felt now and again when jilted, though most of us manage to keep the destructive thought at bay rather than acting on it. But if that's what he was really feeling it's especially sad that to be so blinded by the thought of 'revenge' through suicide that one doesn't appreciate the unforeseen turbulence and ripples that will be made in the lives of so many others.

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    5. Ray,
      There is more than one reason people commit suicide. I suspect Manuel was in a great deal of pain and he wanted it to end. Sometimes people feel everything is closing in on them and just want a way out. I know I felt that way once but couldn't go through with it because of the thought of my Mother at my funeral. I just could not do that to her. Now that she's gone I have two other people who care about me. If they go before I do, then I have an open venue. Hopefully, I'll never get to that point again.
      Ron

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  2. Ron,
    It is difficult to turn your back on life when it continues to stare you right in the face. It's ok to reminisce. Those who have gone before you bring fond memories and are part of what you are today. I find myself reminiscing more and more, just because I've lived many more years before and have so few years left, even if I live another fifteen (oh I hope nor more than) years. Most of all, don't make apologies for what you blog, and I'm not referring to the faux pas of the other day, it is also part of who you are.
    Keep on rolling.
    Jack

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    1. Jack,
      Thank you for your support (sounds like I'm thanking you for a campaign donation doesn't it?) You too at an age where you understand that we old guys don't have "too many years left" and we often find ourselves reminiscing about our wonderful past and what will be no more. I have to admit that at time I almost become overwhelmed with nostalgia but I know that one day I will go to sleep like many of my friends have already done and, if there is a Heaven, will meet up with them again and play out that last scene from "Longtime Companion" (the Post Mortem Party).
      Ron

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  3. Hey, I knew Christine Baranski. I was her wardrobe mistress during the summer of 1979 in a Summer Stock theater in New Hampshire. She was appearing in a production of Moliere's "Tartuffe".

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    1. Way cool Denise! Christine is one of my favorite actresses. Not only is she a good actress but I respect her so much because she shows that a woman who is not a conventional, cookie cutter Hollywood beauty queen can became a very attractive and elegant woman who you can't take your eyes off of. Remember the TV series she had with Cybill Shepard where Cybill was supposed to be the star of the series but all the attention was on Christine, who only had a supporting role? I don't think Cybill Shepard ever got over that. Cybill who? So you have been "around" huh Denise?
      Ron

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  4. Alas, when we live long we live long enough to see the others go before us. But we won't outlive them all; someone will mourn us as we mourn those who go before us.

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    1. Dr. Spo,
      I'm counting on you to spread the word in the blogosphere when I buy the ranch. Okay? Won't be long now.
      Ron

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    2. You've been kvetching about your death for some years; you will bury us all. I am looking forward to you burying me.

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    3. Dr. Spo,
      I'm aiming for 100. HA!
      Ron

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  5. Cool story, bro. :) Just kidding. Great blog man, I stumble upon it now & then. It's interesting to see your view of life, Ron. Okay, bye now.

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    Replies
    1. Fit Studs,
      Thanks for stopping by.
      Ron

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