|Two pooches in the Millsboro B.J.'s parking lot 4/12/2011|
Friends, a subject I've written about before but bears writing about again.
In the course of life one is fortunate to have acquired a few good friends that last a lifetime. I have been one of those lucky few.
To me a true friend is a person who accepts you as you are, flaws and all. A true friend doesn't try to dominate or control you. A true friend cares about you. A true friend doesn't look upon you as an opportunity to further their own advancement or for what they can get out of you. During the course of my almost seventy years on this planet I have encountered all types of 'friends."
- I have had 'friends' who looked upon me as only a sexual object for conquest.
- I have had 'friends' who have seen me only as an opportunity for what I could do for them to either with my skills or my money to make their lives easier.
- I have had 'friends' who were only friends to advance their own career. When I no longer had a career they no longer needed me as their friend.
- I have had 'friends' who have mistakenly identified my good natured and easy going personality as a weakness and thus an opportunity to dominate me, tell me how to live my life, mock and scold me and thus use me to build up their own selfish egos.
- Those are my former friends. Granted, sometimes I have had difficulty identifying these 'friends'. It has taken me longer to end those friendships, sometime very reluctantly because I didn't want to believe what was right before my eyes. Sometimes the parting has been painful. Sometimes the parting, long overdue, has come with great relief.
- They were my friends when I was young and attractive and they are still my friends now that I am old and unattractive.
- They were my friends when I have a great career and made loads of money and they are still my friends when I am now working part-time as a hotel front desk clerk making $10.75 an hour and mopping floors at night.
- They are my friends in spite of the fact that I am moody, immature (at times), do dumb things (sometimes), and wish to be alone (many times).
- They are my friends in spite of the fact that I have a lot of annoying habits like clearing my throat, taking pictures at almost every dine out.
- They are my friends in spite of the fact that I cannot give them money, sex, career opportunities or a home to live.
- They did not desert me when I was falsely accused of sexual harassment in one of my jobs.
- They did not desert me when I was being railroaded out of a job because of a new boss who was homophobic and didn't want any 'queers' working for him. The excuse I heard "I would like to help you Ron but we're concerned about our own jobs." That was the first time I realized that real life wasn't like life in the movies or TV. When there is an injustice most people, including people who you think are your 'friends', will toss you under the bus for expediency. They will risk nothing for their 'friendship' with you. Ironically, when I was going through those two bad periods of my life, even though I saw many false friends I found a few new friends. People I totally unexpected came to my defense. It just goes to show that you never know who your true friends really are.