Monday, June 03, 2013

Time To Myself

Bill get his ride to the Wilmington VAMC


Just got back from dropping Bill off at Rt. 5 and 1 for him to catch his ride for his appointment at the Wilmington VAMC.  The local American Legion Post offers free rides (small donations accepted) for us old vets so we don't have to make the 89 mile one way trip ourselves.

You know what this means don't you folks?  This means I have the WHOLE MORNING TO MYSELF.  Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Bill to death but I'm telling you, it is NICE to have some time to myself.  

I've probably written about this before and at the risk of belaboring the subject, I'll write about it again.  Oh, don't worry about Bill.  He says he doesn't read my blog anyway.  And besides, if he did he already knows how I feel about having a precious few hours by myself. 

For you see folks, when Bill retired at age 55 in 1980 (yes, it was that LONG ago), he has almost always stayed home.  Bill is a domesticated creature.  He may complain about he doesn't like our home in Delaware but that's where you'll almost find him.  Yes, for the last thirty-three years Bill has been a stay-at-home partner (or whatever the term de jour for the other half of a gay relationship is these days).  Not that I'm complaining.  After Bill and I moved into our new house in Pennsylvania in 1980, I suggested that he quit his job and just stay at home and take care of the "estate" (as we tongue in cheek called our little gay abode).  For you see folks, at that time I made enough money for the BOTH of us.  But, you know how those things work out.  A few years later I lost my job and we began on our Journey of Survival or shall I say My Journey of Survival.

I've never regretted my suggestion to Bill to stay at home.  He is very handy around the house plus we never had to worry about being robbed.  That was the main reason I asked Bill to quit his job.  However the only thing I didn't bargain for was that Bill would be at home ALL THE TIME.  Yep folks, he's always here.  

I come home from a long, hard, stressful day at work.  The last thing I want to hear and deal with is some needy person.  Not going to happen.  Bill wants to hear about my day.  He has a thousand questions to ask me.  My day continues unabated.

Over the years I have adjusted to this different non-stop "needy" lifestyle.  Again, don't get me wrong.  I love Bill to death but sometimes, just SOMETIMES, I want to be alone.  No questions, no "where are you going now?", no nothing.  

So this morning I'm going to enjoy the next three plus hours of total quiet and NO QUESTIONS.    That is until around 12 o'clock when Bill will call from his cell phone to pick him up at the liquor store at Rts. 1 and 5 (about three miles up the road).  Ah yes, total quiet and just doing whatever the hell I want to without having to explain myself.  NICE.


15 comments:

  1. well, don't do anything I wouldn't do this morning! (wink wink nudge nudge)

    but yeah, I too like my "alone time". to be by oneself in quiet helps me to balance out. I have always said I have 2 jobs: my 9-5 job (for which I get paid) and my "home" job (for which I do not).

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    1. As I've said many times before Anne Marie, I love Bill and love my life with him but sometimes, just sometimes I do like time to myself. Rarely happens. Although I must say Bill does try to stay out of my way at times. But he is always here. And I always have to explain what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, and what I will do. He can't help himself. It is so nice just to "do" without having to explain to someone what I'm doing.

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  2. There's nothing wrong with a little solitude sometimes.

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    1. Sean,

      I don't know how you do it. I don't think you ever have time alone do you?

      Ron

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    2. It can be very difficult for us at times. Neither of us are ones to play twenty questions with each other.

      Our biggest problem right now is all the kid drama. This is magnified by having a kid with Aspergers who can hear conversations across the house. (We love the kid, but it means that he's a control-freak who can hear everything.) The phrase, "You're not part of this conversation!" echoes through the house fairly often.

      Eventually we'll have a few rooms finished in the basement, one of which will be an office, with a door. We're going to have to do this piecemeal as money and time are available.

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    3. Everyone needs a space and time to themselves for their mental health.

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  3. Carlos loves having me around, but I'm like you, I like a little 'Me' time.

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    1. Bob,

      You understand. I would not to like to live by myself but there are times I just want to be alone. No explanations, no drama, no nothing. I rarely get that. this morning is a treat.

      Ron

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  4. Ron, I can sympathize. I have a husband and two daughters. I insist that they tell me where they are and when they will be home. And, as you can imagine, they do the same for me. Sometimes I want to say LEAVE ME ALONE.
    I LOVE having time home alone. When everyone is out and busy I can do whatever I want - go where ever I want- see whomever I want. I live my family. But I love my alone time. So, you are not alone!!

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    1. Thank you Karen! You understand. LEAVE ME ALONE. Like you, I love my family (Bill) but I also love my time alone. I think it is good for our mental health. We can't always be "on."

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  5. Ron,

    Things have not been well, I wish I could get some alone time.

    Lar

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    1. Lar,

      I'm sorry to hear that. I tried to call you today. Tomorrow I'm working. I'll try and call tomorrow evening.

      Ron

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    2. Ron,

      Denials and threats and irrational thinking.

      Lar

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  6. I am fairly certain one reason my partner doesn't care to travel with me to medical conferences is he likes the notion of being alone. I like that kind of time too. Like Bill, Someone is always at home, he doesn't travel or go out much on his own. So I don't have much downtime either. When it happens it is rawther lovely.

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  7. Dr. Spo,

    "Rawther", I don't remember who said it (could of been Basil Rathbone) but I always felt a warm chuckle gurgling up within me whenever I hear this term.

    You're right, downtime is lovely. On those rare occasions that I have that time, I flourish.

    Ron

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