Friday, July 19, 2013

Hotsie Totsie

Rehoboth Beach Summer 2013

"Hotsie Totsie" - no, that's not me nor is it some eye candy that I happen to see during my comings and goings during the day.  "Hotsie Totsie" is how Bill refer to the weather when it is unbearably hot as it was and still is today.  

I'm telling you folks, I can't take this heat and humidity.  Our thermometer reached triple digits (100 degrees) today.  Temperatures like this just drain me.  If I'm out in it for more than 15 minutes I get dizzy.  I'm soaked with sweat. 

By the way, if any of you are wondering "What in the world is that banner Ron put on his blog?"  Well folks, look closer.  Look to the far right and you will see a young man sitting in a chair with a Sousaphone (no, it's not a tuba) wrapped around him.  That is yours truly in 1957 during a Downingtown High School concert band concert.  I was 15 years old at that time.  Hotsie Totsie.

Me - 1958

Yes, I was also in the marching band.  In fact, the three years I was in marching band were the some of the best three years of my life.  Not only did I get to go to all the football games (back when I was a big fan of football) but I formed a close friendship with Bill B., who was the bass drum player; a friend that I have until this day.

Me, far left on the back and my friend Bill B. far right with the bass drum - 1958
Not only did I make a good friend with Bill B., being a member of the marching band (and concert band) was wonderful for me because I was included.  Unlike many others who I hear don't go to their class reunions because they say they hated high school, that wasn't my experience.  I loved high school.  I was included.  How ironic that today I feel excluded from much of the local gay community.  But I won't go there again today.  I've done that in previous posts and I feel I'm belaboring a situation that will never change.  Too bad but that's the way it is.  

That's me in the plaid shirt - 1956 - yes, the girls liked me.  My friend Ruth Hall (the blonde to my left) thoughtfully placed this collage in her yearbook partly to kid me because I didn't have any girlfriends - do you think she knew?

It's not that I don't reach out. I do.  Just recently Bill and I met another couple at the Georgetown courthouse on July 1st when we applied for our marriage license.  I feel with hit it off right away with this other couple.  They were a bit younger than us but not kids.  After that day I sent Facebook friend requests.  One was accepted.  I sent messages invited them for dinner.  Heard nothing.  Silence.  Same thing I heard from the local gay organization when Bill and I got married.  My local state representative stopped by our house personally to wish us well.  And yet I didn't even receive one "like" from the folks at the local gay organization.  I heard later from one of the board members, he said they were "busy."  Uh...okay.  But here I am going of on another tangent.  Yes, it's hurtful.  I try not to let it bother me but their silence does. So rude, so selfish, so insular, so uncaring.  

As regular readers of this blog know, I don't always know where I'm going when I start a blog posting.  This one really veered off the Heat Wave course didn't it?  Well, the "Hotsie Totsie" metaphor should tie it all together don't you think? 

I don't mean to say I haven't made friends since we've moved to the Rehoboth Beach area seven years ago.  We have and I appreciate those friendships, I do.  All fine folks and they know who they are.  Thank you friends.

And this brings me back to why I blog.  I like to write and I like to make friends.  I like people.  That's one reason I choose a job as a hotel front desk agent.  I get to meet a lot of people, nice people and get paid at the same time.  But as I said before, I found since moving to Delaware, I didn't make many friends in the local gay community for whatever reason.  Maybe it was me but hey, I am what I am.  I don't change myself to suit someone else.  That's not me.  So I thought to myself, "How about all those folks outside my little bubble here in Gayberry, DE?"  So I've been blogging since 2007 and I have made a LOT of friends in the blogosphere.  THANKS!  A LOT of really nice folks who accept me just as I am just as I accept them just as they are.

Top photo, last row,  6th from left - tallest guy with the mop of hair - oh did I ever have a lot of hair back in 1957

So what was I talking about?  Oh, "Hotsie Totsie". Is it hot where you are?

Downingtown High School Class of 1959 - 1957

By the way, how bad is this?  I still remember the names of everyone in this photo of our sophomore class.

Downingtown High School Class of 1959 - Reunion 2012 (I'm in the back again fifth from left with the tree growing out of my head) - no crinoline skirts in this photo - the woman in the blue sitting second from the right is the same girl in the 1957 picture sixth from the right) - the woman in the black vest standing in the middle is the same as the girl in the 1957 photo fifth from the left front row with the VEST!  Mary Jane, you haven't changed your style!


anne marie in philly said...

97F today, 108F heat index. I can't breathe. all the delivery guys that came to my office were drenched; we give them ice water and bathroom breaks and a chance to cool off.

"I've been blogging since 2012 and I have made a LOT of friends in the blogosphere. THANKS! A LOT of really nice folks who accept me just as I am and I accept them just as they are." - this is how I feel about my boyfriends! :)

I didn't have any friends in high school; nothing but bullies. so why go back? :(

Bob said...

I say 'Hotter'n'shit.

Ron said...

You got that right Bob! This heat is really getting to me. I can see where old folks like me die from it.

Amanda said...

We had a high of 72 F today and a low of 63F; I live on the coast but it is in the 90's in the valleys. It is not humid and I am grateful for that as we are so used to dry heat in the desert. We've had few days of high humidity but nothing like it gets back East. August is more humid because of the monsoon weather coming up from Mexico (it is not really monsoon but it is what the weatherman calls it). Once in a while, we also get a pineapple express disturbance coming from Hawaii but that is more during winter, early spring.
My son was in the marching band (symphony and concert band too) so I can relate to your story. He loved being part of the band. Really nice kids and very nice parents too.
I had friends growing up but I lost touch. Less friends as I got older but our friendship is deeper, more meaningful. I couldn't careless about snobby clicks.

Ron said...

Anne Marie,

I understand that not everyone had a good experience in school. Bill would never go back either. I had a couple of bullies but I took care of them and that ended that. I was lucky that I had a lot of friends in high school but I didn't think that was all that unusual at the time. Now, that I'm finding it hard to make friends with the local gay community ("friends", not bedmates which seems to be what too many of them want) ironic. I would think I would have an easier time making friends now but maybe this is something unique to this GBLT community in the Rehoboth area. Most of them are much better off financially than I am and more college education. I'm probably not in the same social strata. Oh well. I'm sorry your school years weren't happier for you but I can understand your feelings about them now. Why go back?


Ron said...


I think you've helped me understand something about friends. Many of my friends that I had while growing up I have lost touch with. Some have died (actually, quite a few) and some have just moved away and I've lost touch. However, I have been very lucky to stay in touch with several very good friends over the years. You said "Less friends as I got older but our friendship is deeper, more meaningful." That's also true for me so many I'm just expecting too much from the folks down here. I have to admit I really don't have a lot (or much) in common with them. But I do know they are snobby and cliquish, I've witnessed and experienced it so many times. I shouldn't let it bother me and I'm working on that. I am glad though that I have made so many friends (like you) through my blogging. All of you have enriched my life and made me happy and I thank you for that. We all want to be liked.

This weather, unbearable. I hope it breaks soon.

I LOVED being in the marching and concert bands. Mr. Ifert, the bandmaster and music teacher, asked me one summer if I wanted to learn how to play the Sousaphone. That came out of nowhere and I was so surprised he asked me. I'm glad he did because he gave me the opportunity to become part of a large thing other than just attending high school. I LOVED those years I was in band. It made my high school years and resulted in one life long lasting friendship with Bill B., who I have to call soon.


Jon said...

It's fantastic that you're still in touch with people from your school days. I'm still close to a few people I went to high school with, but that's it. We moved around too often when I was young. I never really had roots and to this day I still feel like a wandering gypsy. It's not exactly a good feeling.....I liked high school but I was over two years younger than everyone in my class. I never dated or went to proms. I was a genuine nerd.

West TX just had three days of rain, but the heat is gradually returning and next week it will be in the 100's again. The heat here usually lingers until the end of October.

Ron said...


Every year we have a class reunion. I keep track of everyone. Sadly, a few more pass each year. I wonder who will keep track when I pass on which will happen eventually except if I'm the last one standing.

I was lucky that I stayed in the same school system and with many of the same classmates for my entire 12 years of schooling I think that makes a difference in your school experience. Were you ever in band or played a musical instrument other than the piano?

We got the heat here and the crowds going to the beach. This year is the worst ever for the heat and the crowds. Looking forward to fall when they go home.


Ur-spo said...

what a marvelous expression !

Ron said...

I think I picked up this expression from Bill. We've used it for years.

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