Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dancing With the Stars Show Week #4

Maks and Kirstie - I like them!

Kirsty may be old and fat but she has style and Maks is the Max
Okay, here is my better late than ever take on last night's "Dancing With the Stars" competition.  I don't hold back on telling exactly how I feel so if you're a squeamish and are uncomfortable with my unfiltered remarks you might want to consider skipping this blog posting.  

I didn't get a chance to watch the whole show because I was too tried from having to go into work on short notice for a co-worker who had a family crises.  I DVR the show so I did get a chance to see some of it.  Unfortunately, I saw those two trolls, Mark Ballas and Louis Van Amstel dance.  Those two "it's all about me" guys annoy me to no end.  They are NOT THE STARS.  Apparently no one clued them in on that fact.  Mark Ballas especially gets under my skin because he hogs all the limelight from his 'star' partner, Chelsea Kane.  She's nice enough to let him get away with it. Mark is one of those short,  ugly, troll-like guys who think they're all THAT.  He's short and ugly..and short.  But the gals (and some gay guys no doubt) go for that kind of troll.  Same with Louis Van Amstel.  I know he can't help the way he was born but what's with that forehead anyway?  His forehead reminds me of Frankenstein's monster.  Louis is also short.  I always thought a great dancing partner was a tall, elegant man, not one of these short scene stealers.  

I'm told that the short guys are the best dancers. Really?  I don't see it. Since when?  I think Maks (Kirstie's partner) and Dmitry are pretty damn good too.  Plus they don't hog the spotlight from their 'star' partner.  They're not selfish and self aggrandizing like Mark Ballas and Louis Van Amstel.  

Louis will be gone tonight.  He outta there.  Unfortunately, the judges fell for Mark's choreography and gave him high marks last night.  That's another thing that annoys me.  Where's the dancing?  We all know that professional dancers know choreography but how about some dancing?  If we wanted to see choreography we would rent one of the old Busby Berkley musicals.  

So here is my take on the dancers last night:

Who is the star here?  Ask Mark, he'll tell you.  Smug ass.

This is Ballas' getup from last week.  WTF? What a frigging doofus.

This is dancing?  

I'll say it again, "This is dancing?" It looks like "drag around The Star )"

Now the I beat up on this selfish, no-talent, scene stealing troll Mark Ballas, here are the rest of last night's contestants:

Chris and Cheryl - I like Chris - he is obviously having the time of his life

OMIGOD!  Did you see Chris 'strut' the dance floor on his knees like a Russian Cossack last night? I couldn't find an image of that on the Internet today but that image is imprinted on my brain - at least for a few days.  SEXY!

Short Louis with the Big Head 'dancing' with Chelsea.  Really? This is dancing?

The always elegant Petra and manly Dimtry (Louis and Mark could take a cue from Dimtry how a real man should dance with a star)

Oh no, here we go again.  "This is dancing?"  

Ralph and Karina - always enjoyable to watch - they'll probably win

Who knew Ralph Macchio was this good?  I didn't.

Romeo and Chelsie - I was all prepared to dislike this rapper but I have to admit he's won me over with his class

Sugar Ray and Anna - I have always disliked Sugar Ray from the time he stole Sugar Ray Robinson's name and tried to live off of his reflected fame.  To me 'this' Sugar Ray' is a phony and a bore.  He has done nothing to dissuade of that fact since appearing on "Dancing With the Stars".  He' still a no talent bore with weird eyes.  The baby-face thing gets weird when you're over fifty years of age.

Hines and Kym - always good - they'll be in the finals


  1. I love your reviews, but I wish you wouldn't hold back so much!

    I feel the opposite about Mark. I loved his Harry Potter theme and I'm glad he's not passive. I think it gets all the other male pros to step it up a notch.

    And beyond that he's totally porkable!

    I have a real problem watching this show. I can't my eyes off the men, especially Maks. His ass just won't quit. Every season I root for whoever his partner is solely because I want him to have maximum TV time for me to oogle him.

    And Romeo... he won me over last night too :-)

    It's very clear to me that Kendra and Louis hate each other. Why, I don't know, but it sure makes me uncomfortable to have to watch them interacting. I hope they get yanked tonight.

    I can't wait for your review next week!

  2. Cubby,
    So you noticed that I didn't hold back on my review? I was going to because I didn't want to offend any of my blog readers but then I thought "Why should I?" About Mark Ballas; he is a good dancer. What I have against him is that he makes the dance all about him and it should be the BOTH of them. Mark reminds me a lot of a local guy in a theater group. When this guy isn't delivering a line, and when the other actors or actresses are talking or singing, he's doing something with his hands or some other activity to bring attention to himself. I don't like selfish people like that. Physically he's not my type anyway, to troll looking for me. Now Maks...you're talking about a real sweet guy and yes...he looks damn good from the rear. He is a real cutie and if you'll notice, he gives all the attention to Kirstie which I think is really sweet. I'm attracted to guys who are unselfish like Maks. I've known too many guys who are good-looking by conventional standards but who are selfish assholes who think of only what they can get for themselves and they'll walk on anybody they can to get it. Mark Ballas reminds me too much of that kind of guy.

    Romeo is a nice guy, which I did not expect at all. He is genuine and is much more respectful of his partner than Mark is to his partner. I'm not attracted physically to Romeo but he has a sweet personality which I like.

    Yes, what is the deal between Kendra and Louis? I detected something there too. Louis is gay (that's fairly obvious) but I don't think that is the problem. Kendra probably wishes she had someone like Dimtry or Maks as her partner instead of Mr. Broadway Dancer Louis.

    This is the first year I've been able to watch "Dancing With the Stars." I am having a ball.


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