Monday, March 08, 2010

Renewal, Faith and Hope

Spring is a time of renewal. For the second consecutive day sun is streaming through my home office window beckoning me to go outside.




The temperature is up to a balmy 50 degrees. The last of the snow piles are gone. I do believe spring is actually coming.



This past winter, with two back to back blizzards caused a lot of damage to my shrubbery, especially the holly trees that line my back yard. I will replace the holly.



This past winter also was the cause of major damage in some of my friendships. It won’t be as easy to replace those friendships. Perhaps they don’t need to be replaced. What I do know that if a friendship is constantly negative and holds nothing positive, why hold onto that friendship?



I’ve always remembered what Phyllis Diller said many years ago. She reevaluated all her friendships and dropped all the “friends” who were negative and pulling her down. I was surprised by her comment because she always seemed like such a happy person to me. But I guess the happiest person can have these “friends” who always take, complain, and are negative to one’s well being.



Recently I went way out of my way to help a couple of friends who were lacking access to TV stations. Without going into a boring detail, my efforts went under the category of “No good deed goes unpunished.” After I got them hooked up with 210 TV stations they complained that they couldn’t find any good stations. They also suggested that I was responsible for getting them hooked up to a monthly expense that they didn’t want. When I heard this I told them to cancel the subscription.



This isn’t the first sign of trouble with this friendship. It has been deteriorating for several years, largely because of the slow descent into dementia of one of the friends. His partner is extremely possessive and jealous. Because of my natural naïveté, I thought I could work through these problems. Now I know it is not possible.



I have another “friend” who only criticizes. He knows no other way. He is constantly negative. I’ve only known this person for a few years and at first I thought it was funny. However, after a constant barrage of unrelenting negativity I now know that this is not a person who is my friend.



This spring is a time of renewal. I have faith that I will make new friends. I hope I will make new friends. I will make new friends.



Note:  Pictured is the best friend I ever had.  His name was Horace and I adopted him from a puppy mill.  He was the only friend who accepted me totally as I am.  Horace was born in 1982 and died in 1998.  I miss him every day. I am comforted by the fact that I will see him again one day.  That I know.

12 comments:

  1. OH, so you like red heads? What a beauty.

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  2. Now that I have read your post I would agree that being around negative people or people that complain just for the sake of complaining are not around Glenn or myself. We have worked too hard and lost too many friends, from AIDS, to expose ourselves to these kind of people. We have few friends, by choice, and although you are far away we consider you a friend.

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  3. Ron,

    She didn't have the happiest life around. She had one child who died after two weeks and another who was a schizophrenic. her marriages had some bumps , too.

    Lar

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  4. Mike,

    I like ORANGE. My favorite cat was Rusty. An orange kitty. Sad to report though that my brother Isaac just put him down about a month ago. Old age. Poor Rusty. Horace was also orange. I just have a thing for orange. I guess you could call it redhead. I think you're attractive. I didn't realize you were a redhead. You are though, aren't you? :)

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  5. A couple of years ago I introduced myself (knocked on their door cold) to another gay couple in the neighborhood. We had a friendship for awhile but I had to end it. It's a long story but basically these guys were nothing but negative, negative, negative. Plus, they didn't respect me. I'm like you now; I'm too old to put up with people who I offer my friendship who don't respect me. If they don't respect me that means they don't like me. I don't hate them but why should I put myself through all that negativity? I'm done with it.

    I'm glad I have friends like you, Glenn, Kevin and Tim. I've never met you guys but all of you are a lot more positive influence in my life than these so call "friends" that I let go.

    Ron

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  6. Lar,
    I don't know who you're talking about.
    Ron

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  7. Ron,

    I referring to your comment: "I’ve always remembered what Phyllis Diller said many years ago. She reevaluated all her friendships and dropped all the “friends” who were negative and pulling her down. I was surprised by her comment because she always seemed like such a happy person to me. But I guess the happiest person can have these “friends” who always take, complain, and are negative to one’s well being."

    Phyllis Diller wasn't necessarily as happy as she appeared, or least, didn't have as happy a life as her disposition may have suggested.

    Of course, i haven't either, but I'm generally a happy person. I choose to be happy rather than be negative or miserable. Sure, sometimes there are negatives, but why spend your life dwelling on that. You choose to be happy, you can be happy.

    I'm not "happy" about circumstance at work these days, but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy. Those things are just temporary, why carry it into everything else. That would be plain stupid.

    Lar

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  8. I'm kinda red, orange, on top but brunette elswhere.

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  9. Lar,

    Sorry about that. I had forgotten that I referred to Phyllis Diller in my blog posting about friendships.

    Like you I am a generally happy person, even in depressing circumstances. I think the unhappiest I've been in recent times was when I had the problem of selling my house. I was sinking fast in depression.

    My natural disposition is to be happy. Occasionally I befriend people who are negative. Probably because I feel sorry for them. But it doesn't take me too long to realize why they have no friends, they're losers. And like a drowning person, their negativity pulls me down with them. I'm done with that kind of person. Life is too short to put up with that kind of "friendship."

    Ron

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  10. Mike,

    You're a hottie. I would cruise you. You're my type. :)

    Ron

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  11. Mike,

    By the way, I never let partners stand in the way. If I like someone I go after them. Partner or no partner. Just saying. :)

    Ron

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  12. I have been warned. Thank you

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