When I woke up this morning from a very restful night of sleep, I felt wet all on my backside. I went out to Bill and showed him how much I "sweated." He took one look and said "That's not sweat, you pooped (he used a different word - four letter word that begins with "s" and ends with "t") yourself. Shocked (and embarrassed) I rushed into my bathroom and saw a huge light brown stain on my underwear and bottom of my T-shirt. Yes folks, I had "poohed" myself while sleeping. Now folks, that's how sick I was.
At first I couldn't remember the last time I did that but then later on this morning I did remember. It was when I was in the Army in 1960. It was summertime (hot) and a Friday. I was to participate in a battalion parade (we soldiers all marching past the colonel of the battalion presenting our colors). I was feeling very nauseous. I knew I had eaten lunch on a metal tray that had some dried soap suds on it. Don't ask me why I did that, one just didn't turn in a metal tray at the Army mess hall and ask for a clean one.
Anyway, while marching I was feeling more and more nauseous until I couldn't put one foot in front of another. Plus, I was afraid of throwing up all over the back of the soldier marching in front of me. I fell out of formation and collapsed under a nearby tree. I was convinced that the Army MP's were going to arrest me and put me in the stockade. Of course nothing of the sort happen and once I got my bearings somewhat, I struggled back to the barracks to collapse on my bunk.
|Ft. Devens, Mass. - the old German prison or war barracks that was where I lived for four month in 1964|
I was exhausted. I awoke a few hours later and saw that I had "poohed" myself (a dark brown liquid, no "Tootsie Rolls") all over my pants and the mattress underneath me. Oh crap (although that wasn't the word I used, see previous reference). Well, that weekend I spent recovering from what food poisoning or soapy metal tray my body was rebelling against. I hid that poohed stained mattress on an empty bunk, hoping no one would notice. A few weeks later though, while we were kept in the barracks one of my Army buddies pulled down that mattress and saw the stain and said "Who "poohed"(used that four letter word again begins with "s" and ends with "t") on this f__cking mattress!" Of course I would never tell but never one to hide a poker face, I quickly exited the barracks.
|Me (on the left) - my buddies Bill A. and Dick E. never knew it was ME who "poohed" on that mattress - I can just imagine the ribbing I would have gotten if they did know|
So now here we are forty-four years later and I had another accident. Man oh man. Thankfully the only thing I "ate" yesterday was two small bottles of Canada Dry ginger ale. I don't think I had any "substance" left in me after that diarrhea festival I had yesterday.
|Breakfast this morning - I haven't thrown this up……yet|
This morning I went out with Bill and had my first solid food. We had breakfast at Nectar in Lewes. My usual, a vegetarian omelet with sweet potato fries, and toast with a "Detox" juice. I could finish the whole thing but it was good to get something solid down my throat after my involuntary fast yesterday. Oh, by the way, I did lose six pounds. What a way to lose weight, eh?
|"There! Much better!"|