Sunday, January 13, 2013

"Shame"



Last year while watching the Oscars I heard about Michael Fassbender for the first time. I heard he was in this movie called "Shame" and his full frontal nudity was quite something to see.  So of course when "Shame" came out on DVD I just HAD TO SEE what all the FUSS was about.

Well folks, Mr. Fassbender is QUITE something to see full frontal nudity.  As a matter of fact, he even had all his pubic hairs intact which was quite unusual in these days of male porn stars who are shaved down to their baby skin.  Yes indeed, Mr. Fassbender has nothing to be aSHAMED of in that area.

But here's the nub (no pun intended) of this blog posting.  I'm reviewing the movie.  




I found this movie very disturbing.  It is about sexual addiction.  Thank God I was and am not addicted to sex but I know people who are.  I know people my age who are still out trolling for anonymous sex with ANYBODY just to get that fix.  I've always found them disturbing.  To waste one's whole life for an orgasm.  I just don't get it.  But then I never got the whole alcoholic or drug addiction thing either.  I prefer to have control over my life.  Not that I'm perfect.  God knows (and my friends too) that I'm not perfect.  I have my share of faults (of which I will not go into in this forum thank you).  But sexual addiction isn't one of them.




This movie; visually it is very well done.  So many evocative (whatever that means) images.  So many sad images.  So much sadness.  So depressing.  But maybe that was the intent of this movie to show how unfulfilling and destructive sexual addiction is.  When this movie ended I was thoroughly depressed.  I even forgot all about seeing Mr. Fassbender's ample "asset" (imagine that).  

Can I recommend this movie to you?  Only if you want a glimpse into the Dark Side.  There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this movie, nothing.  Yes, the visual images are wonderful.  The production values are near perfect.  But what was the message?  Maybe it was to implant in my mind how destructive any kind of addiction is, especially sexual addiction.  



21 comments:

  1. actually, ron, this movie had a very powerful message for me. in depicting obsessive, casual sex, i seemed to be showing me how underneath the compulsion, underneath the addictive behavior, was a raging desire to CONNECT with someone. unfortunately, for the addict, and certainly for this character, connecting was not a skill he had learned--ever. what i loved about this movie is that we were left to guess why this did not happen--the movie did not judge or make a statement on this, it simply "showed" us what happens. in my head, i see his problem as partly societal--living in a city where casual sex is so easily found, but connection is considered "unnecessary". the gay "community" has had this problem for years--and continues to in this age of "grindr". too bad. sex is great--but even better with a connection.

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    1. Tony,
      Thank you for your comment. Your comments give me a new perspective on this movie. I was trying to figure out why this movie so disturbed me and now I think I know. When I became sexually active I was always more interested in a relationship (the romantic side) than the physical. I always thought I was missing something in my makeup because I wasn't out trolling for quantitive, anonymous sex. That never satisfied me. I was always more turned on to just being with somebody and sharing time with them than the (excuse the term) "assholes and elbows" of having sex with another man. Friends used to mock me when I went to Provincetown and didn't join the sexual carnival. Believe it or not I went for the scenery and the camaraderie. I didn't go to rack up notches on my sexual holster. Of course I thought I was "missing out" but I just couldn't get into that scene. Of course now most of those guys who used to make fun of me for not taking advantage of the smorgasbord are now dead from HIV related causes.

      Even though I lived only a short distance from New York City I never once went to the gay scene, although friends urged me to do so. I'm no prude and I get turned on just like anyone else but I think it is much sexier to spend time with a sexy guy, holding hands, touching his shoulder, and even maybe a kiss (light, no tongue). Men turn me on sexually and emotionally but the grunting and huffing and puffing and sweat of having sex, I guess it's my Quaker (mother's side) genes at work.

      Thanks again for your comment Tony. Always appreciated.

      Ron

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    2. Ron: "That scene" terrified me when I was a youngster in the late 80s / early 90s. (It still does.)

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    3. Sean,

      It should, too many Std's out there.

      Ron

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  2. I've never heard of Fassbender or "Shame" but it's a subject with which I can strongly identify. I don't have much to add to the previous apt observations. I will say, however, that sexual addiction is the direct result of extremely complicated underlying emotional problems. Insecurities, a desperate need for reassurance, escapism from reality. Also narcissism.

    My wild youthful days in Hollywood were based on sexual addiction. There's no possible way that I could put it in my blog - - because it would be far too shocking, and most people couldn't identify with it or even believe it. Perhaps I should put my exploits into a book.....

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    1. Jon,

      I know this condition is complicated. I for one have too much self respect for myself to do this to myself or anyone else. Not that I am passing judgments. Everyone has to deal with their own unique set of demons. I have had times of self-loathing but never this bad, thank God. And I've done some things also that would shock my blog readers which I will never mention on this blog, thank you.

      Ron

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  3. if you re-watch that last difficult scene where he is screwing the daylights out of the woman, you can see on his face that what he is doing is barely working for him anymore. and yet he persists. how long does it take any of us to realize that what we have been doing for so long does not work anymore? in this case there are two main choices: force oneself to continue the old behavior, at any cost; or figure out a new behavior. not easy to do. that is why i love being a therapist, as i get to help others figure out this process. :-)

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    1. Tony,

      Oh, I couldn't re-watch this movie. I don't want to go down that hole again.

      Ron

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  4. We have a friend who fist this profile, and Tony's right. Our friend is looking for a connection but he's not looking in the right places. Where he looks the "connection" lasts about twenty minutes and then the sadness sets in again.

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    1. Bob

      I think we all know someone like this person. Of course my "friend" would never consider a serious relationship, he's too selfish for that. But he's out there 24/7 trolling for dick.

      Ron

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  5. I'll start looking for this film. I'd like to see it.

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  6. Netflix Cubby. Netflix.

    Ron

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  7. I deal enough with sex addicts as it is; give me a movie with mindless comic dribble.

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    1. Dr. Spo,


      As I said, I know people like this. They're sick sonofabitches.

      Ron

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  8. I liked this film - a lot! While I'd second most of what you say I think it all comes down to what one expects a film to do. This one, rather than being 'entertaining', subverts that idea and raises more questions without really answering any, though when I came out of the cinema afterwards I don't think I felt any of the depression you experienced - more like being offered 'food for thought'.

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    1. Raybeard,

      "Food for thought", indeed. When this movie ended my first thought was "What was THAT?" I'm still wondering.

      Ron

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  9. I might see it, just because you posted about it otherwise I might not have.

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    1. Nadege,

      "Shame"is an interesting movie. As a someone commented, it gives one "food for thought." If nothing else, it will make you feel good because you can say "I'm glad I'm not like that!"

      Ron

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    2. Let me know what you thin Nadege when you see it. I would be interested in your opinion. This was a very strange and disturbing movie for me.

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  10. I'm probably going to pass on this one Ron. I have enough dark and disturbing things running through my head without extra help.

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    1. Good decision Sean. This is one depressing movie. I felt I had to take a shower after I watched this movie.

      Ron

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