Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Dreams

Dreamer
Last night I had a doozy of a dream.  And I can actually remember most of it. Usually I can't remember my dreams, only if they were intense, good or bad.  But this one last night . . . . I remember.  Maybe it was because of all the red onions that I ate in that gyro I had last night at the restaurant.  I ordered a veggie gyro and what I got was a pita pocket stuffed with red onions, chopped iceberg lettuce and tzatziki sauce.  I only mention this because I think my disappointment in my gyro and the resulting onion burps were the source of my dream activity.


This WASN'T the way my gyro looked last night.  I wish. Mine was all red onions and iceberg lettuce with maybe two teeny weeny bits of tomatoes - maybe that's why the restaurant we go to rarely has anyone there and is always changing ownership
So here was my weird dream last night:

I dreamed that I was going to a corporate seminar (shades of my Previous Life banking career).

I was to go by car that with about five other corporate types. 




The car was too small.  I was squeezed in the back (no leg room) with my carry on bag.

One of the guys, who I was NOT interested in, flirted with me all the way up (I think we were going to Buffalo which is ironic since I am taking a plane to Buffalo on the first leg of my Canadian trip/vacation/sojourn in a couple of weeks - think there is a connection?)

We finally get to our destination.  My legs are cramped and I'm irritable, having to fend off that guy who was flirting with me all during our cramped car ride.

The seminar room was huge.

There were other groups there.

We were advised to put our things down on our chair, "they will be safe".  

I was reluctant to do so, I like to hang onto my "things."  I don't trust anybody, no matter how often they say "It will be safe." Yeah, right. 

I hear a commotion up in front of the room.  I hear "oohs!"   and "ahhhs!"  Apparently, the seminar organizers, in a bid to get our attention brought out one of the really good-looking corporate types and took his clothes off, much to his amusement and the on-lookers delight.

By the time I realized what all the commotion was about they had his pants off and one of the women was fluffing his penis (yeah, I said it) to the obvious delight of the crowd.  The guy (again, a young corporate type, not one of those bland, Hollywood types) was laughing, and in on getting the crowd's attention.  He certainly had my attention. I needed to get a closer look





Reluctantly, I moved away from my folding chair which held my overcoat (don't ask me why I had an overcoat) and my carry on luggage (to be deposited later at a hotel room, this was an overnight stay seminar).

As I moved to the front of the room the show and tell fun and games with this guy's penis was over, and they began the boring seminar business information.

I go back to my chair and . . . . . . IT IS EMPTY!

My "stuff" is gone.  I immediately zero in on one of the event organizers and tell them.  

They tell me "Don't worry. We'll take care of it."  

WHAT?  I told them "I want my things now!" I don't want to wait.  


I.WANT.THEM.NOW!"

Again they reassure me "not to worry." But I am worrying.

Now what happens next is a little hazy but the next thing I know I'm looking for my room.

The hotel where we're staying at, all the doors and wall paper is the same pattern.  

I realize a man who I used to work with years ago lives at this hotel.  He lives there with his wife/girlfriend.  He's black (not that has anything to do with it).

I didn't know what room he was in so I had this great idea to ring the doorbell on each room figuring he will come out and I would recognize him as he would me.  Jim Brooks is his name.  Usually I don't have names in my dreams but this time I did.  Go figure.

I go down the hallway ringing every bell.  After I get down the end of the hallway I think "What if someone else comes out of the other rooms? They will think I'm some kind of weirdo."

While standing at the end of the hallway, pondering this question, I realize I 


HAVE.NO.CLOTHES.ON


I.AM.BUCK.NAKED

Now folks, this "theme" of me being naked in my dreams is an oft occurring happening.  Usually I don't have pants or underwear on.  I just have a shirt and shoes.  And I usually don't realize I don't have pants or underwear on until I'm out shopping at Walmart or Food Lion.  I was so busy that I forgot my bottom half.  However, in this dream I have 


NO CLOTHES ON - I AM NAKED

Already I see some other people in the hallway looking at me funny.  After all, I just went down the hallway ringing every doorbell and I'm stark naked.  They might get the wrong idea. I figure if I told them I was looking for an old friend wouldn't fly.

I started to panic.  I had to get out of there.  Over by the elevator I see a woman's dress crumpled in the corner.  

Real quick, when the few folks milling about were turned away, talking to each other in hushed tones, occasionally turning around and casting "I don't believe what I'm seeing" looks at me, I pull the one piece dress over my head.

The dress is made of a "springy" material that fits my slim form JUST PERFECT.  In fact, I rather like it, much to my surprise because I'm not one of those gay guys who has a secret desire to dress up in women's clothes (this year's Bloggerpalooza Old Time Photo the exception - THAT was a failed lark inspired by my friend Dr. Spo's venture into drag).




Now properly clothed I went to the elevator and pushed the "DOWN" button . . . . I'm getting out of there before they call the police.  

Funny thing though, I was still rather please with my outfit.  I thought "I just may wear this more often." Very fetching. 

Then I woke up.  

I know, I know.  It was a weird dream.

After a dream like this, most of which I can' t remember the details (this one I did though) I try to analyze them.  


So here's what I came up with.  


The showing of the penis to get our attention.  I think that was a result of a discussion (blog comments) that I had with a friend who saw the show "The Real Monty."  You know that movie don't you?  That's the one where the WHOLE movie is about showing the WHOLE MONTY and they DON'T show it.  Too cute by half.  Oh I know the explanations, "it's more about character and story development."  Oh give me a break.  Don't do the Big Tease then cop out at the end.  Another typical, arrogant, script writers' deceit a la "Twin Peaks" where the script writers created a mystery with no ending. 





The thing about me being nude . . . . and stuck out in public?  That's an oft occurring theme in my dreams.  One that upsets me a lot.  I don't know what THAT's all about.

The other reoccurring theme I have is losing my briefc
ase/wallet or important papers.  

All I know is that I am SO RELIEVED when I wake up and realize it's only a dream.

But folks, what is going on in my head?  




7 comments:

  1. hmmmmm we will see if your legs are cramped on your flight to Buffalo. (Mine always are if the plane isn't full I always volunteer for the emergency exit seats with more leg room or move before takeoff) The cute guy next to you will doze off and show an impressive package while the guy across the aisle will flirt with you the entire trip. Once you land Mother Nature calls both you and your seat mate after de planning so you get a nice view. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Roger,
      I wish. :)
      Ron

      Delete
    2. Roger,
      I wish. :)
      Ron

      Delete
  2. I had a dream where I was working as a mechanic in a muffler shop.

    When I woke up I was exhausted!

    :-)

    -Andy

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  3. Sorry my dear, I only analyze dreams for cash.

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  4. Ron

    Dreams are usually great entertainment. When young I experienced the falling from the sky dreams like many others. My recurring dream now is turning up to class and being told we have a test and I haven't even read the book. Total failure.

    Pat

    ReplyDelete