Monday, June 20, 2011

The Best Mom in the World


(Pictured from left to right:  Sandy Hadfield Hart - my Mom's cousin - my Mom - and Elaine Reynolds Tyson my Mom's niece - lovely ladies all - all "Hadfield Girls"


My Mom died September 16th, 2010.  Even though her death was expected, when she died it was still like a punch in the stomach.

I have two brothers, John and Isaac.  When my father died in 2000, my younger brother (he's the middle one) took care of our Mom at her home in Pennsylvania.  Then came a time last year when her physical and mental health began to deteriorate more quickly and my brothers and I decided that it would be best for her if she moved in with my brother John in South Carolina.  His home had the facilities to take better care of someone in my Mother's condition.  John and his wife had a separate "mother-in-law" apartment in their modest ranch house in Greenville, SC.  And, John's profession is that he is the care pastor of his church.  John and his wife take care of older people in failing health for a living.  What better place for our Mom to live out her days.

My brothers and I had always promised Mom that we would never put her in a nursing home.  Thanks to my brothers, we were able to keep that promise.

The pictures I have in this video are a random compilation of pictures that I had collected over the years.  I surprised myself by being able to put together this DVD because I had never before (or since) used the iMovie maker function of my iMac.

I was very pleased with hour the remembering the rich, full life of our Mom came out.  I would like to think I was divinely lead in producing this loving tribute to our Mom.

I know a lot of people say they have the best Mom in the world.  And that is probably true.  Maybe sometimes that is exaggerated but that's all right too.  But one thing I know for sure, my brothers and I all agree that for us we had the Best Mom In The World.

My brothers and I are who we are today because of our Mom.  Even towards the end of her life when her personality began to change because of her dementia and she wasn't the Mom we knew all our lives, she was still Our Mom.  Nothing could ever change that.

It's been six months now since Mom passed away.  I thought I was over it, at least the teary part.  Guess what?  Every time I watch this DVD, the frog come back into my throat and the tears begin to well up in my eyes.  Waves of sadness sweep over me.  By the time the DVD ends, I am exhausted.

The purpose of this posting is not to elicit sympathy for me, my brothers or my Mom.  To me her passing is part of life.  Someday I too will pass as will my brothers.  No one needs to be sad.  We have all lived a good and fulfilling life as did my Mother.  When you watch this DVD, remember that my Mom lived a long and good life.

We all miss her every day.  As my brother John said after she died "Ronnie, we're orphans now.  Sixty year old orphans, but we're still orphans."  I know what he meant.  Our Mother was such a guiding force in our lives that now she is gone we feel diminished.  But as long as I'm alive I will have these wonderful memories of her which I am sharing with the readers of my blog today.

We all only get one Mom.  Isaac, John and I know God smiled on us when he gave us the best.

13 comments:

  1. What a lovely tribute to a special lady and mother.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Mark.

    ReplyDelete
  3. anne marie in philly7:45 PM

    VERY nice, ron! your mom was a beautiful woman. and it's ok to still mourn her passing.

    thanks for sharing with us!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you Anne Marie. I had forgotten that I hadn't posted the DVD I made for my Mom. I posted it more for myself to look at occasionally than my regular blog readers because I know they didn't know her. When I say "The Best Mom in the World" of course I mean the best one for me, Isaac and John. We could not have had a better Mom. We were truly blessed to have her. Growing up we thought everyone had a Mom like we had. It wasn't until we grew up and became acquainted with other people and their family situation that we realized how lucky we were. And we had her for a long time too. Whatever else happens in my life, nothing will top the Mom I had. Nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. that was a touching tribute; thank you for sharing it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lovely compilation, Ron - as well as a fitting written tribute. A beloved one like your Mum couldn't have had a more gracious, heartfelt and deserving memorial. I'm very moved.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous8:45 AM

    Hi Ron,

    What a lovely tribute to your Mom. I watched it yesterday but was so choked up & teary eyed I couldn't comment. I love your Mom's smile & the loving way she looked at your Dad. Thank you so much for sharing all the pictures with us.

    Fran

    ReplyDelete
  8. ron, thank you for sharing memories of your mother. i have heard that a parent never recovers from losing a child, well, i think the same is true when a child loses a parent, no matter when it happens. i will never "get over" losing my mother, and at times i just start crying about it. she is the ONE person who had been in my life ever since, well, ever since i had life. not easy to get used to her not being in my life anymore. i will always miss her. sounds like you feel the same about your mother. i am glad you made this video for yourself so that you can remember her. -tony

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you Fran. You understand. I hadn't watched this video since September at her funeral. Watching it brought back all the memories of her again. I always get choked up and teary eyed (and I NEVER cry) when I watch it. I surprised myself that I was even able to do the DVD because I had never done one before nor have I done one since. I did want to make something for those who attended the funeral to have of my Mom. She was my life force. I am not whole now that she is gone. I am less.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tony,

    Thank you for your comment. You understand my unique relationship with my Mother. It was more than the typical gay son relationship with a mother because both of my straight brothers feel the same way about her passing. We had her a long time and for that we are so thankful. We knew someday she would be gone but now that she is, we all feel her loss immensely every day. We don't feel that way about our father although we miss him too. I think we feel that way about our Mom because she wasn't only our Mother, she was our friend too. She lived her life for her family. She was totally unselfish. She was our angel. We were so fortunate to have her. I hope that if there is an Afterlife that she is supremely happy now and that someday we'll be together again.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you Dr. Spo.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This was truly enjoyable!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lovely - truly enjoyable!!!

    ReplyDelete