I write a blog so I don't go crazy.
Blogging is my therapy.
I know people (friends and family) that think blogging is invasive and self indulgent. So be it.
I have friends and family members who value their privacy so much that they would never so much as write about what they did yesterday, let alone share their innermost thoughts. That's the way they think about blogging. That's fine for them. I don't pass judgement on them because they don't blog. I respect their views.
However, I am different. I have always put my thoughts, aspirations, and record of what I do down on paper. When I was a teenager I had pen pals. At one time I had 67 pen pals. I remember my great aunt Grace asking my Mother "Why does Ronnie write to these strangers? Doesn't he have any friends?"
When my Mother relayed her aunt's comment to me (my Mother didn't approve of me having pen pals either), I was hurt and humiliated. My great aunt had actually hit upon a sore spot, I didn't have many friends at 15 years old. I was a too tall, skinny kid with low self-esteem (constantly verbally beaten down by my father) and queer to boot. I was alone in the world and needed an outlet. My pen pals provided that outlet. They were my friends. They were nonjudgmental.
I dropped most of my pen pals when I went into the Army. I made new friends.
Later in life, even with many friends, I still felt a need to put my thoughts down in writing. I began keeping a daily journal during the 70's. I kept that journal for ten years until someone I was helping gained access to those journals and attempted to use them against me. I quit keeping a journal until three years ago.
At that time in my life I was going through great turmoil. I couldn't sell my house in Pennsylvania and I was building a new house in Delaware. Fortunately I got through that crises in my life but to keep from going crazy, I began keeping a journal again. I also discovered blogging.
Blogging was perfect for me. I could write and also share my many pictures. I have found that I could also learn a lot from other bloggers. Plus, I could make new friends.
Ironically, as I was writing this blog I heard a knock on my door. It was from the UPS man. He left a box at my door from "Wine Country Gift Baskets." I was puzzled at first because I was expecting a package of fiber blend from the AIM Companies. This didn't look like that box. I opened the box to find a "Toscano Tower" of goodies. I opened the card in the box. The card said:
"We're thinking about you. Hang in there. Out cat Tammy says hello. Michael and Glenn."
I am touched. This was a gift from my friends Mike Wilson and Glenn Miller from West Hollywood, California. They discovered my goofy, self-absorbed blog some months ago and we have become good friends. They are expressing concern over the fact that I had just posted that my Mother was dying. I probably should not have made that posting because I wasn't trying to elicit sympathy but only to take the stress off of my mind. But I posted it anyway because this is my life and I made a vow to myself that my blog would always be honest and as open as possible while still respecting the privacy of my friends and family.
Mike and Glenn, thank you for being such good friends. If we weren't on opposite ends of the coast I would give you both a big hug right now. Love you guys!
Now do you see why I blog?