Friday, April 05, 2013

Prostate Procedure Update




Spoiler alert folks!  A boring post here but I want to bring those who were following my prostate situation up to date.

On this gray, rainy, cold April morning I arrived at my urology doctor's office in Lewes for my 9:00 am appointment with my urologist, who shall remain unnamed.  

I filled  out the usual forms again like I always do when I have an office visit with my urologist.  It's a three page form which covers everything from suicidal thoughts to how many times do I get up at night to pee.  A wide range there folks. Well, I'm not suicidal (yet) and I rarely get up at night to pee but I do have to go like a racehorse when I get up in the morning.  And yes, I have a "steady stream."  TMI?  Hey folks, I gave you a spoiler alert at the beginning of this posting. You have no one to blame but yourself if pellets of sweat start draining down your forehead as you read "The Further Adventures of Ron In Prostate Land."  

"I don't think we're at Bloggerpalooza Toto!"

After playing with my iPhone (checking Facebook) I was called in to have my blood pressure taken.  123 over 70.  She said it was "good."  Okay, I'll take her word for it.

Then I was put into one of those little waiting rooms to wait for my doctor.

I did manage to take a couple of goofy pictures of myself while I was waiting for the good doctor.  I didn't have to wait to long before my doctor bounded in the room.  

He wanted the name of the pharmacy where I get my prescriptions.  I told him I use the VA.  He gave me that now standard quizzical look that I get when I tell doctors that I use the VA for my pharmacy needs.  This is what happens when one veers from the usual routine that doctors are used to.  I whipped out my paper that gives him instructions how to fax the information to the VA. My "last four", the reason for the prescription and what the prescription is.  The VA is very efficient in filling prescriptions.....and cheap.  Sorry Rite Aid.  Of course I've given this paper to this medical establishment every time they have asked but no matter, I now expect to give multiple copies whenever I'm in the Medical Treadmill.  Fact of life.

Only I won't be wearing this nifty aqua outfit 

He leaves with my VA prescription instruction paper then returns shortly.  He tells me that they don't have a time set for my seed implants but the date is May 2nd in the morning.  They will contact me later with the time a "slot" is open.  Apparently this is similar to scheduling a colonoscopy, they set up several patients at once and then roll them down the assembly line, albeit with their legs in stirrups vertical and knocked out.  

He also went over the "no aspirin two weeks before the procedure", "Fleet enema night before surgery" (I'm getting quite proficient at giving myself an enema by now), "no food after 12 midnight the night before surgery and no breakfast the morning of the surgery" (darn! I was so looking forward to having blueberry waffles smothered in real maple syrup that morning, maybe a side of good crisp scrapple slathered in ketchup).  

Won't be eating this for breakfast Day of the Implants

I asked to take his picture for my iPhone Address book and I got the usual response that I get from all my doctors - no smiling and hurried.  Oh well.  He was the last doctor whose picture I didn't have. 



So I'm set to go folks.  Next blog post much more interesting.  


15 comments:

  1. that stirrup position looks damn painful. my nether regions cringed for you. :(

    on a positive note, your picture looks positively happy! as does the blueberry pancakes (hold the scrapple please).

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    1. Anne Marie,

      That is exactly the stirrup position they put me in. I'm wondering "why don't they just put rope around my ankles and hang me from the ceiling.?"

      Ron

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    2. cause then you could sue for malpractice? cause that would be too kinky? ;-)

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  2. At least I know what I am sure I'll be going through when my time comes.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Jay,

      Hopefully your time never comes. The biopsy procedure is the worst. At least they put me out for the seed implant. For the biopsy I was wide awake while they took twelve mini-chunks of live flesh out of my prostate gland with a caulking gun. That is an experience you DON'T want to go through.

      Ron

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  3. Ron, 123/70? You have the blood pressure of a teenager.

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    1. Geo.,

      I've always had good blood pressure readings. Probably because my weight is the still the same as it was when I graduated from high school in 1959.

      Ron

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  4. I admire your strength and sense of calm. My offer of assistance is still valid.

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    1. Mark,

      Thank you so much for your offer of assistance. This is just something I have to get through. Hopefully once I'm done I can restart my life. This whole prostate thing has been hanging over my head for the past year. I just want it done.

      Ron

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  5. I always appreciate the updates because it's a learning experience. The picture of those stirrups is a little unnerving, however. I haven't been sedated and in stirrups since I lived in Hollywood.....(I'm joking....maybe.....)

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    1. Jon,

      You made me laugh this morning. Thanks for that. By the way, this is exactly how the stirrups are when I undergo my procedure. They used the same one last month when they did the "volume" check. I thought the other stirrups were bad when I had my biopsy (an awful procedure by the way). I just hope no one is snapping smart phone pictures next month when I'm under. Those pictures get on the Internet and my reputation is ruined.....maybe.

      Ron

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  6. I was prepared to skip some of this (queasiness being just one of my failings) but managed to get through it. Whether the same can be managed for future instalments seems doubtful, but we're all with you in spirit, Ron - and I appreciate how much more stressful it must be to have to actually experience what you describe. May luck and all the rest be with you.

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    1. Ray,

      See that contraption I have to be in to have my procedure done? That is no funny exaggeration, that is exactly how it looks and exactly the position I will be in for my procedure. My only consolation is that this time I will be unconscious while I'm fully exposed to the world and they're having their way with me. One leaves one's modesty at the door during one of these procedures.

      Ron

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  7. as I am probably destined to have this done, I am very interested in the step by step process and no amount of information is 'TMI". Of course, being a physician, I am quite used to people's intimate matters especially their GU/GI system.

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    1. Dr. Spo,

      Hopefully you will be spared this inconvenient, uncomfortable and humiliating procedure. I did leave out a few pertinent pieces of information on my post. Needles will be stuck in my scrotum during the procedure to implant the seeds. He told me to expect blood in my urine for several weeks and also a burning sensation when I urinate. He said eventually those two conditions will disappear. Also, after the procedure my urologist told me I would have to have a PSA test every six months for the rest of my life to monitor the progress or lack of progress of the prostate cancer. This operation isn't the cure all, removal of the prostate is the "cure all" procedure but I elected not to have that done because of the potential disastrous side effects while could affect my quality of life for my remaining years. If I can get another 10 to 15 years or reasonable life quality I'll be happy.

      Ron

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