Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Ed

Ed - 2010

This has been some month folks. Two weeks ago I lost my longtime friend Bob, whom I've known for 54 years (having met when we were both joined the Army in 1960).

Ed (far right) and Howard (now deceased) at my apartment in Coatesville, PA - 1963

Ed is another longtime friend I've known even longer.  I've known Ed since my high school days in the Fifties.  I think we met in 1956 or 1957 through mutual friends.  Even though Ed is gay, we didn't meet under those circumstances.  Ed was just part of our circle of friends.

Ed (left), me and our friend Ron H. (deceased) - 1964 at the apartment Bill and I had in Pennsauken, NJ

By the way, Ed asked me a few years ago to never post his picture or write about him in my blog but I'm making an exception this time.  I won't mention his last name so as to eliminate the possibility of anyone finding him by an Internet search but I did want to post about my longtime friend now because of recent developments.

Me and Ed at his Rehoboth Beach house - 2005

Over the years, Ed and I have had several falling outs which have resulted in years going by in which we haven't been in contact.  I've had the same circumstance happen with other friends (Bob M. being the exception) but we've always gotten back together, right Lar?

Ed and my late friend Bob M. at Ed's Pennsylvania house - 1987

Ed lives and works in Pennsylvania.  Ed also has a house in Rehoboth Beach.  I stayed at Ed's house several times before I made the move to Delaware.  Ed is the same age as I am and he still works.  He works full-time.  He doesn't have to work but I think he doesn't have anything else to do with his time so he works.  He does like to come down on the weekends to Rehoboth and occasionally we get together for dinner.

Ed, me and the Cajun at Rigby's - Rehoboth Beach - 2009

The past year or so Ed has been in failing health.  Yes, another longtime friend in ailing health.  

Last week I tried to get in touch with Ed.  I called all three of his numbers (house in Rehoboth, house in Pennsylvania and his cell phone).  No answer.  That's not like Ed. He always calls back.

As the days went by I was getting more and more concerned that I hadn't heard from Ed. So this morning I made calls.  First I called our mutual friend Don.  Don hadn't heard from him.

Ed at his Rehoboth Beach home with his late partner Jay who died five years ago - 2007

Then I called his workplace in Pennsylvania.  I inquired and the person who answered the phone told me "Ed's not in work."  I asked him why and he said he couldn't tell me.  I told him who I was and that Ed lived alone and I was concerned.  He said he would transfer me to his boss, Ed's manager.  I called and left a voice mail.  Ed's manager called me back a half an hour later and told me that Ed was in the hospital.

As I said earlier Ed's been having health issues that I won't go into detail here but he had just gotten out of the hospital here in Lewes during his last visit. I was concerned, especially after having lost my friend Bob this week. His boss told me that when Ed didn't come to work and they couldn't contact him he called Ed's neighbor.  They couldn't get him to come to the door.  Then Ed's boss called the police who broke in Ed's house and found him lying on the floor.  They called EMT who took him to the hospital. And that is where Ed is now.

Ed and the Cajun at the Purple Parrot - 2010

I called him at the hospital and got him on the phone.  I asked him "What are you doing Ed?" (I can joke around with Ed, I want to bring out that sense of humor he used to have but seems to have lost the past year or so since his health issue have become more severe.

He told me he had fallen out of his bed on the floor and couldn't get his legs to move.  I asked "How could that happen?"  He said he uses a ladder to climb into his bed because he likes a "high" bed (news to me) and he had fallen and hit the ladder.  This happened last Thursday night.  He laid on the floor for hours until eleven the next day when the police broke into his house and found him.  

He said his cell phone was out of his reach on the floor.  He tried to reach it but couldn't.  

The EMT took him to the Paoli hospital which is where he is now.  I asked him if the EMT guys who picked him up were cute.  He angrily responded "Why do you ask me something like that?"  Uh oh, no sense of humor.  I'll let it go.  I told him that the EMT guys who came and got me and put me in the ambulance last year while I was undergoing my kidney stone adventure were very comforting for me, especially one really butch guy who held my hand and rested it on his inner thigh.  I told him he didn't have to hold my hand but he said "I'm comforting you" which indeed he was.  He was straight so there was none of THAT but he did comfort me. I thought maybe Ed had a similar experience plus I wanted to make him laugh, something I've been unable to do for about a year now.  

Ed and Pat - 2014

I asked him what was happening with him now at the hospital.  He said they're running tests.  He has movement back in his legs but they're still keeping him the hospital. I asked him "So when are you going to quit your job?"  He said "Never!" Over the years I have kidded him about working and dying at his desk like his father (who was a bank president).  Now it seems as if he wants to duplicate his father's demise.  

So friends, blog followers and others; another friend who isn't doing well and the prognosis isn't encouraging.  

I urged him to quit his job and live down here permanently but he still seems resistant to that notion.  Maybe after he gets out of the hospital, he won't have a choice.  

Not to make this about me but it seems like lately my past is slipping away.  

Me and Ed at Lori's Cafe in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware - 2010

12 comments:

  1. Not yet again! I am so sorry Ron as it is not enjoyable to see your friends slipping away little by little! I have a friend from Texas who always say with her accentuated texan drawl : "You either grow old or you die young". "You get old then you die"… We used to laugh but it is so true. I have a pillow that I thought was funny at the time but not anymore "Avenge yourself! Live long enough to be a problem to your children". I hope your friend will recover, at least enough so he can still live on his own. Eventually we will all get into that age range when things start happening. I would rather die earlier, than being kept alive so some retirement home can make money. But in the end, it really isn't about the quantity but the quality of life.

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  2. Nadege,
    I am at the age now that more of my friennds are dying at an increasing rate. These people have been an important part of my life. I post these blog postings as a memorial to them and to make sure they are not forgotten, especially the important role they have played in my life.
    Ron

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  3. Wow, and the hits just keep coming. I hope Ed improves and is able to live life on his terms again!

    And you take care of yourself, NO HIGH BEDS!

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Jay,
      I asked Ed "What's with the ladder?" Whoever heard of such a thing? I told him to drop the ladder. Ed's not well and I hope too he recovers soon.
      Ron

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  4. As always I enjoy the pics as much as the text of the post. I got a big chuckle out of the glasses of milk with dinner table in your apt. :-)

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    1. Roger,
      I forgot about those glasses of milk. That was back in the Sixties, milk was served with meals. At least with meals I prepared. Alas, those days are long gone. These days I serve either spring water or wine. Milk is too fattening. Thanks for the compliment about the photos I include in my blog posts. I'm a big picture taker and that's my style to include photos. I often take extra copies of photos and give to those who I take the photos of. Again, my style that everyone knows and most appreciate. Just two weeks ago at my 55th class reunion I surprised some of my classmates by giving them copies of photos I took from our 50th class reunion. I'm glad you appreciate my photos. I have thousands!
      Ron

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  5. Ron,
    Sorry I got on too late for you to probably see this comment but as others have already stated, oh no not again. Unfortunately when we get to our age the circle of life is almost complete and there is nothing we can do but accept what we cannot avoid. It can be depressing at times especially when these things happen in quick succession. You area good and loyal friend and memorializing them before and after death is a compliment to them and to you.
    Keep the photos coming but without the distressing dialogue.
    My best to you,
    Jack.

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    1. Jack,
      Thank you. I will keep the photos coming. Ed was with me that night at the Westbury Bar when Bill sent over a drink for me. We have a long history, sometimes rocky but always remaining friends. I feel so bad for him now. But he is being very stoic. I will call him now.
      Ron

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  6. Ron - I remember the first time I met Ed. It was on FaceTime. You and Ed were having a meal at a restaurant and I was in Toronto. Then - on my last visit to Delaware I met Ed. We visited him at his house and also had dinner out. I liked him immediately. He always held my attention when he spoke and there was definitely no airs. He strikes me as a straight ahead guy. I'm looking forward to visiting him again.

    Pat

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    1. Pat,
      For whatever differences I've had with Ed over the years, your first impression of him is right on the mark. He definitely has no airs and is a straight ahead guy. I'm going to call him now.
      Ron

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  7. Too bad Mr. Ed would not allow you to post about him, for I think he looks a handsome fellow (and I love his shirts)
    How sad to lose a long time friend. But that is the price we pay for loving someone; we miss them so when they go.

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    1. Dr. Spo,
      I talked to Ed on the phone just a few hours ago. He's been in the hospital over a week now. I fear he has given up. I wish I could do something but he has lost his will to live. Very, very sad.
      Ron

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