|Our home is the corner lot facing Fleming Drive and Whitehall drive to the front - big back yard no pool...yet!|
Yesterday I posted about making the Big Change in my life. I went from making Big Bucks at a big city bank to working party-time as a hotel front desk clerk. Bill and I had a big house in the country. I had the job title. I also had the stress of a daily commute and a high responsibility job. I got up at 4:30 a.m. in the morning to be to catch the 6:02 a.m. train in the morning to my job in Philadelphia. It was all I could do to catch the 5:32 p.m. train out of Philadelphia at night to arrive home at about 7:00 pm at night. More often than not I caught a later, local train which got me home at 8 or 9 at night. I showered, at a late dinner and went to bed just to get up in the morning and do it all over again the next day. I was living Ground Hog Day.
|Downingtown Train Station - Downingtown, PA - I spent many a day standing on this platform in the cold|
That was my schedule for many years. It was killing me. I was depressed. I was suicidal. I was trapped.
Then one day, standing on the hot and dirty train platform below ground level at Suburban Station in Philadelphia, waiting for the conductor to open the cars so I could get in, I thought to myself "Do I want to do this until I retire at 65 years of age?" Then and there I decided "NO." Thus began my long journey to realize my lifetime dream of Living Near the Water.
|Casa Tipton-Kelly - our home in Delaware|
The ariel view map at the top of this post is where I live now. I live in a Ryan Homes development called Covington Chase. I live three miles north of Lewes, Delaware and six miles north of Rehoboth Beach. I live on the east side of Route One (also called the Coastal Highway). I live two miles from the Delaware Bay. I don't live "on the water" because:
- Too expensive
- Bill doesn't want to live THAT close to water
Thus a good compromise. I work at a hotel in Lewes which is "right on the water", the Rehoboth-Lewes Canal thus I get my Water Fix.
|Lewes-Rehoboth Canal - where I work|
I live in a beautiful well maintained development with the best neighbors in the world. Of course I realize the neighbors one has is always a crap shoot (we had the WORST neighbors in Pennsylvania). Here we got lucky. Ironically, even though I moved to a heavily gay populated area, my best neighbors are straight. Just goes to show you. People who I thought were my gay friends have left me down (or I let them down, depends on your point of view I guess). The gay people I met who I thought would be friends turned out not to be friends. True friends accept you as you are, not the way they want you to be. And I especially have a problem because I don't let myself be controlled by anybody and I certainly don't kiss anyone's ass, and that attitude has proven to exclude me from forming any gay friendships but I always hold out hope. I've met some other gay folks who seem nice enough but they are in a clique to which I do not belong. I have friends from my Previous Life, who are wonderful people. They are also straight. I find that having gays as friends requires a lot of extra baggage and attitude that I just don't need at this time of my life. Having only straight friends isn't that bad. :)
|One of my many failed attempts to make friends with another gay person here in Delaware - I'm just not a good fit - maybe I should be bald and have a tuft of white hair to fit in|
So this is my/our life now. I have Bill and he has me. I have a good job with friends at work as well as wonderful neighbors as I mentioned before. I am living "near the water" in a mild climate. I am not crowded (I get claustrophobic easily) with wide open spaces and a big sky. My health is still relatively good even though I have the possibility that something will eventually bring me down whether it be prostate cancer or just plain skin cancer. I take one day at a time and treasure each day.
Ironically, one of the main reasons I moved to Delaware other than to escape the high taxes of Pennsylvania was for a support group of my gay brothers and sisters. I had a long-time friend who has been living in Delaware since the Seventies. He has dementia now and I don't get along with his selfish and self-absorbed partner so that friendship is dormant at best. Other gay friendships have failed to develop either because someone doesn't like what I say in my blog or because I didn't provide a home for them when they were homeless. These are the same people who tried to control me, which as I said before I do not bow to anyone except maybe Bill, and even then that's sometimes a problem. This perhaps has been my biggest disappointment in moving to Delaware. Whether it's my fault or their fault of a combination of both, I don't know. All I know is that the lake may be wide but it is shallow. Something I hadn't counted on.
|The retention pond at the end of our development. Lots of water, about a inch deep. A perfect metaphor for my Delaware gay friendships.|
So that's where I am today folks. It could all change in a heartbeat but for the time being I'm making the most of each day. And I'm smiling.
|A man in charge of his own destiny - and smiling|