Okay folks, you asked for it! Actually you didn't but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Here is Ron's Take on the Oscar Fashions on the red carpet last night.
Cruella deVille has arrived! (aka Sharon Stone)
And the Charmin Bathroom Tissue award goes to the gorgeous as always Halle Berry!
Helena we know you're quirky but really....the Edward Scissorhands Award?
Count on Helena for the outrageous. After all, she is married to Tim Burton.
The best maternity dress of the night, classic understated elegance by Best Actress Oscar winner Natalie Portman:
Cool as an icicle, brrrrr!.....Michelle Williams, Best Actress nominee:
Hey, I may be gay but this outfit that Jennifer Lawrence has hugging her curves definitely does something for me! WOW!
One of the most overrated actresses, ZZZZZZZZZ, the always boring Scarlett Johannsen:
Reese, I hardly knew ye! Whatever happened to that adorable little girl? Only Julia Roberts can do Julia Roberts:
Christian Bale uglies it up with a red beard. Christian takes over the Russell Crowe mantel of Full of Himself, Obnoxious Actor of non-American origin. Bale will be even more odious now that he has won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. God save us from these bores. Nice understated gown on wife Sibi though. Obviously only room for one MASSIVE EGO in this family.
By contrast with the previous actor, here is a class actor. I loved his first line when he accepted his Oscar for Actor: "I have a feeling my career has just peaked." Love you Colin!
I swear this is the same gown that my date Jeanette wore to my 1959 Senior Prom. Looks good on the teenage Best Supporting Actress nominee Hailee Steinfield:
The WTF Award goes to Kate Blanchette for the "what was she thinking?" gown/ Princess Leia's Mother?
Gwynnie Paltrow's "Lost in Space" gown:
Nicole and Gwynnie - two fabulous actresses!
This is what a gown looks like when you can't make up your mind....wear both! Best Supporting Actor Mark Ruffalo's date confuses everyone in her Victor/Victoria gown:
Winner of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar Melissa Leo: so so gown but love the personality. Hitting on 94 year old Kirk Douglas. It doesn't get any better than that! I'm looking forward to seeing Melissa in more movies in the future:
No one plays a lesbian better than the straight Annette Benning. She was robbed of the Oscar for Best Actress but she will be back. Love you Annette! Whose the doofus with you?
Oscar co-host Anne Hathaway, always spectacular in red:
I like this new slim look in pants with male actors. The black hip-hop influence is dead (Thank God!) Andrew Garfield from "The Social Network" - sexy! Love that bow-legged look. Wuff!
Sandra Bullack (minus Jesse James) with her portable seat cushion:
Best Actor Nominee Jesse Eisenberg who aced the role of billionaire A-Hole Mark Zuckerberg in "The Social Network" What's with that hair? Just get out of the shower? Go home Jesse. Buy bye.
Jennifer Hudson, winner Best Actress in a previous year. Love your weight loss Jennifer but when are you going to move on from
wailing singing in weight loss commercials and on to that next Oscar nominated role?
Celine Dion, Old Horse Face Herself, in a gown made out of white on white patterned wallpaper. Go have another kid with Renee. Nobody cares.
Best Supporting Actress nominee Jackie Weaver. I love it when Mom gets to go to the Oscars!
I also love it when hot, straight young men take their Mom to the Oscars. Bravo Justin Timerlake!
And falling in the OH MY GOD category:
co-hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco cross dress: Anne? YES!
James? He looks better in tights
I'll never look at Marilyn in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" in quite the same way again.