Monday, September 20, 2010

Saying Goodbye To Mom

Mom (my brother Isaac's picture)

John brought Mom home Friday. 

This afternoon we say goodbye to Mom. 

I'm at my brother Isaac's computer now.  It's still dark outside.  The time is 6:30 am.

This is the first opportunity since I arrived at Mom's home to update my blog.  Friday and Saturday I stayed at the Hampton Inn in Lionville.  They have a computer but I could only access information, not input information. 

As anyone who knows me and regular readers of this blog know, writing is my therapy.  My blog is my therapy.  Because I haven't been able to write since I arrived in Pennsylvania, I'm a bit off kilter. 

This will be a brief posting.  Isaac is up.  John and Barb are still sleeping upstairs.  They will be up shortly.  Once we all wash up then we'll go out for breakfast. 

Services for Mom will be this afternoon at the James J. Terry Funeral Home in Downingtown. 

We'll go in to say goodbye to her at 12:30.  The viewing is 1:00.  John will perform the services at 2:00.  Then we will begin Mom's final trip to the Hopewell Methodist Church Cemtery on Hopewell Road, just down the road a bit from Mom's home.  That home will be Isaac's home now. 

Bill is coming up today.  He will not attend the services.  He ca n't take funerals.  He's still getting over the loss of his dogs over ten years ago.  But he wants to be here when Mom takes her final trip. 

I'm not sure when I'm going back to Delaware.  Maybe after the services today, maybe early tomorrow morning.  I'll have to see how I feel after we leave Mom who now will lie next to Pop at that grave site that she so often visited the past ten years since he died in August of 1980.

This day will be interesting. All of us have done pretty well in holding it together. 

I thought I might lose it yesterday when I attended my 51st class reunion.  That was a coincidence.  I wasn't planning on making a special trip in attending that reunion which was at Hoss's Restuarant, right next to the Hampton Inn.   But since I was up here I thought "Why not?"  It would take my mind off of Mom for awhile. 

Several of my former classmates came up to me and expressed their condolences.  They had seen Mom's obituary in the Daily Local News.  I thought I might get blubbery but I didn't. 

Today will be a different story when me and my brothers stand in the receiving line by our Mom, welcoming relatives and friends saying goodbye to their friend Betty, Aunt Betty, or "Mom-Mom", as she is know by her five grandchildren and eleven great grandchildren. 

Today will also be closure.  Nineteen years ago, when I attended the untimely death of my good friend Alice was the first time I realized the importance of our unique funeral tradition of our western culture. 

It is not for the deceased but for the survivors.  For all those who knew and loved her to pay their final respects and bring to closure this chapter of their lives.  I know for myself, I will never be the same. 

My brothers and I are one of the fortunate children of this world who had a mother who was the best mother anyone could have had.  If me and my brothers could have chosen a mother, we could not have got a better mother. 

Mom literally devoted her whole life to Pop and her "three boys", as she always used to call us.  She never did for herself.  She only lived to make our lives better.

As my cousin Jackie (the son of Mom's older sister Grace) often said "I don't know what Grandpop Hadfield did to those Hadfield girls but they all spent their lives only for their family." 

My Aunt Grace had two sons, Jackie and Charlie.  My Mom's other sister Jeannette (who is 93 years old and living Simpson Meadows) had one daughter and four sons.  All three sisters spent their whole lives for their husbands and children. 

Yes, we were all so blessed to have these three sisters who grew up without a mother to be such wonderful mothers themselves. 



Today we will say goodbye to Mom. 

11 comments:

  1. Ron,

    My thoughts will be with you today.

    I wish I could be there to pay respects in person, but the circumstances of timing have worked against that.

    Please remember, though, I am always here if you need me.

    Lar

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  2. We are with you Ron. M & G

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  3. Anonymous2:21 PM

    Hello Ron,

    I have been thinking of you often during the past few days since your Mom passed away. I hope your weather there is as beautiful as ours is today. I love the pic of your Mom in the straw hat. She looks so content there reading the paper.

    I'm sure your Mother & her sisters took all the love they had for the Mom they lost & put that energy into their families. It shows.

    Thinking of you & your family,
    Fran

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  4. Anonymous2:21 PM

    Hello Ron,

    I have been thinking of you often during the past few days since your Mom passed away. I hope your weather there is as beautiful as ours is today. I love the pic of your Mom in the straw hat. She looks so content there reading the paper.

    I'm sure your Mother & her sisters took all the love they had for the Mom they lost & put that energy into their families. It shows.

    Thinking of you & your family,
    Fran

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2:21 PM

    Hello Ron,

    I have been thinking of you often during the past few days since your Mom passed away. I hope your weather there is as beautiful as ours is today. I love the pic of your Mom in the straw hat. She looks so content there reading the paper.

    I'm sure your Mother & her sisters took all the love they had for the Mom they lost & put that energy into their families. It shows.

    Thinking of you & your family,
    Fran

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ron, I don't have any words today that could help you in anyway. But even though we have never met, I consider you a friend. Lean on me if you want.
    m.

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  7. Hi Ron,

    Sorry I've not been around much so missed the last couple of posts and didn't know of your loss.

    My thoughts are with you

    Kim

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  8. Thank you Kim. She is at rest now. Life will never be the same. But I am so grateful to have had her as long as I did. Like my brother John said today, "Today me and my brothers are orphans. We're orphans in our sixties but we're still orphans."

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  9. Thank you Mark. Life will be back to normal soon. I appreciate your friendship.

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  10. Mike and Glenn,

    Thank you so much.

    Ron

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  11. Thank you Fran. My brother Isaac took that picture of Mom in the straw hat. He took care of Mom for several years. I have to give credit to him for taking such good care of her.

    ReplyDelete