Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving 2009

Here we are at another Thanksgiving Day holiday. I should be feeling carefree and wonderful but I am not. It's not because I'm going to work today but because of the recent unpleasantness I had. I'm trying to move on but I have to admit I am having difficulty. But I won't go into it any more. I only mention it because the hurt it caused is still affecting my morale. Sometimes I just get tired of the whole world and want to go to sleep and not wake up. I've heard other people say this and thought they were overreacting and not getting a proper perspective on their situation. But, until you're on the receiving end of unsolicited and hateful bigotry you just never realize how harmful it is to one's psyche.

Moving friend Big Bob and his partner annually prepare a Thanksgiving dinner for all their friends and acquaintances who have nowhere else to go for Thanksgiving dinner. Anyone can come. No engraved invitations are needed. Bob has been doing this for over twenty years. You'll never see anything in the local newspaper about it although I think it is a great human interest story.

The Rehoboth Beach area has a large gay population that mainly consists of older gays and lesbians. The lesbians seem to take care of their "family" quite well but many of the Old Gay Guys had no where else to go for Thanksgiving other than their relatives as the bachelor uncle they took pity upon. Big Bob offered a different choice.

At Bob and Jim's twenty or more of the Old Gay Guys gather once a year for family, fellowship and camaraderie gay style. We gather together and don't have to be careful no to offend the brother-in-law who hates gays but is willing to have his sister's brother at the family table as long as he DOESN'T SHOVE THE GAY THING IN THEIR FACE. You know, the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" version of being gay at the family dinner table. No, at Bob and Jim's we old Gay Guys can be ourselves among friends. You know, just like a regular family.

Now to be fair, I have been invited and attended several straight family dinners at Thanksgiving in the past and they couldn't have been nicer to me. My being gay wasn't an issue but I also knew that I should not bring up anything at all about my life although most of the other family members around the table talked about their boyfriends and girlfriends, my personal life was not to be discussed. Oh sure, I can just imagine the reaction if I told them about the new cute waiter at the Purple Parrot. Not that I'm complaining though. I have had wonderful dinners at my straight friend's houses but it's not the same as being around the table of a bunch of old queens (as we affection ally call ourselves, not that we are or anything, Heaven forefend.)

I will miss Thanksgiving dinner at my friend Big Bob's this year again. I'm working at the hotel. I like working during the holidays. I get a chance to greet and make comfortable the mostly older guests who are in town to celebrate the holiday with their children and grandchildren but don't want to stay in the house. I've always found that working the holidays to be the most pleasant time at whatever hotel I'm working at that time. I enjoy spending my holiday with these appreciative guests.

I hope by the end of this holiday week this feeling of melancholy will have gone.

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!


injaynesworld said...

Sounds like a great time at Bob and Jim's. If I lived nearby, I might just crash the party.

Happy Thanksgiving.

G said...

Don't let it consume you. They win when they can tear you down. Hugs M and G

Ron said...


You would be welcomed! Please do if you're ever in the neighborhood. Bob's place is just outside of Georgetown, DE.


Ron said...

Good advice Mike. I hope you and Glenn have a very happy Thanksgiving.


It's always hard for me during the holidays too. Too often I see unkindness; I see homeless people - I see lonely or disabled people.

For some reason I become more keenly aware of those in need - those who aren't as fortunate as others, and when I know some are feasting and some are hungry it hurts.

When some will have glorious Christmas parties; plenty of food, and others will be sick; will be in the hospital - left alone in nursing homes or living in a part of the world where war and famine are in full force, it also cuts into my heart.

It gets very hard on people who are sensitive; who care - who want peace and comfort for all humans, and we all feel so helpless when we can't make it all happen - when we can't create that miracle, and have love and peace as well as tolerance fill the hearts of all people.

I know the feelings you have; I know the tears I've cried, and the nights I stare at the ceiling wondering why we all can't be equal - why we all can't be free from disease and strife.

I know I wish I could be God - I have a long list of things I'd fix immediately, if I were.

Ron said...

Thank you for your heartfelt comment. I feel as you do during Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful for all that I have and do feel overwhelmed at the loneliness and suffering so many go through at this time of the year. Some year when I'm not working on Thanksgiving (as I have been the past three years and will always do as long as they ask me) I will volunteer my time at a soup kitchen during Thanksgiving. That's something I've always wanted to do but never got around to doing.

Thank you again Diane for your friendship. I value it very much.