|The "Black Dog"|
Yep, he's back. The Black Dog has arrived at my doorstep again. I don't know what brought him here this time. Today was a beautiful fall day. Bill and I aren't fighting. My mortgage is paid off. No one is sick in my immediate family. I just had a wonderful week of vacation. But the Black Dog is back.
How do I know? I know because the usual things I find interesting and do aren't holding my interest now. Normally I can sit at my computer for hours updating photos of cemetery headstones to my Find a Grave account. I've been doing that today but it is boring me.
|Shadow of me at St. Peter's Episcopal Church Cemetery Lewes, DE|
When I am sitting at my computer updating my Find a Grave account, reading other blogs, or just catching up on my e-mail I usually have the TV on at the same time listening to previously recorded show on THAT liberal station MSNBC. I can listen to Rachel, Chris, Ed, Reverend Al and Lawrence for hours on end and never get bored or anxious. I'm bored and anxious now.
Maybe it's because of a foreboding that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan might actually be elected president and vice president. Maybe it's the knowledge that there are enough stupid people or "low information voters" in this country that they will actually believe their lies and vote against their own interests. Maybe that's why I'm depressed.
Maybe it's because I have found the gay community in the Rehoboth/Lewes/Milton area wide but shallow. I've lived here for six years now and the only true friends I've made are straight. Seems the gays I meet either want to have a relationship or they just aren't interested in having an old gay man as a friend. Of course I've always had trouble making "just friends" with gay men. Almost all gay men I've met think if you're friendly with them it means sex. I've always had that problem with making gay friends. So be it. I actually would rather be alone tonight instead of attending a drag show where yet another female impersonator is doing Judy or Liza. God, can't they come up with someone different?
When I used to vacation in Provincetown in the Eighties the female impersonators were doing Judy and Liza. And what's with the female impersonators anyway? Haven't we moved past THAT gay community? Oh I understand the straight tourists like the show but isn't this a like having black people do a minstrel show for the white folk? But I digress.
|Lovely, just lovely|
Maybe it's because of my never ending visits to doctors and dermatologists. I would like to get off of that treadmill. I'm turning into my parents at the end of their life for Christ's sake.
Whatever it is, I hope this dark cloud passes over my head soon. I think I'll watch a couple episodes of "Six Feet Under." That crew always lifts my spirits.