Monday, March 18, 2013

Death in the Family

My cousin Randy - 1948 - 2013

Yesterday my cousin Elaine called me to inform me of the unexpected death of her brother Randy.  

I only met Randy once, and that was when I took my Mother to visit his mother (my Mother's sister) at Simpson Meadows in Downingtown.  

Randy was seven years younger than me so we never knew each other growing up.  I knew his older brother and sister who were nearer my age.

However, whenI met Randy in October of 2004 at Simpson Meadows, I knew we clicked immediately.  He cared for his Mother the same way I cared for my Mom.  We both knew we were among the fortunate few to have such wonderful Mothers.  Which is an irony, because my Mother and Aunt Jeanette's mother died when they were both young.  And yet, they both were such wonderful Mothers.


Randy with his Mom (and my Aunt) - 2004

After we visited our Mothers, Randy and I went to lunch.  As it is with someone you click with, we had no lack of conversation.  

After lunch that day I made a mental note that I had to stay in touch with Randy more often.  But you know how it is when life interferes.  Even though we exchanged Christmas cards every year, I never did see Randy again.  

Then I got the call yesterday from Elaine telling me her brother died unexpectedly.  Elaine (one of my very favorite cousins) and I talked about an hour about everything.  She was in shock and I was too.  Just this morning the enormity of this loss has finally begun to sink in.  

Lately I've been thinking of posting the many photos I have of me with family members and friends who are no longer here.  However, I dismissed that notion as to depressing.  But after this latest loss, I just may do that.  This blog is my therapy and I have to be honest with you, I am pretty well down in the dumps now over this latest loss.  It is sort of overwhelming.  I just can't imagine what his family is going through now.  Sad times again.  


Randy, his Mom and me October 2004 in happier times - both gone now

22 comments:

  1. My condolences for your loss, Ron :-(

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    1. Thank you Sean. He was a real gentleman and will be missed by many.

      Ron

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  2. Anonymous12:27 PM

    Hi Ron,

    So sorry to hear about your cousin Randy. It's amazing how much you two look alike.

    I want to thank you for the lovely spring picture you posted. It's such a grey day here that it made my day.

    I hope you are feeling better following your procedure. My relative that had the hormones for his cancer of the prostate is suffering with the same side effects you mentioned the man you met had. He said they make you feel miserable.

    Take care,
    Fran

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    1. Fran,

      I felt like just posting a nice spring time picture since spring is delayed here. I took that picture when I lived in Pennsylvania on Struble Trail, during one of my morning walks. I have hundreds of pictures of Struble Trail and the Brandywine Creek. I always feel good when I see them.

      I am better now that I've chosen a procedure. All the reports are that I'm in excellent hands with my urologist and oncologist. I am so glad I didn't have to go through hormone therapy. Thank God for small favors. I got a break, finally.

      Have a great day Fran.

      Ron

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  3. So sorry for your loss.

    Peace

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  4. my sympathies on your loss. such a handsome guy; love the blue eyes. and only 65; makes ya stop and think.

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    1. Anne Marie,

      You would have loved Randy. He was a real sweetheart. Tall, good-looking, gentle yet masculine and take charge. All the characteristics that I love in a man. He was a wonderful family man. I feel so bad for his family. Yes, a sudden loss like this does make you stop and think. That's why I pull out all the stops in something like Bloggerpalooza this weekend. Bill says I'm "living my second childhood" by the things I'm planning for Bloggerpalooza. I say "you only live once!" I don't care how old I am, I will always be young at heart. Laughter is the best medicine. Too soon we're gone. Make every day count.

      Ron

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    2. and you tell bill there ain't nothin' like lettin' your hair down and havin' a rip-roarin' shoutin' dancin' screamin' good time! :)

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  5. How sad. I know when we lose anyone in the family, even those we haven't seen in a long time, we all hurt. The physical connections may not be more than a yearly Christmas card, but the family ties are always there.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Jay,

      Thank you Jay. Randy was one of the Good Guys. I will miss his gentleness.

      Ron

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  6. Ron,

    Sorry about your latest loss.

    Lar

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    1. Lar,

      Randy was one of the good guys. You would have liked him. There are so many people from different phases of my life that I wish I could have introduced to each other. Now that opportunity is lost with Randy. Maybe we can all get together in the hereafter.

      Ron

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  7. Sincere condolences, Ron.

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    1. Thank you Geo. Randy's death is hitting me particularly hard. Even though I didn't know him that well he is one of those people I felt instant simpatico with. I wish we could have been closer all our lives. I feel so bad for his family. They have lost their rock.

      Ron

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  8. Mere words are never much of a comfort in times of grief, but I am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin Randy. He seemed like such a good and caring person and he died at a relatively young age.

    I can strongly identify with the feelings of emptiness at seeing a large family dwindle. I used to have so many relatives and nearly all of them are gone now. The only ones left are me and my cousins. We were all the youngsters once, and now we're the old generation.

    You always post such wonderful photos. I love old photos - - they unleash a flood of memories....

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    1. Thank you Jon. When I see so many die around me, especially these last three years, I am again reminded of my own mortality. Not that I am afraid of dying, in a way it will be a release for me because in many ways I am tired. This sounds awful but sometimes I am just tired of living. Bill often says the same thing. We actually live for one another. If Bill should go before I do, I don't see much purpose to go on nor does he if the situation were reversed. But you never know how you're going to act until it actually happens. In the meantime I make the most of every day, in spite of the increasing obstacles thrown in my way.

      I too love old photos. I have so many of them to post. I hope I have enough time left to do so.

      Have a great day Jon!

      Ron

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  9. The last picture you posted with the three of you sitting on the couch is so wonderful. Maybe it is how you are sitting, but your lower legs look much longer than Randy's, yet Randy's torso looks longer and he is sitting taller. I would like to see the two of you standing side by side to see which is taller! The three of you are all smiling, and I don't think you just said "cheese"!

    Your cousin, Randy, was so young to have already passed. Somehow that makes us older folk feel all the more fortunate. Like you, Ron, who is going to live to be a centenarian!

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    1. David,

      Actually this photo is a little misleading. I'm sitting back on the couch whereas Randy is sitting forward. However, I am about two inches taller than Randy and I do have long legs, very long legs. Bill said that's what attracted him to me at first, my long legs. Who would've thunk? I thought it was my sparkling personality.

      I feel so bad for Randy's family. Of course Randy doesn't know anything now because he's gone, that's what is good about dying, you don't know anything. But Randy was a sweet and gentle man who had a lovely family. This loss must be devastating for them.

      Ron

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    2. "I thought it was my sparkling personality." - bwhahahahaha! smooches! :)

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  10. sad news, indeed.

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    1. Dr. Spo,

      Just another reminder to live each day to the fullest because we never know when our time is at an end.

      Ron

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