Sunday, April 20, 2014

Money Doesn't Always Equal Beauty

George Lucas ("Star Wars" fame) before hair and after hair
You know, some people can go the bald route and some….cannot

One of the things that has always fascinated me is how the vast accumulation of wealth rarely equals beauty.  Ever notice how downright UGLY the wealthiest men are?  Man oh man, talk about fugly.  Yes, I said "fugly" (which you can figure out).

I always thought "Mr. Softee", aka Bill Gates of the Microsoft scam empire was the ugliest billionaire on the planted.  But now I see he has SERIOUS competition.  Have you folks checked out this casino gambling billionaire Sheldon Adelson?  You know, the gnome who is in the process of buying the American democracy with his billions of ill gotten dollars.

Sheldon Adelson -beyond plastic surgery (is that lipstick?)
I see this bridge troll always appears with his wife who is actually attractive.  Yeah, huh huh.  For sure she married him for his body.  How would you like to have this waiting for you in bed at night?

What prompted me to write this very disrespectful post on Easter Sunday (I don't do Easter) is the photo of George Lucas I saw on my Facebook page this morning.  George before hair and George after hair.  As I said on the caption of that picture, some people can do bald and some…..well, it doesn't work.  George, it's not working because now you look like a major player in the bar scene of your Star Wars movie.  George, you are downright CREEPY. And I used to think you were so handsome.  And what happened to your NECK?

Bar scene Star Wars movie

Then there is my previous Major Ugly billionaire, the soulless Bill Gates.  He of the perpetual bangs.  Give it up Mr. Softee, you're TOO OLD for the bangs.

Bill Gates, self-styled philanthropist who is going to erase hunger and disease in…wait for it….INDIA! What about this country you schmuck?
Oh folks, there are so many to choose from.  The newest entries to the Creepy Billionaires club are the Koch brothers who, along with the aforementioned Sheldon Adelson are also in the process of whoring as many politicians as they can with their ill gotten billions to buy and control the American democracy.

The (zombie) Koch Brothers - evil incarnate 
Hey folks, you want these guys in charge of your… care? You EARNED Social Security benefits? You want these guys sending your children off to fake wars to buttress up their companies so they can make MORE money?  Here I go, on a rant again and when this blog was just supposed to be about ugly billionaires.

Larry Ellison - CEO and Emperor of Oracle (software)
Just to show you folks how ecumenical I am on the peace and love Easter Sunday I do believe Lar is of the progressive (read "liberal") political persuasion.  Still, he is major FUGLY.  Just more proof that money can't buy you looks.  Maybe it can buy you all the sex you ever dreamed of and have thousands of toadies (including almost all politicians) kissing your ring finger but it sure ain't buying you looks.  

But you know folks, now that I think about it I know a lot of people of "average looks" who I find pretty attractive.  You know what I'm thinking now?  I think these billionaires whose pictures I posted on this blog are evil.  That is where there ugliness comes from.  There is no heart or soul in their visages,  just a terrible ugliness.  You know what they say, all great fortunes are founded on a crime.  From the first billionaire in this country, John Jacob Astor, whose fortunes was created from the misery and death of so many trapped creatures whose fur he sold to the rich in Europe during the 18th century.

John Jacob Astor - responsible for the prolonged and painful deaths of millions of fur coated animals during his reign of terror to accumulate wealth

Then I look at somebody like the director Ron Howard.  Ron was cute as a child actor but lost most of his hair as an adult and is no longer cute.  As a matter of fact, at first glance one would say he is rather unattractive but upon closer look you can see the gentleness in his eyes and the genuine smile which make him attractive.  

One of my secret pleasures (schadenfreude) is to see how most of our rock idols have not aged well.  Remember when Paul McCartney was the "cute one"? By the way, I never did think he was the "cute one."  I thought the cute one was George Harrison but he didn't age well either (all those drugs no doubt).

Even with the obviously touched up photo on the right, Sir Paul still looks like an old lady.  

Then whatever happen to Steven Tyler of Aerosmith?  I was never one of his fans but I hear he had a few.  Check him out now, he looks like a drag show contestant who came in last.

Steven, it's over.  Collect your millions a go home.  Hide.  Stay out of sight.  Please.

And then there is Robert Redford.  The original Pretty Boy.  Again, I never go the attraction but I heard (through the grapevine) that quite a few others easily led fans did.  Bob, what happened?  Looks like Bob obviously pissed off some voodoo witch who put an ugly hex on him.

What was the name of that show?  Uh…..yes that's it!  The Crypt Keeper.  

Hey folks, I may be poor (which I definitely am) but if I had the chance to make a devil's trade for my looks for a large bank account but also had to go major, creepy ugly… thanks.  I'll stay poor.  

And that my friends is my posting on this Easter Sunday.  Not quite the Easter Bunny was it?


  1. The photo of a bold George Lucas comes from an app. He is not bold at all. Where is Donald Trump in your list of fuglies? Gravity does takes its toll even on the most beautiful. Facelifts and fillers, botox... can only go so far. There is no way anybody can catch up to their youth.

    1. Nadege,
      How could I forget The Donald? You're right, he belongs on this list.

  2. I LOVE THIS POST! fugly is as fugly does. I would rather be the person I am.

    PS - my fave beatle is and always will be ringo!

    1. Anne Marie,
      So many fuglies, so little time!

  3. I'd never thought about the correlation between wealth and ugliness before but you may well have a point, though it's ironic that those, especially male ones, who have the means to get as many face-lifts, hair implants and God-knows-what injections as they want never seem to show it in their looks, thereby proving that retaining handsome-ness just cannot be done!
    Shame about Redford though. He's long since started showing his true age in his melting features - even though I can't believe that all, or even any. of his hair is his own.

    I wonder if you agree that no one who's had a beard ever looks better with it shaved off. It's something I've always thought and even now can't think of any exceptions to this - while realising that it's a particularly personal viewpoint with which, I know, a lot of women would disagree.

    1. Ray,
      Redford is melting.

  4. Anonymous11:00 PM

    You missed Ron Howard's brother. Not just ugly - creepy ugly! There are just some men in the world that are so ugly, that no matter how rich they might be I'd run as far and as fast in the opposite direction as I could. There is no amount of money in the world that would ever make me sleep with a hideous looking man. I don't understand the women that do - but I'm sure they've earned every penny by subjecting themselves to it.

    1. Anonymous,
      I knew Ron Howard's brother was ugly. However, he's not rich. What a bummer for him, that ugly and no money.


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