Yes, I believe I do.
From my earliest memory, when I was about 3 1/2 years old I remember "I'm here and I'm going to do THIS (life) again." I definitely remember I had a feeling of returning.
I don't remember exactly when it was that I realized I was not alone in my renewed Life Journey. I do remember the comfort I felt attending summer Bible school. I even received a certificate of perfect attendance in 1948, when I was a mere six years old. A few years later that comfort that I felt from the church was destroyed by a hate filled rant by a Pentecostal preacher who, face red and purple with rage and foam at his mouth, screamed at his congregation at which my Aunt Peg took me one Sunday when I was twelve years old "You're all sinners! You were born in sin, you live in sin and you will die in sin! You must repent or spend eternity in the everlasting fires of Hell!"
At first I was confused. I thought:
- "I didn't ask to be born and I didn't make a choice to be a sinner."
- "Why is this preacher screaming at me?"
- "Why does he hate me?"
- "Does God hate me because I was born in sin?"
- "What can I do to make this man and God stop hating me?"
Then came the coup de tat, I knew I was "different" (homosexual) and I knew I was surely damned even before I had a chance at life.
As I matured I realized that organized religion was for the great bulk of people who chose, in my opinion, the easy way for spirituality. They didn't have to think, just follow man-made instructions on how to think and live their lives. I don't criticize their choice but that is the way I see it. I don't go that way. If there is a God, he/she gave me FREE WILL (as the "religious" are so fond of quoting) and I'm using it. Now rest assured folks, I'm being very careful here not to step on anyone's religious toes. I know everyone has their own beliefs, and some of those who follow organized religion tend to get very defensive and huffy puffy if one of the Flock goes in a different direction but be that as it may. I don't force my views on anyone (proselytize) nor do I appreciate anyone preaching their religious views to me. I can take care of myself quite well, thank you.
And do you know what gets me through the days, weeks, months and years? I know I have a guardian angel. Of course I know the term "Guardian Angel" connotes Catholic visions of diaphanous lady visions of angels.
|Guardian angel for straight folks|
|A real guardian angel for Ron|
I always believed that I had a "presence" with me during my life. My own personal guardian angel to help me through the challenges in my life. At times I was pretty low but I never gave up hope because I knew, I just KNEW that I was not alone in my Journey.
A few months ago my beliefs were confirmed. Some have a "coming to Jesus" moment. Some are reborn. None of those man made events for me. I don't need nor have ever needed anyone to tell me how to think for believe. I've always known deep within my soul what was right for me.
Others with judge me and call me as an Unbeliever or ignorant. But folks, I am in this shell that is called a human body and I have my own soul to live with and understand. What I tell others who are so concerned about my soul and who say they will "pray for me" (such a condescending attitude that never fails to rile me up), I say "Take care of your own life first, I'll take care of mine."
So today, as I am about to embark on another day of living, continuing to the Final Countdown when I am no longer here on this earth to ruffle feathers, upset the egg basket, and cause consternation of those who profess to "care about me", I say that today is the happiest I've ever been in my life. I never knew that happiness could be this wonderful. And that is because my Guardian Angel has come into my life.