Friday, July 12, 2013

Wedding Announcement


Wedding announcement that appeared in today's Cape Gazette, our local newspaper thus informing everyone, inclusive and non-inclusive that Bill and I are ONE now

Hey folks!  There are two things I never expected to see in my lifetime.  

One was my participation in a beauty contest (my gay male friends will understand this).

The second "thing" was my wedding announcement in a local newspaper.  The thought never occurred to me, not all.

But then a Funny Think Happened on the Way to the Forum.



Delaware, this wonderful, loving, all inclusive state that I live in done when and passed a Marriage Equality bill thus enabling me to officially marry my long time (49 years) lover, partner, William Daniel Kelly.

So when the law became effective July 1st, Bill and I strode right down to the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown and got our marriage license.  We joined many other couples, male and female, who were also there to convert their civil unions into marriages.  It was a wonderful day that July 1st.



On July 3rd, our 49th anniversary we were married.  We were officially now OUT, much to Bill's chagrin, who has always preferred to remain under the radar but not now.  We're out there baby, showing the world that two old gay guys, who are not the Usual Suspects in the Gay Cause (we don't dress up as nuns in drag 


or leather queens to march in annual Gay Pride parades), can do their part to make life better for those gay couples who will follow us after we're long gone.  I know, I know, that was a long sentence but hey, waiting 49 years to get married?  Talk about a long "sentence."  



We've all seen the usual gay activists faces from places like Camp Rehoboth plastered all over the news media every time there is a forward motion in the Gay Cause.  They have helped a lot and their work and effort is much appreciated however I thought I would do something a little different to further the Gay Cause.  Me and Bill, two quiet, non-bar attending, no Gayla Balls or gay cruises and definitely no walks on the boardwalk with pink boas camping it up, thus reinforcing gay stereotypes; I thought that we two, old, non-flashy, and definitely not campy gay men would show the world that there are more like us than Them.  We're just two human beings, who happen to be the same sex, living out our lives in a quiet neighborhood with our mostly straight neighbors.  

Me, Bill and our dear friends Jack and Judy D. who graciously served as our witnesses - nary a pink boa in sight. The only pink was our pink carnation boutonnieres.   

I think of all those young gay boys and girls who feel that they either should come out as flaming queens or butch bull dykes, with no option in between.  Well, I'm here to tell these young folks there is another option.  You can live your life just the way you want to, and not feel obligated to live it according to either straight stereotypes or even gay stereotypes.  You can just be you.  Live openly, get married and have your marriage announcement printed in the newspaper without going through the conduit of the local gay organization.  Not that there is anything wrong with gay organizations, but I think we should move forward to the day when wedding announcements like ours can be placed in the newspaper just like straight couples.  I think we should move forward to the day when we as gay men and women are fully integrated into the straight community around us to the time when a wedding announcement like ours that appeared in the newspaper today is no longer an anomaly but just a routine wedding announcement.

Happily married men

Next up, I attempt to have our wedding announcement placed in my hometown newspaper in Pennsylvania.  Now this is really going to be a challenge.  Pennsylvania is one of those states that has passed a law banning same sex marriages.  To place an ad in my former hometown newspaper in Pennsylvania I have to pay.  I will call next week when the woman who handles the ads returns from vacation.  This is going to be interesting because to place a wedding announcement in that newspaper, I will have to pay.  Let's see if the newspaper's economics (money) wins out over their reticence to offend their conservative readers.  Should be interesting folks and I will definitely keep you all posted.  As they say, "Stay tuned...."


Not us.



20 comments:

  1. Placing the ad(s) is an excellent idea! You have nothing to hide and we are all proud of you both. If some don't agree with your lifestyle, it is their problem, not yours. Way to go Ron and Bill!

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    1. Nadege,

      I would think that the Daily Local News in West Chester would publish our wedding announcement in their paper since I have to pay for it. But I'm not sure, they're pretty conservative and afraid up there. I'll call them Monday. This should prove interesting.

      Ron

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  2. A great photo on the wedding announcement and I like your tie! You and Bill represent what being gay is all about. Normal people in a serious relationship.

    I think a lot of straight (and gay) people are turned off by the ostentatious drag queens in the pink boas and ten-inch-high Joan Crawford "fuck" pumps (wow, excuse me for that). I've had a few beers today and I'm not my normal demure self......

    I'm sure Bill will be greatly relieved when all of the publicity diminishes. But for now - - ENJOY IT!!!

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    1. Jon,

      Thanks for the compliment on the tie! I know it's not politically correct to wear a flag tie but it was one day before the Fourth and that tie is one of my favorites. I have three variations of flag ties. Bill and I always fly the American flag at our home, not just on the Fourth and other patriotic holidays. We're proud to be Americans every day.

      About the drag queens......I don't want anyone to misunderstand me. I like drag as much as any gay guy (I don't dress in drag myself though, that's not me) burt I do think the gay community at times goes overboard. Drag isn't what we're all about. Of course the news media eats that up, every time they see a gay person dressed up outrageously and there are those in our community who are all too willing to feed into that gay stereotype. I asked a straight friend of mine who so no problem with outrageous drag in gay pride parades, how would she like to see straights depicted in the Rose Bowl parade as slutty hookers and pimps? I use the same argument, reverse the situation and then see if you have the same opinion.

      Oh yes, Bill will be greatly relieved when the publicity dies down. This last notice and possibly one more in my former hometown newspaper in Pennsylvania will be the last hurrah. I do want to inform my friends and family in Pennsylvania of our wedding plus, if I happen to offend a few (or more) Pennsylvania homophobes by our same sex wedding announcement, all the better. You understand. :)

      By the way, do you have an iPhone, iMac or iPad? If you do we could talk by FaceTime. It's really cool, it's just like you're there with the person. Perhaps you wouldn't feel so alone out there in the hot and windy flatlands of west Texas. I talk to a blogger friend in Arizona every Saturday, plus my brother in South Carolina, a friend in Pennsylvania and a good friend in northern Delaware by FaceTime. I could never go back to regular phones to talk to them. I'm spoiled now. You should think about it Jon. FaceTime doesn't cost anything. You only need the product.

      Thanks for your comments, always appreciated.

      By the way, all those people I mentioned I talked to on FaceTime except one (my friend in Arizona) are conservatives. We can still be friends even though we have differing political views. However, in the end I don't think we're all that different.

      Ron

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  3. I loves a happy ending :-)

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    1. the dog etc,

      Yes, ours is a happy ending. :)

      Ron

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  4. ought to be an interesting week next week; can't wait to see what happens!

    what a lovely announcement!

    and yeah, the people in your last photo are camping it up; to each his/her own. but in no way do they represent all my boyfriends.

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    1. Anne Marie,

      I understand camp and enjoy it.....sometimes. But I think we're long past the time where we gays have to shock the straight community with outrageous and offensive costumes to get their attention. These days I think those gays who feel the need to dress in outrageous drag every time they're out in public are doing it more for themselves and their self-indulgence than providing an example to the rest of the world that gays and lesbians are just like they are. How would you like to see the Rose Bowl parade only populated by women dressed as hookers and men dressed as street thugs? A little camp goes a long way. Here's a novel idea, how about a gay pride parade that has folks like you and me parading instead of the self-indulgent exhibitionists? Just saying.

      Ron

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    2. I second that emotion!

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    3. Anne Marie,

      You know me, I got some more "goodies" for next year's Bloggerama. Guess what? I'm all for camp and bling. That's fun. But I don't think the only representation of the gay culture should be what the media always focuses on during those gay pride parades. I was at the first gay march in Washington D.C. in 1979. 97 or 98% of the marchers were just like me, regular folk. But when I got home and saw the TV coverage, guess what? Of course the media only showed images of those few who were dressed outrageously, which I thought too was fun when I saw it in person, but unfortunately the media likes to portray stereotypes. I guess if we had a gay pride parade without any drag or leather queens they probably wouldn't cover it at all. Perhaps it's time to stop having parades and do the real work of integrating gays into the main culture. The value of the shock effect is wearing off. We got their attention.

      Ron

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    4. interesting idea there. the outrageous feeds the media beast; this is only 1 reason I don't watch tv. the average man on the street, not so much. and you found the word I was looking for - STEREOTYPES!

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  5. You'll be pleased to know that there recently has been a lawsuit filed challenging PA's marriage statute and yesterday the state attorney gen. here said she will not defend the PA statute against this lawsuit.
    Sort of a backhanded way to go about abolishing the law but at least it's progress, right?

    I'm sure the paper will print your announcement since the paper is in business to make money.

    Should make for some interesting letters to the editor in good old Downingtown tho....lol

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    1. slugmama,

      I read about the Pennsylvania attorney general's decision not to defend Pennsylvania's DOMA law. That's a step in the right direction. Eventually all these state passed and voter approved laws legitimizing discrimination against a class of people will eventually fall. Some may take longer than others, especially in the south and the far west like Wyoming and Utah, but they will fall.

      Ron

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. It's me again. Just to let you know that I don't have an iPhone, iMack, or iPad. I am hopelessly behind the times.
    Some day I plan to catch up with the 20th century - - or the 21st century, or whatever the heck century we are in. Gawd, I'm starting to feel archaic.....

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    1. Jon,

      Just tonight I had two requests to talk on FaceTime to two different blogger commenters. However, I don't know them as well as I know you. If and when you get an iMac, iPad (we have three iPads, three iPhones, one iMac and one MacBook Pro), let me know and we can talk by FaceTime. I think you'll find it very liberating and perhaps ease the discomfort of living where you do in west Texas. Once a week I talk to my friend in Arizona. He shows me via his iPhone the heat (120 last week) of his home and I show him the rain and greenery of southern Delaware. Using FaceTime really brings friends to life. I think you would enjoy it immensely.

      Ron

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  8. Pretty daggone awesome!!! (The wedding announcement!)

    I do NOT understand the idea that Pride Parades must be filled with people in underwear, etc. etc. etc. We all cry that we want to be viewed as normal, everyday people, like everyone else, yet as soon as someone says "Pride Parade", the clothes come off! PUH-LEASE!!! I'm not proud of being viewed as someone who wears underwear in public or anything like it. This just adds fuel to the haters' fires - the ones who call us "deviants". Fly rainbow flags, carry banners, ride in silly little cars wearing clown clothes, but for pete's sake, PUT YOUR PANTS ON! I'm not sure I can even handle the extravagant drag queens. Fine, in a club, not so much in public. MAKE US LOOK NORMAL! Not off in space somewhere!

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Jay,

      Remind me when I see you next April at the 2014 Bloggerama to give you a solid handshake. You verbalized exactly the way I reel about our gay brothers getting semi-naked and making fools out of themselves at the annual gay pride parades. I find the term "gay pride" an oxymoron when applied to a bunch of gay men either dressing like women or getting almost naked for a "parade." What's with that? I'm no prude nor am I one of those conservative right wing nuts but to me, I am embarrassed every time I see a man clad in nothing more than a leather jock strap parading in public as "gay pride." Even more so, men dressing as nuns with outrageous makeup. Where is the gay pride? I know I'm in the minority here in this opinion, but these folks don't represent my gay pride. They represent their own self indulgence and exhibitionism. Drag shows are for the tourists, why give the homophobes more ammunition by reinforcing their stereotypes of gay men and woman. Don't they realize that's what many of the uninformed straight people are most afraid of if their children are gay? That they would be one of those strutting, leather jock strap clad "leathermen." Yes, I'm saying the emperor has no clothes. Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of friends in the local gay community here in Rehoboth and Lewes. I don't subscribe to this theory of "gay pride.

      Ron

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  9. We're very happy for you and Bill. I also appreciated your comments about young gay people feeling free to just be themselves. If they feel they want to join established sub-communities (bears, leather queens, femmes, etc) that's fine too. But thanks to your example they also know there is no NEED to join a group to be out and gay. You can just be yourself. Congrats again.

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    1. Mark,

      Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you understand how I feel about everyone to be themselves. I think "camp" is all fine and well but I do think we (the LGBT community) sometimes feed into the stereotype that the media and homophobes. I seek to balance that.

      Ron

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