Saturday, March 22, 2014

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

If we have our health, a comfortable shelter and enough to eat and drink all that is left to need is a friend….or two…..or three.  You can have all the basics of life such as shelter, food and drink but if you don't have love in your life, life is pretty empty then isn't it?

I've been lucky in my life that during high school I had a good friend….or two. First Larry, then Bill B.


Larry, his wife Lois and me





Lifelong friend Bill B.

After school and joining the Army some of my best friends were Bob McC., Ron H. and Sal D.


Army buddy and best friend Bob McM.


First gay friends (met in Army) - Sal and Ron (gone now)

After the Army there was a brief period, about a year, when I was adrift without any close friends. I felt it.  I was very lonely.  There were times on a Saturday night living in my $65.00 a month furnished apartment in Coatesville, Pennsylvania, I thought I would go out of my mind from loneliness.  One Saturday night I turned on all the lights in my apartment, turned up my record player as loud as I could and danced and sang to myself.  I believe I exorcised something out of my system that night because I began a regular routine of visiting Philadelphia once a month. That's when I met Bill K., the man I've lived with for almost 50 years now.  


Bill - 1970


These days I have a few very valued close friends for which I am very thankful.  I've met these friends through blogging.  Much to my surprise I didn't meet them because I moved to Rehoboth Beach/Lewes/Milton area of southern Delaware with it's large gay population. Sure, I've met a few people but no close friendships formed, much to my surprise.  But where I have formed close friendships is through some of the folks I've met through my blog.  Which just goes to prove, you just never know where you'll find true happiness.  And friends, believe me, I am truly happy now at this time of my life.  Sure, my body may aging and slowly but surely  falling apart and I don't have those head turning looks that I did when I was 21 years old (if in fact I ever did have THOSE looks, I didn't think I did at the time but looking back from my vantage point now I see that I wasn't too bad looking).  


Me - 1971

Now that I am in my twilight years (the Great Beyond isn't all that far away now - I can see that Death's Door), I find that I am as happy as I ever was in my entire life.  In fact, I didn't know this level of happiness existed.  All I can say is that it took a long time but it was well worth it.


Bill and Pat - last week


Of course, as I wrote in some of my previous blogs, some in my family and some others I don't know aren't happy at all that I am happy.  They should be happy for me and it is sad that they aren't but I won't let their negativity bring me down. Sometimes my problem is that I try too hard to please everyone and forget that one can't please everyone all the time.  For those you cannot please, leave them behind which is exactly what I am doing.  I feel sad for them.  Maybe they will find happiness too but I won't let them bring me down.  

One of my very favorite songs is one of the saddest songs I've ever heard.  When I hear Elton John sing it tears come to my eyes.  The song is called "We All Fall In Love Sometimes and Curtains."  I want these songs played at my funeral.



Wise men say
It looks like rain today
It crackled on the speakers
And trickled down the sleepy subway trains
For heavy eyes could hardly hold us
Aching legs that often told us
It's all worth it
We all fall in love sometimes

The full moon's bright
And starlight filled the evening
We wrote it and I played it
Something happened it's so strange this feeling
Naive notions that were childish
Simple tunes that tried to hide it
But when it comes
We all fall in love sometimes

Did we, didn't we, should we couldn't we
I'm not sure `cause sometimes we're so blind
Struggling through the day
When even your best friend says
Don't you find
We all fall in love sometimes

And only passing time
Could kill the boredom we acquired
Running with the losers for a while
But our Empty Sky was filled with laughter
Just before the flood
Painting worried faces with a smile
I used to know this old scarecrow
He was my song
My joy and sorrow,
Cast alone between the furrows
Of a field no longer sown by anyone.
I held a dandelion
That said the time had come
To leave upon the wind
Not to return
When summer burned the earth again.

Cultivate the freshest flower
This garden ever grew
Beneath these branches
I once wrote such childish words for you.
But that's okay
There's treasure children always seek to find,
And just like us
You must have had
A once upon a time.

6 comments:

  1. Ron

    I might not have taken your blog right today - it's left me feeling sad. I know I have moments of this too and I find there are songs that just bring this feeling to the fore as if I'm keeping it below the surface. I don't know. But I think the message here is truly about gratitude. And I'm pretty sure I'm more aware of that in my life now than before. I don't ever take important people and situations for granted. I wish you the best in life - a reeaallly long one!

    Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Pat,
      I'm alright. Sorry for the down aspect of this posting. I actually meant to convey that I'm just getting over the events of the past week and I'm not on the upswing. But I do like this Elton John song and would like it played at my funeral. That is if they can find my body.
      Ron

      Delete
  2. Ron,

    If I have a funeral I'm gonna have happy music, maybe something downright silly. I'd rather leave 'em laughing'.

    Lar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lar,
      That's an option. I've already had enough laughter in my life while I'm alive. I'll prefer to do the unconventional at my funeral. I like to make those who tried to control my life while I was alive uncomfortable. My ornery nature I guess.
      Ron

      Delete
  3. how about playing "the lady is a tramp" for me at my funeral?

    ReplyDelete