Thursday, January 29, 2009

From Darkness to Light

Two days ago the snows came through the little edge of Delaware where I live. Usually we miss the big snows. I call my Mother and feel pretty smug when she tells me of the latest snowfall of 3, 4, 5 and more inches of snow, usually topped with a sleeting rain which brings down the power cords and takes out their electricity. That doesn’t happen down here where my house is located, two miles from the Delaware Bay. The coastal air evaporates the half inch of snow that does cover the ground around her from time to time. Tuesday was different. This time we had the sleeting rain to form a icy crust on the snow. No feeling smug this time when talking to Mom. I looked outside and knew I wouldn’t be going anywhere in my car. I hunkered down inside my castle.

Yesterday I awoke to a misty rain. I looked out the window and fog was rising from the ground. The warm temperatures and the rain were causing the half inch of snow to that had covered the ground the day before to melt into smoky fog. Now was the time to make a run for it to the store to get my bananas and my lottery tickets. Driving down Route 1 to Milton was like driving through a cloud, the fog was that heavy. By the time I finished shopping and got into my Subaru Forester, most of the fog had dissipated.

I retuned home to my quiet and sad house. Bill was still holed up in his bedroom. He will come out when he’s ready. I’ve found from past experience I can’t rush him. The rains picked up. All the snow was gone now. The rain heavy clouds interfered with my satellite signal in receiving MSNBC. What would I do without my daily dose of Keith and Rachel?

This was a good time to watch my Netflix rental movie. Usually I watch my movies on the weekend but I needed a respite from the heaviness in this house caused by Bill’s problem. The movie was “Big Eden.” It was a gay love story of unrequited love. Now there’s a new subject. Well, it was a pleasant surprise. At first I was baffled by the actor who played the main character. He wasn’t your typical Hollywood, shaved chest, hunk and a half. No, he was Ayre Gross, a nerdy, physically unattractive New York artist. Oh yes, just my dreamboat without a doubt. He leaves his privileged cocoon in New York for the big sky of Montana to help his grandfather who had a stroke. Returning home he finds that his high school crush now has two children! Oh yes, this looks interesting. But the plot takes an unconventional turn. I won’t give away the story to ruin it for any of the readers of this blog who want to see the movie but I will say I was pleasantly surprised by the ending.

One just never knows where love will turn up. The important message to me is that we are all entitled to love and we all are worthwhile. There may be bumps and detours on our Life’s Journey, but in the end for those of us fortunate enough to love and be loved, it’s worth it. Love is more than a mutual sexual attraction of one person to another, whatever their sex may be. True love is the love of one’s neighbors, friends and family. Many times that love is there for the taking but we don’t see it because of the barriers we have erected around ourselves to protect us from pain.

Gray skies, snow and rain have prevailed the past two days in my little corner of the world. The sun has reappeared today. I’m going out for a ride. I am thankful that I have another day on this earth. Each day is a gift.

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