Friday, August 20, 2010

Mom

Pop, Mom and Ron 1979

My brother John called this morning.  He confirmed my worst fears, Mom is dying.  It could be next week or six months from now.

His next step is to secure hospice care for her.  We want to make her as comfortable as possible.

Like my father she made it clear to us many times that she did not want her life artificially prolonged.  We will honor her wishes.

Ironically, Pop died almost ten years ago to this date.  He died from lung cancer on August 22, 2000.  He was 80 years old.  He didn't suffer too long.  He was in the hospital hooked up to oxygen and pain killers for a little over two weeks.  It was a blessing that he died when he did because he was in a great deal of discomfort.

While I was never that close to my father, and we knew he was dying, his death was still a major blow for me and my brothers.  Mom especially took his death very hard.  She was never the same after he died.

I really don't know how I'm going to handle it when my Mother dies.  Even this morning, I could hardly talk to John without choking up.  The big sissy that I am.  Man oh man.  This is going to be hard.

Mom and Pop 1962

11 comments:

  1. This is a shock. She seemed to be doing well in her new surroundings. I am so sorry for you all.

    If you need anything, you know where to find me.

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  2. Ron,

    I'm sorry. I'm here. You know the number.

    Lar

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  3. That's why Bill is there, to comfort you.
    Your Friend, m.

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  4. Thanks Wayne. I'm not even sure I should post about this on my blog but I decided to anyway. It's my life. What's the secret? By linking my blog to my FB account, it is also a way to keep my family members informed.

    I appreciate your concern. I mainly write on my blog so I don't go crazy. My blog is my therapy.....in all aspects of my life.

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  5. Oh Ron...I have not met your Mom, but feel like I know her through your writings and pictures. I'm crying with you :( She is so lucky to have sons that love her so much. I know you will make the most of your time you have left with her here on Earth. Love and prayers...Marg

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  6. Marg,

    Thank your for kind comment. All three of her "boys" (which is how she has always referred to us) are going to be a mess. We're a mess now. We all knew this day was coming but now that it is here, it is still hard to believe. All we can think of now is poor Mom. She would never have wanted it to end this way. She always just wanted to go to sleep one day and not wake up. Not this lingering torture. Our focus now to to make her as comfortable as possible until she joins Pop.
    Ron

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  7. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. My mother died suddenly on Christmas Day, 2008. I'm not sure which would be worse, loosing her slowly or suddenly, and it's probably not a fair question, but I've spent a lot of time trying to remember the last words I said to her. It was just a casual phone call that I had no reason to remember. Now I can't. Anyway, at least you now have some time to say all the things that are in your heart. I'll be thinking about you.

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  8. Oh, and one more piece of unsolicited advice: find the humor. You gotta laugh. Seriously.

    Also, you look cute in the shorts.

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  9. Sam,
    It's a tough call as to which is worse. Losing your Mother slowly or suddenly. My partner lost his mother suddenly (brain aneurysm.) He's often said as much as he hated losing his mother, he is now glad it was fast rather than this slow torture that my Mother is going through now.
    I'm glad I visited her this summer and had some conversation with her. We cannot have a conversation with her now because she is so far gone. All we can do is make her comfortable and lessen her pain.
    My sympathy to you on losing your Mother. It is never easy, which ever way we lose our Mother.

    Ron

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  10. Sam,

    Thanks for the tip about finding the humor. That's one thing my brothers and I find easy to do, finding the humor. And hey....thanks for the compliment about me in shorts. You made my day. :) You made me smile.

    Ron

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