Friday, October 04, 2013

"It Hurt Like Hell!"

Filling out the old questionnaire at the doctor' office this morning 

Okay folks, I just got my stent out about an hour ago and IT HURT LIKE HELL!  So to all you folks who said "Oh, it only takes a second or two and feels funny" Oh no it didn't.  

The tools at the ready

In fact I just called my friend Bill B. this morning before I left for my 11 am appointment and asked him how his stent removal went.  He had it done about a month ago.  He said "Oh, it wasn't too bad."  Well, good for him.  Mine was the exception.  Of course I was the exception.

Even the video I posted on my previous blog was better than what I just went through.  At least that guy's pain was really on a "second or two."

So here is what happened to me folks.  My doctor's assistant (female of course, why aren't there any males in the nursing field?) gets my penis ready by applying an application on the tip that "numbs it."  And oh yes, I'm in the stirrups again (unlike my friend who just was on the hobby horse).  

Then I await my doctors, in the stirrups, with a numb penis. I'm not complaining about my doctor, he's one of the best in Delaware but I was waiting in those stirrups, pantless, with a numbed penis for about 15 minutes.  Fun times in Delaware.

My pants on the chair after I followed the instructions ("take everything off below the waist")

Then they come in.  My doctor and his assistant.  He inserts a device in my penis.  That wasn't too bad.  The bad part came when he hooked it to the stent and started to pull it out.  OUCH!  DAMN THAT HURT!

Then he did it again.....and again.....and again.....and again.  Yes folks, he was having a problem pulling the stent out and every time he pulled I felt like I was going through the ceiling from the pain.  So much for the "oh, it only takes a few seconds and feels funny."  Bull shit, it hurt like Hell.

The stent it out! That's lubricant on the hobby horse - my lubricant

I figure I have a pretty high pain thresh hold.  I'm not one of those screamers but when I'm in that kind of pain I do grunt.  And I mean GRUNT BIG TIME.

I was doing a lot of grunting.  My doctor explained to me "You have a lot of protein on your stent, that is why it is hard to pull it out."  He said it was slippery like ice.  

I could tell both of them were feeling bad for me every time they tried to get a grip on the stent and pull it out and I GRUNT and grip the paper sides of the hobby horse I'm holding onto.  I'm telling you folks, I was half tempted to just get off that table, stent in or not just to put an end to that torture.  And yes, that's what it felt like....torture.

The hobby horse after the deed was done - yes, that's my mess and sneakers (you think I was going to keep them on without my pants and underwear?)

I guess I'm bitching and complaining here but this year has been one hell of a year for me with these procedures.  First it was the prostate cancer with a staple gun stuck my my ass to get twelve biopsies. Then the volume check (of my prostate) to make sure it was the right size for the seed implant.  Then the seed implant itself.

Then, as a bonus I had three episodes of kidney stones.  One on my left side, which passed.  Then one on my right side which got stuck.  I endured that pain for eight days before they admitted me to the hospital and surgery.  Then they found two more kidney stones and that's why they put the stent in to prevent them from entering my ureter canal.  Then I had a procedure (surgery) to blast those two kidney stones (which apparently was successful).  Then living three weeks with this stent which made peeing uncomfortable if not unbearable.  Now today.  Damn.  I've had enough procedures this year to last me a lifetime.  

Now my penis is sore, I'm dizzy, and I still have more test to take.  Monday I have to pee in a container for 24 hours, refrigerate it and then take it in to my urologist.  Then a blood test.  Then do the whole thing over again.  

Hey, ain't getting old a blast?

So take a look at my "souvenir."  That's what was in me.  Fun times.  And don't let anyone tell you that the stent removal is "nothing."  At least in my case it wasn't "nothing."  Damn, it hurt.  

You know what I was thinking folks?  I think every one of those a-hole Republican who precipitated this government shutdown should have to go through what I went through this morning as a prerequisite to shutting down the government again or failing to raise the debt ceiling.  I'm pretty sure they would have second thoughts about their reckless actions.

There it is folks, that's what was in my ureter canal - now my very own personal souvenir.  Hey, I just thought of a very unique, PERSONAL, Christmas present.  Or maybe a Bloggerpalooza surprise gift.
So if anyone has a stent removal coming up in their future, please be aware that not all procedures take "only a second or two."  I hope yours does and you don't have to go through what I went through this morning because if you do, you won't long forget it. 

Have a great day!

13 comments:

  1. Ron,

    My condolences, but at least it is out. Hopefully this will end your worse trails for a while.

    Lar

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    Replies
    1. Lar,
      I had a suspicion this wouldn't be easy for me this morning and I was right. Jut talked to Brookover, who had the same procedure last month. He had no problems. He was surprised that I did. But like my doctor said "You had a lot of protein on your stent, that's why it was hard to grab hold of it." Just my luck. Well, I'll tell you one thing you don't want to experience is someone with an instrument up your penis, no matter how much lubricant, pulling and tugging on a foreign device in your abdomen. It hurts.

      Ron

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  2. Ron

    Geez - I could barely get thru this. Man, I'm squirming. But finally - you're back and all in one piece. Hope it's going to be smooth sailing for you for a long long time.

    Pat

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Pat. Yes, it is over. Now I can try to get my life back to normal. I've had enough this year. I'm still sore though, I hope this goes away soon.

      Ron

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  3. OMB! horrible medical procedure! hope mr. peenee gets better soon.

    and I REALLY like your medical idea for the redumblicans - AND they can't use their insurance for the procedure, they must apply for obamacare! bwhahahahahaha!

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    Replies
    1. Anne Marie,

      I won't sugar coat my experience this morning, it did HURT LIKE HELL. Usually the doctor can "grab" the stent pull it right out. With mine, his "grab" kept slipping and thus he had to keep "poking" which is what was killing me. The whole procedure lasted about three minutes, which doesn't seem like a long time but if you're going through that, it was. Especially when everyone told me "Oh, it's NOTHING." Well, I beg to differ, in my situation it wasn't. Maybe they should go through what I went though.

      Ron

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  4. If that thing shows up at blogger-pa-looza, you might have something else in your sneakers besides PEE!!!

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Jay,

      HA! I'm not making any promises.

      Ron

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  5. Gawd Almighty - - I am very seldom speechless, but your harrowing experience has rendered me almost speechless. All I can say is that (hopefully) the worst is over and that (hopefully) you won't have to endure any more agonizing medical procedures. Rest up and relax!!

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  6. Jon,

    I hope this us it for invasive procedures in my private parts. I can't take much more of this.
    Ron

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  7. Yikes!!!

    Glad that is over for you.

    I had a belated idea that if the doctor punched you in the mouth while simultaneously pulling out the stent, you wouldn't feel it (the stent, that is.)

    Maybe you can try that if you have to have another painful procedure.

    And you have to pee for 24 HOURS??? !!! You're gonna have to drink LOTS of beer...lol!

    Amidst all this talk about kidneys, Republicans, health care, etc., I came across a funny headline in the Kansas City Star, regarding Ted Cruz's recent pseudo-filibuster:

    CRUZ'S BLADDER-BURSTING BLATHER FAILS TO VOID OBAMACARE

    Pretty good one, eh?

    :-)

    -Andy

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  8. ouch
    I am glad this is over for you.

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  9. Ouch! I had something similar about a year ago. I know your pain, not fun!

    Hope you get better.

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