Friday, August 20, 2010

Dinner at Bob's

Our friend and host tonight for dinner, Bob of Milton

When I decided to move to the Rehoboth Beach area of lower Delaware back in 2006, I thought my social life would vastly improve.  Prior to moving to Delaware, Bill and I lived in the middle of the woods in Pennsylvania, 37 miles west of Philadelphia.  All of our neighbors were straight.  We had nothing in common with them.  We had no social life.  I had some straight friends but their interest is more in their family than their gay friend.  The only people who seemed to be interested in me was the ever growing population of widows of my former classmates.  I'm already "married" plus I have no interest in developing a romantic relationship with any of my former classmates, as nice as they are.  None.

Moving to the Rehoboth Beach area of southern Delaware, I assumed our social life would be much different.  After all, the Rehoboth Beach area is known as the gay capital of the eastern seaboard.

Rehoboth Beach is about two hours from Washington D.C., Baltimore, and Philadelphia.  All those cities have a large gay population which migrates towards the beaches in the summertime.  In addition to the weekend gay tourists, there is a growing population of gay retirees.

So one would think that relocating to such an area would be the happy ideal for a retired gay couple, such a Bill and I.  Well, think again.

First, Bill doesn't want to have anything to do with any kind of social or straight.  He prefers to stay at home.  That's fine, I respect his wish for privacy.

But me, that's another matter.  I don't consider myself a social butterfly but I do like to get out and mingle with friends.

Bill getting seated for dinner, served by Bob - chicken and fish- nothing fancy, just friend getting together

I like to talk.  I like to laugh.  I like to dine out.  I like to take trips.  I would like to do it with somebody.

What I am not interested in are sexual encounters.  I'm not looking for a lover.  I'm not looking for a sugar daddy.  What I am looking for is a friend.

I am interested in is finding someone like myself.  Just a regular, semi-educated (only a two year community college degree) with a moderate retirement income, goofy, immature kind of guy.  Well guess what?  He doesn't exist.   I must be the only one down here in Lower Slower.

Recently I've been following a blog of a married guy who recently came out of the closet.  He's frustrated because he's now on the "market" but can't find Mr. Perfect.  He having a great deal of difficulty finding a friend.....and a lover.  Well, welcome to the real world Frank.

I came out when I was 21 years old (47 years ago.)  I was lucky because at the age of 22 I met Bill.  We have been together ever since.  I'm not alone.  But I do like to have friends too.  That I have found is hard to come by.

I've been around a long time.  I'm fairly attractive.  Less so now than when I was in the glory days of my youthful innocence but my visage isn't scaring little children.....yet.  I'm sociable, I can hold a conversation and I'm times.  With all that going for me one would think I would be inundated with friends.  Not so.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm delusional in thinking because I was gay and moved to a gay resort area that I would automatically have a lot of friends.  At best my thinking was unrealistic.

I just got off the phone with my boss at the hotel.  I mentioned to him that I was writing about my "friend" problem on my blog.  He said he's lived here his whole life (fourth generation Lewes resident) and he only has one or two friends.  And he's straight.  So you know what?  I think I should count my blessings with the friends that I have.  I got to get real.

Thank you my friend Bob for inviting Bill and I to dinner at your home tonight.  It was a lovely dinner and the conversation was interesting and stimulating.  We'll have to do it again.....soon, my friend.

Me, the resident goofball guest giving a toast to my friend Bob


  1. Oh really, we live on a street with THREE other gay couples and does any one of them stop by, or drive by, and say hello. NO, I was stunned the first few years we were here then I thought screw it I'll just read Ron's blog. See Ron, it sucks in most places.

  2. Now you know as well as anybody that it's the Quality of your Friends, not the quantity.
    It looks like you had a good time and that was nice of Bob to host you and Bill. I'm sure after dinner, you all went out to do some Clubbing and to down a few shots.
    I'm sorry, I down have a moderate retirement income so I can't be your Sugar Daddy. Sorry.
    Your Friend, m.

  3. Mike,
    Yes, I agree with you. Having friends does suck in most places. Don't feel sorry for me. I may have over emphasized my lack of friends since moving to Delaware. Actually, that's not the case. I've made a lot of friends. Most of them are straight. I thought I would make more gay friends since there is such a large gay population in this area. My naiveté again coming into play. I'm just surprised. Hey, I thought I would meet guys like you and Glenn. Actually, the same thing happened when we lived in center city Philadelphia (and I used to wear that brown plaid shirt.) A big gay population but most were very insular. I thought maybe the guys would have changed once they got older and got the testosterone out of their system. It was not to be.

    I'm glad for the friends I have like you two beautiful guys. :)


  4. Mark,

    You're right again, it is the Quality of friends, not the quantity. And I do have quality friends for which I am very thankful. I actually have a lot of them. However, about 98% of them are straight, which I don't hold against them. :) Could it be that most gays are shallow? I know why lesbians aren't friendly, that's part of their persona. But the guys? Doesn't really matter anyway.


  5. Lar,

    Yes, I know you're only about 89 miles away. I will always treasure your friendship. I will never forgot those Saturday nights back in the Fifties when we used to load up with a couple of bucks worth of gas in your old '55 Ford and take off for Pottstown and try to pick up girls at the Sunnybrook Ballroom. We never were successful were we? Fun times.



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