Sunday, October 27, 2013

When I Fall In Love

Have you ever been in love?  If you're among the fortunate few you can answer "yes."  

Love comes in many forms.  Parents love their children.  We love our pets.  If you're really lucky, you love your job.  You may love where you love.

Some love food, and some others love to travel.  But the love I'm talking about is old fashion romantic love.

I remember as a 10 year old sitting in the Roosevelt movie theater in my small town of Downingtown, Pennsylvania watching the twenty foot high beautiful men and women of Hollywood kissing.  I thought to myself "This is what I should aspire to. This is what life is all about"  But something wasn't clicking.  Although the men and women (especially the women, the beauty of Hedy Lamarr just took my breath away) were certainly beautiful, I knew I didn't look like that.  Watching all that face sucking just did nothing for me.  I knew I was missing something.

Hedy Lamarr - most beautiful film actress - ever

Then came the day I saw the actor Farley Granger in a movie.  OH.MY.GOD.  I thought Hedy Lamarr took my breath away....when I saw Farley's beautiful, soft, sensuous features I just melted in my seat.  It was then and there in that darkened movie theater in which I paid 20 cents to enter that I "got it."  I.WAS.IN.LOVE.  

Farley Granger

I think I saw every movie Farley Granger was in, including that whole series with Shelley Winters.  I remember being so jealous of Shelley because she had him and I didn't.  

Shelley Winters and Farley Granger

So Farley Granger was my first big movie screen crush.  How ironic that many years later I saw him on a soap opera.  He was still attractive although aged quite a bit and had lost that youthful luster that he projected on all those old black and white movies of the Fifties.  I'm on of those gay guys who find older men, even in their 70's and 80's attractive - always have always will. However, when I saw him on a talk show promoting his autobiography I was very disappointed.  He turned out to be just another New York "theatah" queen. He even tried to peddle that he was bisexual. Give me a break.  But be that as it may and I'm getting off subject.  You see folks, I never have a problem writing about ANYTHING on a blog.

Farley Granger - New York theatah actor

So let's get back to our program in progress about falling in love.  Farley was my first "love"....albeit from afar.

Farley doing a pretty good job of faking it on the beach a la Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr

Well, in the ensuing years since that 10 year old boy naiveté, I have been so fortunate that I have fallen in love several times.  I'm talking about good old fashion romantic love. The love I have for Bill (my spouse) is totally different.  I love Bill but it is a love that has grown over the almost fifty years we have been together.  It is not nor has ever been the storybook romantic love that many of us have dreamed about.  But Bill and I will be together as long as both of us are alive.  Our love for one another is unbreakable. 

Now I know what some of you are thinking.  Was he in love or in lust. Well folks, I'm the first to admit that I'm no Goody Two Shoes but romantic love has always been my preference than just notching up scores on my gun holster.  

The thing is about me and love is that once I'm in love with somebody I've never fallen out of love.  So what happened?  They fell out of love with me. Everyone. Maybe they weren't in love with me in the first place but in lust or just looking for a sugar daddy place to live.  Been there, done that.  Oh have I ever.  The scars are still tender.

Burt and Deborah in "From Here to Eternity"

I know what it is like to be in love and it is the absolute best feeling in the world.  You know when you're in love when all those love songs have real meaning. When your world is in technicolor now instead of black and white.  When little things don't bother you anymore because you have someone who you love and loves you in return.  

Doesn't it seem like we're all just marking time until we can find that one special person with whom we can fall in love with?  And when you do then you realize why you were born and what the purpose of life is:  to love and be loved in return.


Jon said...

There are many different levels of love - - sort of like there are different levels of Hell in Dante's Inferno. Love can range from absolute perfect unison to merely addictive infatuation. True love is difficult to find, but experiencing it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Many people profess to be romantic, but true romantics are rare. I'm a diehard romantic and a shameless sentimentalist. A lethal combination.....
And, yes, I've been deeply in love. It's a helluva long story.

I was never in love with Farley Granger (*smile*) but I remember the movie he made with Shelley Winters where he gets her a dog for an anniversary present - - I think it was called "Behave Yourself". I met Shelley Winters at the L.A. Music Center during the Oscars. I won't mention what year it was, but I was only nineteen.

Raybeard said...

Re: Farley Granger - There was a feature film-documentary which I saw at the cinema (must have been close on 20 years ago now) on the portrayal of gays on film (or was it exclusively about Hollywood?) in which F.G. was one of the contributor-interviewees. (I forget the name of the film). That was the first time I saw any public acknowledgement that he might have been gay. Of course, I wasn't aware of any American TV appearances since those early films.
The two Hitchcock films he made were interesting in this aspect. In 'Strangers on a Train' he was the one who portrayed the 'straight' hetero goodie up against the campish, mother-loving, implied gay, villain of Robert Walker (in real-life an inveterate womaniser) whereas the superb original Patricia Highsmith novel is much more equivocal about the sexuality of both men.
Then in 'Rope' he played the nervous, always-on-edge half of another implied gay relationship, the two of them committing a murder 'just for kicks'. Both these films plots, as re-written (under Hitchcock's direction, presumably), would have strongly appealed to that director who, like many of us, would have got his homophobic attitudes spoon-fed to him through his Catholic education - as, indeed, a lot of us did..

WARPed said...

Hi Ron,

Did you know that Hedy Lamarr was also a rocket scientist?

You can Google it...



pat888 said...


Love your blog and all the comments that follow. The mention of Rope (Raybeard) unsettles me because I think it's Hitchcock's most disturbing film. I had later learned it was based on an actual event. The screenplay was done by actor Hume Cronyn who was a good friend of Alfred's and who also starred in Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt and Lifeboat. Tying in with your theme, Ron, I had a major attraction for Hume - husband of Jessica Tandy. And this was not all that long ago. I did a bit of correspondence with him and finally was able to shake his hand when he rec'd his Star of Fame up here in Toronto. I found his autobiography - A Terrible Liar - a terrific piece of storytelling which endeared me to him even more.


Anonymous said...

I keep hoping to find that real love. I've thought I had it two or three times, but alas, it was not meant to be. I know my "love" for Rocket Scientist this last weekend was of course, LUST! But I'd sure love to explore him and see where it led!

Peace <3

anne marie in philly said...

there have been 2 special men in my life; both are now deceased. sometimes I wonder "what if", but reality always brings me back around.

Ron said...

I always liked Hume Cronyn. He came across to me as a very decent fellow and not your typical, self absorbed actor. I can understand your attraction to him. How thrilling for you to have met him. I've never met any of my favorite actors. I wish I had. I will check out his autobiography. Thanks for the tip.


Ron said...

I hope you find real love. Believe me, all the songs and movies and books can never even come close to what experiencing what real love is about. When you're in love and that love is returned, you feel you can do anything. The little, every day annoyances of life mean nothing. When you're in love, every day is in technicolor, even cloudy, rainy days. There is nothing like it Jay. If I should die tomorrow, I'll die happy because I know I've been on of those fortunate few to experience true love. You just never know Jay when love will enter your life. I hope it is soon.


Ron said...

Anne Marie,
You are among the fortunate few to experience the glories of real love. Isn't it wonderful? Just a few months ago I was wondering "what if?" Well dear, now I know. And it is wonderful.